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The microwave oven is a rectangular box, usually white in color, which is used to heat up random objects such as tin foil, doll heads, frogs, and other small creatures. Microwave ovens are found in kitchens all over the world, and have been featured in thousands of online videos made by middle school aged teens. Microwaves have also been recognized as the head chef of many establishments, such as Olive Garden. Often called a nuclear oven as opposed to a conventional oven, this infernal device could only be conceived by the cruelest minds in the DEEPEST PITS OF HELL, most undoubtedly conceived by such abhorrid demon philosophers as Heinrich Himmler, Jack the Ripper, and Al Gore, in a fashion that Lucifer's own damned, radiating evilness served as a rudimentary template of unholy culinary design, the microwave is an ingenious yet simple device used to burn food around the edges, turn bacon into rubber, make biscuits into hockey pucks, burn water, create civil unrest in African countries, stale a newly opened can of Guinness, cancel your favorite TV sitcom, interrupt your wireless internet connection, excommunicate the Pope, and explode hamsters by zapping them with rays of concentrated evil. Rays of concentrated evil cause atoms to become angry, thus raising their temperatures. When turned on, a microwave oven goes bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! (Full article...)
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
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In the news
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"Nyaaah, it's not worthless, mommy, I WANT IT!"
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Onay isthay ayday...
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