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41,112 articlesay inay Englishay
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You've read the title. I know what you want, dear reader. I bet you were TikToking down the rabbithole when your mother blew a hole through your door with a C4, and asked you to read seven long-ass books that nobody has the time for in this decade! (That TikToking doesn't do itself right?) And then you said something, like "First of all, what the hell mom, blowing a hole through my door. Also mom, seriously, I don't have time for this... gawd... get off my back. I have two hours of TikToking to do and then a Mario Kart Wii session... on my Wii!" Your mother smacks you over the head with forty-three door-stopping Harry Potter books, and a constant supply of shitty, smelly novels! And when you tried to complain, your mother unbelievably said, "What the hell did you just say to me, Billy? I'll have you know that I'm shart, and you're sooo fucking dump." You stare at your mother in disbelief. No modern parent tells their kids what to do, let alone telling them to read outside when it's -30°F! You'd freeze your dick off! Well get ready Billy, because if even the thought of reading Harry Potter in less than a minute has already blown your brain to Mars, then reading this page would've surely blown your brain to Jupiter. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that the bird is the word? (Pictured)
- ... that in an experiment known as Monty Hall problem, if you never make up your mind about which door to choose, the goat behind the door will grow tired and burst out?
- ... that I'm better than this person in particular?
- ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
- ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
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In the news
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Onay isthay ayday...
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Oday'stay eaturedfay icturepay
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Iterwray anday Oobnay ofay ethay Onthmay
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,112 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Igpay Atinlay!:
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