Portal:Zoology
It's not easy to kill a unicorn. From far away, and even from up close, unicorns are real pretty n' shit. But if you know unicorns like I don't, you would have a real problem with em. FUCA has been recruiting people to our cause for a century with a list of complaints we have against unicorns, a book of recipes, sex positions, a map of unicorn hideouts, and a list of reasons to hunt unicorns in the first place.
The most important reason to want to bring down one of these creatures is for the horn. There are a lot of different theories on what the horn is filled with, but I can tell you right now, it's gotta be worth something. If you tear the horn off the unicorn's head and sprinkle its contents all over the place, you'll be able to fly.
The Marmot or Template:A/F in French, is the smallest, but by far the most dangerous member of the bear family. Marmots are bears that have mutated as a result of exposure to high levels of radiation. One of the deadliest animals in the world, the elusive marmot stalks it's prey, and can consume up to eight times it's body weight. It is interesting to note that a pack of wild marmots will regularly devour a small elephant in one sitting, and contrary to popular belief, it is not the tiger that is the most dangerous to the African population - it is the Nigerian Marmot that claims more victims.
Marmots on the Attack
Marmots roam the wilds of the northern, central and western parts of the South African Peninsula in small packs. They mainly inhabit deep forests and sparsely wooded mountains, but will hunt the open desert plains and farm pastures when food becomes scarce. They prey on the domesticated animals of farmers, or even the farmers themselves if that is easier. Marmots are also known to infect both cattle and humans with the incurable disease lysdexia.
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SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Earlier today a heroic attempt was made by San Francisco Fire Fighters as they braved a burning building to save two kittens. The kittens were found unconscious in the living room, surrounded by flame and smoke when two daring fire fighters lifted the kittens, broke down the front door with an axe and rushed the kittens outside where paramedics successfully revived the kittens. On a related note, Grandma may still be inside the building.
The kittens made a full recovery and were soon back on their feet drinking milk from a bowl, which received an approving "Awww..." from everyone present. The kittens are indeed very cute, both are brown with blue eyes and have, according to one neighboring resident, "the cutest little kitty faces" she has ever seen. A combined effort was made to wash and dry the kittens to get the soot off of their fur which later turned out to be a success. At one point a man came running from down the street and ran into the burning building yelling "Grandma's still in there!". After a confusing moment of silence, the kitty washing continued.…
| Archive | Article credit: Raliter | (more...) |
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