Portal:Zoology

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The Zoological Portal
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Zoology (not to be confused with zooology (the study of animal enclosures) or zoooology (the study of animal eggs)) is the study of animals themselves, and the determination of how they can best be exploited by humans and other extraterrestrial lifeforms. (See more...)
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The decisive moment.

The SOAFARFACC is a contest held annually all across Sweden except when it isn't. It attracts orienteering fans and people who enjoy firing rats from cannons worldwide. The contest lasts for a month during which there is much dancing, playing of marching tunes and of course - juggling. The winner is chosen according to their orienteering skills and the gracefulness of the rat's arc into oblivion.

The Game

The object of the game is to successfully carry a rat from Ystad, in the south of Sweden, to Jokkmokk in the north. Contestants must find their way across the treacherous Swedish terrain using only a map and compass. They are not allowed to buy food or drinks during the journey and must instead catch meatballs in their mouths that are thrown from kitchen windows by local residents.

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Creature Feature
Bosursus Grizlii

The Norwegian Short-Tailed Yak Bear, not to be confused with the polar bear or the Seventeen spotted eastern-most blue-nailed field wallaby, is an animal best described as the result of a one night stand between an elephant and an owl with antlers, or a large fluffy rabbit that isn't. It is the northern hemisphere equivalent of the impala antelope of Africa.

Description

The Norwegian short-tailed yak bear is a very unusual animal, vaguely resembling a yak but more closely something that isn't that at all. Males, called stags, may grow over four feet tall and up to two hundred pounds, while females, usually known as nullers or bunties (pronounced boon-tees), rarely grow half as large. Both genders have the same dense, oily coat of white fur and a small, somewhat undeveloped but nevertheless functional trunk, reminiscent of an elephant's, but only stags have tusks. By the time a stag is fourteen or fifteen years old, his randomly forking tusks may weigh over 100 pounds and are often twisted and entwined around most of his body, sometimes preventing feeding and often preventing him from laying down, or in some cases walking or breathing. These tusks have little purpose, as females seem quite indifferent to them and they are far too large to be used in fighting…

In the News
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SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Earlier today a heroic attempt was made by San Francisco Fire Fighters as they braved a burning building to save two kittens. The kittens were found unconscious in the living room, surrounded by flame and smoke when two daring fire fighters lifted the kittens, broke down the front door with an axe and rushed the kittens outside where paramedics successfully revived the kittens. On a related note, Grandma may still be inside the building.

The kittens made a full recovery and were soon back on their feet drinking milk from a bowl, which received an approving "Awww..." from everyone present. The kittens are indeed very cute, both are brown with blue eyes and have, according to one neighboring resident, "the cutest little kitty faces" she has ever seen. A combined effort was made to wash and dry the kittens to get the soot off of their fur which later turned out to be a success. At one point a man came running from down the street and ran into the burning building yelling "Grandma's still in there!". After a confusing moment of silence, the kitty washing continued.…

Archive Article credit: Raliter (more...)
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