Portal:Zoology
It's not easy to kill a unicorn. From far away, and even from up close, unicorns are real pretty n' shit. But if you know unicorns like I don't, you would have a real problem with em. FUCA has been recruiting people to our cause for a century with a list of complaints we have against unicorns, a book of recipes, sex positions, a map of unicorn hideouts, and a list of reasons to hunt unicorns in the first place.
The most important reason to want to bring down one of these creatures is for the horn. There are a lot of different theories on what the horn is filled with, but I can tell you right now, it's gotta be worth something. If you tear the horn off the unicorn's head and sprinkle its contents all over the place, you'll be able to fly.
A Dead Rat is a fine choice as a pet. If well cared for, it can provide many years of companionship, all the while making very minimal demands on you, its new owner. If you've had other pets in the past, you'll find that Dead Rats are truly exceptional companion animals. With a very small investment of your time and money, they can become almost entirely self reliant, while still being there for you 100% of the time. Unlike some other pets, which would prefer to spend some nights outside the home hunting for small game, or which may want to spend part of the day sleeping and don't want to be awakened, Dead Rats will never leave you alone, and will never object to being awakened from a nap.
Acquiring your Dead Rat If you haven't yet acquired your Dead Rat, or if you're thinking of bringing home a few more Dead Rats, you should give some thought to what sort of Dead Rat will best suit your needs. There are several ways to obtain Dead Rats, and which one you choose will depend on exactly what sort of rat you want.
Roadkill - By far the cheapest and easiest method for obtaining a Dead Rat! Just look for a dead rat lying in the road, and take it home.
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| JAKARTA, Indonesia |
A rare Sumatran tiger dragged a man out of a fight in an Indonesian village and saved his life from friends who had tried to kill him, an official said Monday.
The 26-year-old man, identified as Darmilus, was attacked Sunday while he and seven friends were playing cards in a makeshift hut in Seponjen village near the protected Berbak National Park, a known tiger habitat.
The seven friends lost over 2 million Indonesian Rupiah to Darmilus, and, feeling cheated, set upon the man with intent to kill him and recover their lost fortune.
“Darmilus was being beaten close to the door when a Sumatran tiger suddenly grabbed him and dragged him outside”, said Nurazman, an official with Jambi Province conservation agency. “His friends managed to pursue him but the tiger fought them off.”
“After chasing away the seven would-be murderers, and attending to Darmilus’ wounds, the tiger finally ran away, leaving him at the nearest Church of Good Hope”, said Nurazman, who just wouldn’t shut up.…
| Archive | Article credit: Funnybony | (more...) |
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