Portal:Zoology
Bears are far more intimately associated with the avocation of shystering than one might expect. After developing the concept of imaginary numbers, and inventing a four-dimensional analogue to the Rubik's Cube (constructed entirely of time and pressed ham), bears found themselves bored and undertook to learn the way of the gavel. Ever since, a growing proportion of our nation's most effective judges and advocates have been bears - among them renowned early-20th-century judge Learned Paw and trial counsel Clarence Darrow (who, in the celebrated Scopes "monkey trial" of 1925, decimated William Jennings Bryan's anti-evolutionary campaign by turning into a human over the course of closing arguments). This article spotlights just a few examples of the intimate linkage between pomaded, sanctimonious alcoholics and Giant Furry Blobs of Imminent Death (trademark pending).
Property - Real property
Historically, the Anglo-American common law has recognized two broad categories of easement (i.e., an interest in real property, divorced from fee ownership and consisting in a right to use the property for specified purposes). These are the easement appurtenant and the easement in gross. With bears' growing demands for civil rights and increasing participation in human society…
A Grue (Gruesomicius ravenousi) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things. Grues are not often seen roaming the wilderness in herds, whistling old-time Irish pub songs, working on crossword puzzles, and calculating the amount of back taxes owed by car salesmen. The reason Grues are not often seen doing anything is because grues live in total darkness, so the whole "seeing" thing would be kind of hard to do. The likelihood of being eaten by a grue is probably non-zero.
It is widely believed that all emeralds are grue, but in fact, all emeralds are bleen.
There are an estimated 47 grues left in the United States today due to the Grue conservation program - luckily all grues are kept under heavy rocks, or locked away in abandoned biker bars.
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| JAKARTA, Indonesia |
A rare Sumatran tiger dragged a man out of a fight in an Indonesian village and saved his life from friends who had tried to kill him, an official said Monday.
The 26-year-old man, identified as Darmilus, was attacked Sunday while he and seven friends were playing cards in a makeshift hut in Seponjen village near the protected Berbak National Park, a known tiger habitat.
The seven friends lost over 2 million Indonesian Rupiah to Darmilus, and, feeling cheated, set upon the man with intent to kill him and recover their lost fortune.
“Darmilus was being beaten close to the door when a Sumatran tiger suddenly grabbed him and dragged him outside”, said Nurazman, an official with Jambi Province conservation agency. “His friends managed to pursue him but the tiger fought them off.”
“After chasing away the seven would-be murderers, and attending to Darmilus’ wounds, the tiger finally ran away, leaving him at the nearest Church of Good Hope”, said Nurazman, who just wouldn’t shut up.…
| Archive | Article credit: Funnybony | (more...) |
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