Portal:Zoology

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The Zoological Portal
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Zoology (not to be confused with zooology (the study of animal enclosures) or zoooology (the study of animal eggs)) is the study of animals themselves, and the determination of how they can best be exploited by humans and other extraterrestrial lifeforms. (See more...)
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An amateur seal clubbing team in South Africa during practice.

Seal Clubbing is a team-based sport popular in northern Canada, Greenland, Norway and Russia. It is the third most popular sport in Canada after hockey and moose bludgeoning, as well as the official sport of the Territory of Nunavut. Seal clubbing has remained “in the fringe” for most of its history, although it has recently been catapulted into the limelight due to a great deal of negative press it has received regarding the safety of its players.

Seal clubbing began as a native Inuit game. Feuding tribes would meet at a designated area, select a number of seal pups, and bludgeon them to death with blunt clubs en masse as a means of resolving disputes. When it became apparent that such a practice was detrimental to the seal population—upon which the Inuit livelihood depended—the Inuit halted seal clubbing as a means of conflict resolution, opting instead for bludgeoning each other. Seal clubbing, however, survived as a recreational sport.

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Creature Feature
OMG, RUN!!

A Grue (Gruesomicius ravenousi) is a box-shaped gap-toothed mammal known for eating humans, though more recently they have been known to kill certain lone wolves, construction workers, a gerbil or two, speranah, the occasional monkey, people who send annoying chain e-mails, your pets, and...well, Grues like eating a lot of things. Grues are not often seen roaming the wilderness in herds, whistling old-time Irish pub songs, working on crossword puzzles, and calculating the amount of back taxes owed by car salesmen. The reason Grues are not often seen doing anything is because grues live in total darkness, so the whole "seeing" thing would be kind of hard to do. The likelihood of being eaten by a grue is probably non-zero.

It is widely believed that all emeralds are grue, but in fact, all emeralds are bleen.

There are an estimated 47 grues left in the United States today due to the Grue conservation program - luckily all grues are kept under heavy rocks, or locked away in abandoned biker bars.

In the News
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JAKARTA, Indonesia

A rare Sumatran tiger dragged a man out of a fight in an Indonesian village and saved his life from friends who had tried to kill him, an official said Monday.

The 26-year-old man, identified as Darmilus, was attacked Sunday while he and seven friends were playing cards in a makeshift hut in Seponjen village near the protected Berbak National Park, a known tiger habitat.

The seven friends lost over 2 million Indonesian Rupiah to Darmilus, and, feeling cheated, set upon the man with intent to kill him and recover their lost fortune.

“Darmilus was being beaten close to the door when a Sumatran tiger suddenly grabbed him and dragged him outside”, said Nurazman, an official with Jambi Province conservation agency. “His friends managed to pursue him but the tiger fought them off.”

“After chasing away the seven would-be murderers, and attending to Darmilus’ wounds, the tiger finally ran away, leaving him at the nearest Church of Good Hope, said Nurazman, who just wouldn’t shut up.…

Archive Article credit: Funnybony (more...)
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