Wings

A couple planes using wings. I hate these things.

Wings, also known as "those things some things use to fly" are a type of formation that use possible magic to make things fly. No one is quite sure how they work, although we're pretty sure they have something to do with air. Although usually found on flying things, wings can also be found on some types of boats, such as the sailboat, which do not fly. Some animals, such as birds, bugs, bats, or reptiles, have learned how to create their own wings, using them for flight, to varying degrees of success (see penguin or flying lizard). Interestingly, wings have developed separately on many different organisms, despite the fact that said organisms have zero relation to each other. This is from a little thing called convergent evolution, which is when different creatures evolve in similar ways because of environmental pressure. Now, convergent evolution is a very interesting topic, but is a bit out of scope for this article. Perhaps someone should write a separate article for it.

Use by humans

Now, as you are probably aware of, humans do not naturally have wings, which is a problem, as humans have an insatiable urge to fly and go fast. To remedy this, two guys named the Wright Brothers had the idea that "Hey, you see that bird? What if we were birds?" and then they proceeded to strap a bicycle to a frame with wings and take it out for a spin. After a few attempts, it did in fact work, thus leading to the current climate of humans flying all over the place. Still, humans cannot fly on their own, but many folks have been attempting to alter the human genomes to allow them to grow wings. Now, as a creature with wings, it's a bit overrated. Just walk. It's much easier. But, alas, the humans will not listen to me, and they now fly all over the place, with their false wings. Oh well. If they wish to fly so much, I will make them fly. Unfortunately, humans are quite heavy, so hopefully I do not drop them. I will update you later. UPDATE: fuck fuck fuck I dropped him, what the hell do I do? I'm just going to go into the woods and hope nobody notices. Maybe call a friend and ask for help? Crap, he's not picking up. Let's leave a voice mail. "Heeey, it's Jerry. I need some help with something. Remember when I was ranting about how humans shouldn't be able to fly? Well, I decided to let one fly. Did not go well. Please hurry over and help me figure this out. Thanks, call me back." Well, hopefully he calls me back.

Early wings

you and I next to one of these beasts.

The first creatures to fly were pterosaurs, a sort of giant flying lizard. These things were terrifying, and the largest, known as Quetzalcoatlus northrop, had a wing span of over thirty feet, which is nearly double my own wingspan. They also stood at twelve feet tall, which is almost twice my own height. scary stuff. Well, at least those things aren't around anymore. After that, wings also developed on all sorts of other creatures, including myself.

Wings in the current age

Currently, wings are employed by humans to fly them all around, so they can get to their destinations faster, although whether or not this is necessary is a moot point. Several animals use wings as well, including but not limited to: birds, bugs, mammals, giant moth creatures, and some types of grues. In conclusion, wings are overrated. they're big, they get in the way, and it's much easier to just walk. Just use your legs. It's quite easy.