User talk:Under user/Archive 1

Welcome to our magnificent civilization!

Greetings, honored traveler Under user/Archive 1, and welcome to the glorious nation of Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions to the site. I hope you enjoy this great land and decide to make a home here. If not, the city exit is right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah, there you go. Anyway, here are a few helpful links for humble newcomers such as yourself:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read any of Uncyclopedia's sacred parchments, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with some sort of issue, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being a proud citizen of Uncyclopedia! Please remember to sign your name on all talk pages by typing four tildes (~~~~) or alternatively use the "sign" button () that you see just above the edit box. This will automatically produce both your name and the date.

If you need any sort of help, then feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Village Dump, or add the following template: {{help}} to this page along with a message describing your dilemma and someone will come along and help you if they can.

Again, welcome! --General Insineratehymn 12:55, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

A Tightly-Knotted Thank You

Thank you for choosing the Bow tie You are now more attractive, more intelligent, and more popular in school.

Thank you new using friend! And yes, the article certainly is true. ;) --THINKER 05:51, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

Wow, that says "friend". See Ma, I have friends, aren't you proud? --Under user 13:19, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote

BIG MOTHER AND BIG FATHER ARE WATCHING YOU! Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light

Slithy Tove 05:07, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

Aw, shucks... --Under user 13:19, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

Thanks again! -- CUN PLS VFH (Miniluv•Minitrue•Unsoc) 05:36, 6 August 2007 (UTC)

Man, that makes all my hard VFH work (cough) worthwhile --Under user 13:19, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Sweet Christ!

Under user/Archive 1

I thank you humbly for the opportunity to impose myself upon the tiny box marked Today's featured article. My own little box in this dark corner of the interweb. My welcoming visage, greeting all who visit this cartoonish funhouse of crazy people. The depravity, flowing like gravy down the chin of a senator. This is my honor.

Much appreciated, you bastard.

Yours always,

Duke
(dictated but not read. Transcripted by your pal, THINKER 04:33, 8 August 2007 (UTC).)

And there's the word pal in that one. See ma, two friends! Oh wait, it's the same person as the other one. Still, I'm counting it. --Under user 13:19, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Mmmm, thank you!

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:40, 10 August 2007 (UTC)

Generous in your generic-ousity. Nice one! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 09:24, 10 August 2007 (UTC)

Can I get your vote?

Have you actually read DuMont Television Network? If so, where is the disconnect between it and you? The network was definitely obscure in real life, but I wrote the article in such a fashion as to evoke a distinct 1950s feel. -Tritefantastic 02:42, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

• Well, thanks for giving it a look-over. -Tritefantastic 20:36, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

A psychic is you!

Your A Big Psychic Now!

Thank you for voting HowTo:Bend a spoon to the front page of the Uncyclopedia. With your help, we can work together and give the psychic community the acknowledgment it deserves! We accept donations! Happy Bending! We apologize for the delay in sending this thank-you message. It was transcribed and sent telepathically, and our expert telepathist has had a headache for the last week and was unable to send it properly. Did we mention we accept donations?

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:22 Aug 17, 2007 22:18, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks For voting!

For voting for my page, as well as for your kind words of praise, I award you this template:

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a handy pamphlet, so that you will always remember how to check for lumps.
	Thanks for voting on my article, and giving me TWO FEATURES IN A ROW! Also: beware the deadly lumps!

Thanks again, P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:19, Aug 19, 2007

Thanks for the vote!

THE has granted you an express invitation to Skippy Leadwell's Funeral. The eulogy will be delivered by Leviticus, one of his favorite blades of grass who is being flown in first-class from Africa. Mr. Leadwell will be laid to rest on a pile of grass clippings. There he will lie with his brothers for eternity. Or at least until he starts to smell.

Thanks for voting for UnScripts:Grass in the Mist. --THE 21:55, 20 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

As promised, you are presented with one (1) bomb shelter for your Pee Review of HowTo:Survive a Terrorist Attack. In the event of a terrorist attack, simply place your bomb in this handy (and stylish!) container to protect it from harm.

despite being your first, your Pee Review was thorough and informative. i'll improve it some more, but i'm going to hold off VHF-ing it for a while, because i promised to stop the self-noms for a while, and i wouldn't want my fellow uncyclopedians losing what little respect they have for me. keep up the good work! --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:14, 23 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

	WARNING!
	Since you voted for Blue Screen of Death on VFH, your user talk page has encountered a fatal addition of a template.
	To correct this problem, you must either: 1. Accept SRXT's sincere thanks, or 2. Go and buy a better PC, you cheap bugger. Select an option _

SRXT. 23/08 06.51pm

indeed

yeah, i did in fact start to write a paragraph on how longer words could be tricky (actually what i did in the actual article with long words was keep double letters together and keep the first few letters first, last few last, etc. so 'community' would be 'cnmmoutiy' instead of 'ctinmuomy'). cheating, kind of, but whatever. alas, i could not get the paragraph to 'feel' right, and i'm actually going out of town soon for a while, so i (probably stupidly) rushed it onto VFH as is. rest assured, though, once i return from vacation, the paragraph will be added. you can even write it if you want to; just throw it (or even just more ideas) on the talk page and we can stick it on. thanks for the input & good lucks, etc. --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 12:44, 24 August 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 21:15, 24 August 2007 (UTC)

All hail!

--The Acceptable  Cainad  (Fnord) 09:39, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

You've been Invited

You've been invited to take an exiting new beta test of concept of Satiropendium, the comedic compendium!

Satiropendium requires good writers willing to collaborate articles with others, tough critics to review the articles to see if they're worthy, and stewards to verify the articles as being the best they are. More details can be seen in the link. If you are not the best writer, the inviter might have you in mind as a critic and steward, and if ever the full wiki is setup, you will be able to have a chance to get a full fleged admin account, but that's only if you're one of the first five to sign up for the job (and there's a pretty good you will be).

Note: There was a seperate wiki, but because it was a decrepit old version of mediawiki, it was shut down until adequate hosting can be found. You can help us get hosting by joining and helping out!

~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

27/08/2007 @ 14:59

Thanks for voting!

	WILSON!! WIILLSOOONN!! Hey, there he is! Anyways, The Led Balloon would like to thank you for voting on UnBooks:The Castaway.
	When you get on the raft, don't forget to bring...... Oh, never mind...

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:31, Aug 29, 2007

Bleh.

please accept this template both as a thank-you for voting on "Ode to the Monotony of Life" but also, in its own, small way, as a symbol of the monotony, general grayness, and eternal dull unchangingness of life, which somehow continues to go on despite many objections to it and people opting out of it, God knows why

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:37 Aug 29, 2007

Your ideas have been implemented for great justice

Thanks for your ideas for Space Invaders. Its not finished yet but for now I'm out of ideas. -- cute Ape (fornicate) (Riot Porn) 18:57, 30 August 2007 (UTC)

Thwack!! I mean, uh, thanks!

	The Led Balloon humbly thanks you for reading and voting on UnNews:Hitting children found to have positive effects on brain development.
	Remember, it's for their own damn good!

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:34, Sep 2, 2007

Consider Your Penis...REMOVE'D!

THANK YOU FOR VOTING!
You voted for Why?:Remove Your Penis on VFH, and it got featured!! As a token of our humble appreciation, you receive 75% off your next Penis Removal!
Come see us sometime, the doctor would love to meat meet you.

-RAHB 03:30, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

awesome!

Gerrycheevers sincerely thanks you. Your vote for NotM is much appreciated. As a token of his gratitude, Gerry wishes to offer you his services should you ever be looking for a goalie while planning a pick-up street hockey game.

thanks again for your support. i hope to continue to earn your respect, approval, and spare change. --SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 03:49, 4 September 2007 (UTC)

VFH thanks!

	Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!
	PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.

Thanks again. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 00:44, 6 September 2007 (UTC)

Wheepa!

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 14:43, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

The (Late) WotM Thankering

Ah, the Under user. A new user who seems to have his head on straight. That in and of itself is a highly respectable thing. However, your support on WotM is even higher in my personal appreciation. And, should you keep up good article writing like the one I read, I see quite a future ahead of you. Continue on in the good fight for humor! --THINKER 01:04, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Heaps of praise

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a nice, sturdy Wall, and hopes it well help you to hold up your ceiling very soon.
	That's what these things do, ya know. They hold up the ceiling.

Thanks for the vote, U.U.! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:21, Sep 10, 2007