User talk:Regret Tenenbaum/Archive1

24 May 2008 - Welcome

Welcome!

Hello, Regret Tenenbaum, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
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• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Regret Tenenbaum/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! 

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– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:01 May 24, 2008

19 June 2008 - Cake!

Template

Well, following an overwhelming response to the dialect word o' the week thingy last week, you would appear to be teh winnah! Therefore, as I am a man of my word, one template duly follows. Thanks for noticing... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:03, Jun 19

Under User has blessed you with cake for being friendly and/or useful. Eat it quickly before he changes his mind. Warning: cake prepared in an environment which also processes nuts, and contains lactose, gluten, ground glass and arsenic, which gives it a lovely tang.

23 June 2008 - Spiffy Sig, Cookies

My spiffy sig

I like the spiffy sig there Regret. Er, that's all I have to say right now. --UU - natter 15:42, Jun 23

Well.... thank you, sir. :D -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:28, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

Gimme a cookie

Hmm i would like to congragulate you for finding my userpage while it had almost no links to it.Therefore you get a cookie. Now gimme one in return!--Darth Lithuania 22:57, 23 June 2008 (UTC)

25 June 2008 - UnSignpost Guidelines, Dicovery of QVFD

I'm not really leading

Ref: this, UnSignpost stories appear to have bylines (see Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/6-19-08). I'm just following those that came before. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:03, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

VFD

Just to let you know, for articles like the one you just VFD tagged, QVFD would be more appropriate. VFD's generally for articles over a week old that don't look saveable. :) ~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH) 20:00, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

No problem, I'm glad to help ^^ anything else you want, just ask me! ~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH) 21:03, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Hehe, thanks :) ~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH) 21:22, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

2 August 2008 - Joining the Mafia

Mafioso

Welcome to the Mafioso. We're working on a functioning game of Blackjack and a few other things which you should be able to enjoy soon! There is one weird thing we do, though, which is raising money. All you have to do is, sign! Anyway, welcome to the Mafia. Yours Sincerely, Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie

4 Aug 2008 - Blackjack

Regret's Black Jack Parlour?

This is as good a place as any. I figured out that <choose> is not you're friend for the Blackjack. Here's the plan: Map out a few hands (20-50) over a while, which contains all the information for that hand. the expr code will not work, so we will have to just make it a random choice of pre-determined hands, with wins and losses being included in the parameters. We'll use your wonderful deck, because it's fan-bloody-tastic! If you want to give me a hand, it would be Much appreciated, as mapping out 500 or so cards is a pain in the arse, but there can be no victory without sacrifice. I'll even let you brand the game as Regret's Black Jack Parlour if that's what tickles you're fancy. If you want to be questiony, go nuts on the Discussion Page Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex

OK, I've donme a bit more on the BlackJack, but seeming as you're terribly busy, I won't pester you for more assistance. I've got some more templates on the way, and mapped about 20-30 hands by the end of the week. goodluck with your other stuff! And thanks for you're help -- Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 03:37, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

I'm terribly sorry. I feel like a douche for not helping after I said I would, but it's overwhelming!!! My horoscope was right, whatdya know? If there's any way I can help that doesn't involve mapping hands, I'd be glad to do so. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:45, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

5 Aug 2008 - More Sig Stuff

TO BE FILED

Do with this what you will, I'm merely here to offer you a sig tweak, to make it a little bit better if you so desire. Change the [[Image:MafiaHatBlack.gif]] to [http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/User:YesTimeToEdit/mafia/ranks http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/a/a3/MafiaHatBlack.gif], and the Image of the hat will link to the first URL (In this case the Ranks page). Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex

Got it. Thanks! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:55, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

8 Aug 2008 - Adoption?

Adoption?

Hey, I saw your message, which appeared to move and die over the course of a couple of diffs. Do you still want adoption, 'cause I'm more than willing. - [07:44 8 August] Sir FSt Don Yettie

I'm not sure... I've been here for around 3 months so I wasn't sure if I was still applicable. Am I too old to be adopted? If you don't mind, then sure, I'd like to be adopted. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 21:28, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

No one's ever too old to be adopted! I'm almost six months now, so I think I'll just be a teen parent. If you're er "down" with that (see I'm "down" with the kids) then I'll make everything offishol with the little templates. - [19:07 10 August] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Haha sure, I'm down. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:32, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

Okay you can put {{adoptee|YesTimeToEdit}} on your userpage and I'll put {{adopter|Regret Tenenbaum}} on my page. Adoption doesn't really mean anything specific, I'm just there or here to help whenever. I see you're pretty sorted with userpage, sig and talkpage...but if there's anything else, just ask. Also me and Orian sort of share adoptions, helping each other's kids. So if I'm ever away and you want a lollipop...he's the one to ask! - [19:52 10 August] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Got it! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:54, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

12 Aug 2008 - Adoption!

Adoptiony Stuff

Hey, Regret! How you doing? Do you need help/advice with/on anything? Do you want me to use/continue to use lots of forward slashes? Here we go / I did it again! I like dem slashes. Anyway, can I help you? Get you dinner, or something? And damn it, take those feet of the sofa. And sit up straight! And I really hope that's not chocolate you've got behind your back. - [08:10 12 August] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Well, I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. How are you? I only need help/advice with/on writing funny articles. I've got a few ideas, but the problem is I'm not a very good comedic writer. Dinner? Sure. Can I keep my feet on the sofa if I take my shoes off? And don't worry, that's not chocolate... tee hee hee -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:11, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Looking good. I like the Jason/Sarah one, there! If you wanna go for a collaboration...I guess I'm for that. As for pretty much everything else you said: *shudders* You worry me... - [22:18 12 August] Sir FSt Don Yettie

That's what my parents said... before they dropped me off at the orphanage ...Anyhow, do you have any ideas for the Jason/Sarah one? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:24, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

13 August 2008 - Medal!!!

Medal

Her's your medal. Whiner.

Whiner? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 07:33, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

15 Aug 2008 - Velosi-T's Sig!

You iz be winnin ze cookie!

Dude, your help with my sig was a lifesaver. Sorta. Anyway, here's your cookie. Knock yourself out. -- Velosi-T {] Screech * Vomit * Mutilations [} 20:52, 15 August 2008 (UTC)

You get a COOKIE!

You have done something. It might be good, it probably was bad, but whatever it was, you deserve a cookie for it! So here's one now, from Velosi-T, who appreciates your efforts. Knock yourself out.

---

16 Aug 2008 - Thanks from Meth, Join The UnOrder!

Thanks for the cookie

Regret Tenenbaum has won the cowbell award for "......*gasp* you gave me a cookie!", and was awarded by Meth Although it has nothing to do with what you said, at least you're thanked anyway.

And about what you asked, I'll think about it. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 19:33, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Gracias, but I was joking about the date thing, and thanks for saving me the work of filing this myself! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:36, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

I know you were, I was joking too. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 19:59, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Riiight.. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 20:05, 16 August 2008 (UTC).

Yes, right. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 23:38, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Alright. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:07, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

Join!

~ Readmesoon

17 Aug 2008 - YesTimeToVote!

UnOrder Awards

Dear Regret Tenenbaum, the monthly awards for the Unorder of Uncyclopedia are now open nomination and voting. You can nominate your fellow UnOrder Members for Weiner of the Month (UnOrder Writer of the Month), b00b of the Month (UnOrder n00b of the Month), and Recyclopedian of the Month (UnOrder Uncyclopedian of the Month). Thank you and have a nice day! ~ Readmesoon

It's BASEPAGENAME for user announcements. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 17:21, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

31 Aug 2008 - Thanks from Orian

Thanks

Rory would like to thank you for voting! "That was a smart move, kid" he says implying that anything else would not be smart and may wind you up underneath a particularly heavy doll's house. Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for on this!

Firstly your talk page is confusing! This isn't organised this is compulsivly tidy. Ans thanks for reverting taht weird IP edit. Probably someone that always thinks the article is about them. Even though mine was first, not second, person. Oh well have fun! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:17 31 August 2008

Hahaha, no problem! And, yes, it is a little strange that my talk page is so er... "compulsively tidy", but if it wasn't so, I feel like my head would explode... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 20:01, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Christ this is difficult to edit. I tried it with the little edit tab for the section then it told me that the page doesn't exist or something and I got confused. Well I'll try and follow your tidy rules from now on, although if your own head exploded you'd clean it up before you died right? I aint doing it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:31 1 September 2008

Oh grow up, Orian. You better clean the bloody mess up, because unless RT has left home yet, this is technically my house. - [10:04 1 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Of course I'd clean it up, I can't leave such a mess, it just wouldn't be right. I don't care what St. Paul says, he's gonna have to wait. Also, I'll try to find an easier way of editing these things... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 15:29, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

1 Sep 2008 - YesTimeToBeAResponsibleParent

What's This About Your School Report?

I've heard you got a B+ in English and only two A*! What is this? SOME KIND OF JOKE? On an unrelated topic, your favourite parent is back. I've been to Alcoholics Anonymous (and the Automobile Association along the way) and I've totally giving up smoking. I'm glad to tell you that I can now have sexual intercourse more than six times a day dote on you every moment of the day. So can I help you? Do you need a fag, cause I can get you one of those...I know someone who's very good at supplying "fags" (I know, I'm visiting the Pun Crimes Tribunal in Geneva tomorrow). - [08:35 1 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Sorry about the B, I tried, I really did! It's that damn Jeff, he kept on distracting me by making out with my girlfriend... Anywho, yay! Dad's not a... smoker? anymore... and yet you offer me cigs? You do mean cigarettes, right? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 15:29, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Uh, yuh, sure "cigarettes". That's what I meant. And hey, if someone's making out with your girlfriend you should torch there house and rape there mum and kill there little brother. That's what I do and it always works... Oh sorry, did I break talk etiquette by not putting that bit in ? - [15:48 1 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Dammit, I used my last torch on that alligator farm... well, I guess I can still do that raping and killing part. And I guess I'll have one of those fags while I'm at it. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 15:54, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Okay, a fag. Ohhhhhhh, Orian!! Get over here. - [16:03 1 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Yes, dearest? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:14 1 September 2008

/me is mortified... unless you do mean cigarettes after all... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 16:17, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Orian, give RT a cigarette, would you? - [16:23 1 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

*sigh... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 16:27, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

NO U! That template is fucking up our edits! I demand you change it-- /me takes a huff of meth What were we talking about? Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 23:34, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Really? How so? Did it say "This section does not exist" or something?

Who wants the long and boring explanation? - [15:29 4 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

I do! I do! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:43, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

Well, young ones. What happens is the wiki systems fuck each other a bit and then some more and then get confused. Because the edit link leads you to the &action=edit&section=1 link for the template, as they think that the section is the first section in the template. However, when they get there they are fucked, and all the vaginas gett really smalls so all the penii fall off, because there isn't a first section on the drop down template page. See? That's how they lose there special organs. - [15:37 5 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

._. i'm sorry I asked... Wikis can do it? Cool. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:32, 5 September 2008 (UTC)

Not all wikis. Just the ones that hit puberty. For example, this one. The Ghost of Methamphetamine(14:29 09-6-2008)

Woah. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:00, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

I don't know how many hit puberty and lost their virginity, I just know this one. Sire Methamphetamine! 19:43, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

ew... -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 19:58, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

YOU'RE DISGUSTING! The talk is always normal. Sire Methamphetamine! 15:09, 7 September 2008 (UTC)

3 Sep 2008 - Welcoming Mafioso

You did pretty good there!

I see you welcomed your brother (did you know that TDP is now your brother? Maybe you should go over and say hi; you could neatly tie it up wit Mafia enrolment business). However, I must say that strictly you weren't allowed to accept him (what with you being an Italian and he being in the Russian wing). So watch out for that next time. HOWEVER I did like your initiative, so let's just say the good cancels out the bad. :-) Okay, I do have a little Mafioso task for you, if you choose to accept it (depending on whether you like lead or not, I would accept it). I'd like you to help me organise this Mafia election thingy (did you see the little not about it at the bar?). I want all the big hitters rounded up and made to sign a bit of webpaper. And then I'll come along and weigh up the pros of each candidate. Thanks RT, you're a great Mafia man. - [08:32 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Actually scrap that bit about the elections. I think I've already made up my mind. How do you feel about being the new Capo Bastone's deputy (the Capo Bastone Delegato). You will have the following duties (asides from your bartending, which you could hand to another user if you wished...): accepting new users to the Family, adding them to the member list, encouraging goodly Mafia deeds, and thanking people who work for the family. Also you may recommend people for promotions (either to the Capo Bastone) or to me. You're there also to just chat with Mafioso, and help them out. You should also be the one who deals with new ideas. What do you say? - [08:52 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

If you were to ask me a week before, I would have gladly accepted, but as my user page noted, I started school today, and my personal life is starting to bog me down, you know? Also, I got a pet crab and all it does it sit there and blow bubbles. Very disappointing. So... I guess I'll have to think about it. The offer is greatly appreciated, though :D -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:17, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

Fair enough (I've started school too, grr). Do you want to recommend anyone? If not I'll extend the offer to Meth. - [15:28 4 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie