User:Kippy/awards

My Awards.

VFH

VFH awards aren't really awards at all. They're thank yous for at least signing ~~~ on the correct voting side.

Congratulations Thank you for voting on Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor. You have been awarded a meaningless template which was adapted slightly from an equally meaningless one by another user! You may now feel part of the Evolver Club, even though the writer has no idea who you are and is only giving you this so you vote for his articles again.

AHEM!

IS THIS SOME KIND OF FUCKING THANK YOU?!

You head on over to the VFH page, and notice that Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?! is no longer there. No it hasn't been stolen you fucking moron! It's simply been moved to the Main Page.
Kindly accept this offering of Jalapeño Cheddar flavored Cheetos as a personal thank you from RAHB for voting for it. Now stop viewing this template and clean the fucking carpet!

Thekillerfroggy would like to thank you for reading and enjoying (most of) his instructional Russian Roulette handbook. It's a pity you had to follow the helpful instructions right there in the bookstore. What a mess you made for the janitor! You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Oh, those Russians...

Benjamin Franklinstein User:Martinultima thanks you for being a true patriot (or something stupid like that) The VFH failed – but so what? Maybe like Franklinstein himself, it was just ahead of its time. But you supported American Democracy and voted anyway, so thanks for being a true patriot – maybe next time, we will win that Revolution, dammit! Anyway, look, before all these stupid puns kill me (and trust me, I don't want to look like him...), he sent you this nice bottle of Jolt Cola straight from his own private lab – drink at your own risk!  Megalomaniac Martin “The Unfortunately Unfeatured” Ultima • (VOTE FOR ME!) • talk • (AND MY PICS TOO!) • contribs 15:14, 11 August 2007 (UTC)

Your A Big Psychic Now!

Thank you for voting HowTo:Bend a spoon to the front page of the Uncyclopedia. With your help, we can work together and give the psychic community the acknowledgment it deserves! We accept donations! Happy Bending! We apologize for the delay in sending this thank-you message. It was transcribed and sent telepathically, and our expert telepathist has had a headache for the last week and was unable to send it properly. Did we mention we accept donations?

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:22 Aug 17, 2007

THEY TRIED TO PREVENT THIS ARTICLE FROM BEING FEATURED They failed. Let's Eat!. Those bizarre triangle-shaped dough stuff. What the hell are those anyway? Oh, and thank you for voting!

	WILSON!! WIILLSOOONN!! Hey, there he is! Anyways, The Led Balloon would like to thank you for voting on UnBooks:The Castaway.
	When you get on the raft, don't forget to bring...... Oh, never mind...

THANK YOU FOR VOTING!
You voted for Why?:Remove Your Penis on VFH, and it got featured!! As a token of our humble appreciation, you receive 75% off your next Penis Removal!
Come see us sometime, the doctor would love to meat meet you.

	Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!
	PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a nice, sturdy Wall, and hopes it well help you to hold up your ceiling very soon.
	That's what these things do, ya know. They hold up the ceiling.

Please accept this offer for supporting HowTo:Deceive people on eBay on VFH

The UnIdiot would like to award you with a authentic Kansas whale! Because apparently Kansas has oceans now! Treasure it always! Only 789,729 more left! Tell your friends! Thanks for voting on Kansas whaling!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for nuking the whales, and hopes that you will nuke the whales again with him sometime very soon.
	Remember: Fuck the hippies, nuke those whales!

The list to the left contains all the thanks you could ever need. It also contains the names of all those who voted for Under User's article shopping list. And it contains 94 other items. Perhaps you'd like to spot them if your sudoku was too easy today?

	The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again?
	Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have won a raffle for tickets to

THE DRUNK OLYMPICS!!!
Of course, when we did the raffle we were drunk, and all the other tickets except yours were spilled and blown away, but still! Congrats!

Kippy/awards Has A Lotta Class. And they could beat you up.

You voted... ...for Francis Winkler! In the name of all state-employed public educators of unstraight persuasion everywhere, thank you!

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... It is a period of Galactic unrest. Star Wars was nominated for VFH, but nearly failed, thanks to the efforts of the evil lord Darth Vader. However, during the nomination, Princess Prince TheLedBalloon managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, he races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

I can't believe it finally got featured, either. Thanks for voting!

There you go son! It's now your turn to take the good ol' family wooden condom. It's been in my family for years, passed through the generations. Slip it on boy, its your's now! Wear it with pride! The UnIdiot would like to thank you for voting his article to the front page!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

SHOW ME YOUR TITS! Thanks for voting my tits to the front page. -Zana Dark

SON OF A BITCH. I... just... Christ. Thanks for voting for HowTo:Mail a Letter to the first featured article of 2008. Maybe I'll just call you next time. a friendly message from your local post office.

You are presented with one (1) package of Red Baron French Bread PizzaTM for your vote for that article involving flying things.. Please note that Red Baron microwaveable pizzasTM may cause loss of altitude or engine failure.

Monthly nonsense

This text is written in off-white, as opposed to white. It may be difficult to read, and you may have to strain you eyes or cheat and highlight it with your cursor to read it. CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! Thanks for voting for UnNews:White House discovered to be off-white!

Pfft, only a n00b would try this! Remember, you voted for me because I did this better than any other n00b on the site! Please accept this poorly made template! No, its all we have! GO AWAY! Thanks for voting for The UnIdiot!

The UnIdiot wood like u 2 no thay reeding hells you improd u're readding nd wrting! Weeding is fund! Thanks for voting on UnNews:Studies show people who read are better at reading

GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop.

Cookies

Ye Olde Luke has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

User:Thekillerfroggy has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Christmas/Winter holiday

The Gifts of the Uncyclopedians.

Bonner would like to wish you a Merry Christgame And a happy New Game P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk)

I just wanted to wish yew a faggy christmas! I mean... merry. Be sure to keep on dipping those kips! Honest, I meant merry! ~Fag x FS

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

ARE YOU PREPARED? SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN. WE ADVISE YOU TAKE PRECAUTIONS. TAKE HEED. TAKE NOTICE. TAKE COVER. a friendly message from your local Santa Awareness Bureau.

	HEY LOSER! Here's another semi-personalized (that's a lie) Merry Christmas template to add to the overwhelming pile you've got building up on your talk page right now. Have a Merry Christmas, or I'll come over there and make you have a Merry Christmas.
	If you don't already have a pile of these building up, you're a hopeless loser that nobody on Uncyclopedia likes...sorry. Yours truly, RAHB

Merry Christmas! or whatever it is you new-fangled Christians do at this time of year. From Rabbi Techno

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

Miscellaneous

Chuck Norris likes this article. Editing or deleting this page will result in terminal roundhouse kicking!!!

Anti-awards

This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately.

- from Insineratehymn