Talk:Kitten Huffing

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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to Kitten Huffing.
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suggested for addition[edit]

kittyswallow.jpg I'd add this myself, but the topic is locked it seems --Kastein 23:30, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

I was just about to suggest adding the very same image!! Found it on Digg, this is actually real hahahaha -- 05:41, 24 February 2009 (UTC)


If this page is going to be locked, please, please, PLEASE can someone with half a brain fix the grammatical and spelling errors? I would have done it myself, except, you know, the page is locked.

-I was going to write something similar but this guy said it all. Locking a page full of errors is pretentious and stupid. I was starting to think this site was a good idea, but now I see it's yet another ego trip for a bunch of ignorant, socially inept nerds. – Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk • contribs)

Not funny[edit]

This article used to be actually funny. What happened? 23:56, 24 April 2008 (UTC)

I agree, this article now sucks. 12:02, 13 February 2009 (UTC)


The following is a quote from Wikipedia ( : "Golden hamsters and cats have scent glands on their flanks, and deposit scent by rubbing their sides against objects; cats also have scent glands on their foreheads." maybe thats what f's you up so much.

Russian kitten huffing community[edit]

For the external links section: The most common caption is "time to take your medicine..." Arlekino 17:19, 9 December 2007 (UTC)


uhh the yelling preparation video is too much.... someone delete it?

Japanese kitten huffing[edit]

Yeah, uhh, someone should stick this either in this article or the Japan one

That's almost sexy.. Repku 21:39, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

wtf, the bottom right one is nasty. -- neoEva88 MUN F@H PS CM NS (

This image can be found at I think the site should be linked in the external links section.

Dude, that IS sexy.-- 11:15, 11 May 2009 (UTC)


Kitten huffing is sick! Whoever wrote this article was a very cruel person and needs some mental help. I can't even believe this is a featured article. You people are gross.

oh noes! :( (please leave, fag.) 21:46, 21 September 2006 (UTC)
You guys are complete nutters... Ashlee Matthews 00:36, 9 March 2007 (UTC)
Hey, don't bash it until you try it. Think of it as putting them out of their misery. And I can guarantee if they were regular cats, you wouldn't have a problem. Only because they're young, delicate, and cute, are you angry. Which is why nobody would ever give a flying fuck if you tried to huff an emu. Mrthejazz 21:53, 21 September 2006 (UTC)
I agree with the person above. besides, This isn't real, by the way.Majinandrew
I don't care if this is real or not some is gonna try it.You do realize in order to get a picture of it what does someone have to do (I'll try not to overload your brain on this one)(you might say no one is that stupid but don't ever underestimate the stupidity of mankind) The only sane person here

Correct Units for Kittens[edit]

Kittens are sold on the street in cubic furlongs. (fur)^3 Best home drug tests Can we add this by the Hoff pic? MichaelJacksonKittenHuff.jpg

Another good image[edit]

Jgsniffingcat.jpg Jgafterhuff.jpg No idea how to incorporate it, but someone please do so.

damn man, nice image! George VI 01:01, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

I love the stern looking woman in the background. 18:26, 27 May 2006 (UTC)
I like the top image but the bottom one's flat out lame... In fact, it's almost as lame as the name I use to sign Talk pages Grand Master Ninja Repku-sama 18:47, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Found a good image[edit]

I just found this image of a kitten huffer. kirk_eating_kitten.jpg if you want to use it contact the artist, he's a Farker so he'll probably allow it. I just found it, I didn't Gimp it.

I tried huffing my cat. I didn't get a buzz, but my cat did freak out and scratch me, which was fun. -- 22:52, 16 Jan 2006 (UTC)

I sure do love huffing them kittens!

damn dude those kittens get you so fuckin high. i swear my penis grows by at least nine feet when i do it!!111!

hairless kittens are the cats meow when it comes to huffing. You want the ultimate right?

wtf "What's the origin of the myth that cats can suck the breath out of babies?"

This one's actually from a newspaper. It made me think of this article. 264.jpg

Featured @ LinkFilter[edit]

--- I'd like to point out that one of the images on this page is clearly that of Kitten Snorting an altogether different practise with similar effects. Someone should write an article on kitten sniffing and place the image their and/or find a good image of kitten huffing. --Teknorat 21:45, 9 Jul 2005 (UTC) ---

I'd like to mention that this is a really fucking sorry attempt at humor.

I agree! I think the creator should be lynched! --Metaphysical 17:15, 21 Jul 2005 (UTC)
What the hell is wrong with you two? This page is freakin' hilarious and incredibly creative.
No, I agree with Metaphysical. We keep deleting crap like this, and it keeps coming back. It's right time we started banning people who write shit like this. God, it's like people think we're Wikipedia or something. --Bone F clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 21:51, 23 Sep 2005 (UTC)

I agree.--Alfred 00:39, 5 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Dude - Kitten Huffing ROCKS!

I disagree with Metaphysical. On the main ground that it's Not real. If it were, it'd be sick, and probably rather dangerous, but it's not, so it's it not.


i think its extreamly funny. kudos to you. also people should learn how to take a joke.

Added a link[edit]

put in a picture of the first ever known kitten huffer. take it down if you don't like it, but i think it's funny.

I like it. He's got that wide-eyed, vacant expression typical of huffing junkies. --Rcmurphy KUN 14:24, 12 Aug 2005 (UTC)

There is no mention of Ariana Huffington and her kitten addiction. 14:20, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

Who's been fucking with the article[edit]

Someone just removed half the article! What the fuck¡?

Looks like Gwax deleted all the stupid crap, and left most of the good stuff. I fully support this move, as it was long overdue. In addition, shouldn't you be asking about the "iFuck", not the "fucki"? The latter sounds Japaneese, the former sounds sleek and chic. And we all know that sleek and chic scores pussy. Bone F clear.png Sir Famine, Gun Petition » 19:42, 23 February 2006 (UTC)

The new Apple iFuck...coming out this Christmas. It'll be competing against the Microsoft SeXBox ~ --Resister 16:44, 11 April 2007 (UTC)

The iFuck shall win. Obviously. It isn't Apple that gives out bee sods, now is it? Bill Gates should fix that. --Don't click here! I need to work on that page. (Like, now. Hm.) 15:46, May 25, 2011 (UTC)

WTF happened to the Non-Huffable Kitten?[edit]

The article links to [[Non-Huffable Kitten]], an essentially non-existent page. The stub's log shows that the article has been moved to User:Ratmaster/Non-Huffable Kitten, but the link here cannot be corrected, because this page is protected.

Ironically I think it got huffed (for a really lame reason if I recall correctly). I'm just glad the page still exists somewhere. It was one of the better pages, it even had it's own user boxes and templates.

This article is more of an UnBooks candidate[edit]

This article tells us how to huff kittens rather than uncyclopedic information. - 03:26, 21 April 2006

  • No, this article is one of uncyclopedia's all-time classics. Well done for trying to help though. Spang talk 20:30, 6 May 2006 (UTC)

Additional links ?[edit]

Is there any room lest to add the various kitty huffing related articles ? MadMax 20:23, 6 May 2006 (UTC)

Kitten Huffing in the news![edit]

Check out this News24 article! This sick bastard just took it way too far. Goes to show, in Russia, kittens don't always huff YOU! Or maybe... this guy was just pissed off after being huffed.

Dude! What the hell was wrong with that guy? I think we should add that as one of the dangers to kitten huffing, and site it as a source! Somebody go do that. I'm too lazy. Supermariorobot 20:31, 5 June 2006 (UTC)

I tried it, nothing happens[edit]

maybe the cat i tried was bad quality, idk :-(

-- you should try a orange one, that will fuck you up REAL good :)

could someone add the jesus loves this article tag?[edit]

could someone add the jesus loves this article tag? i think it deserves it

  • there's a spelling mistake (huufs), can it be corrected? Roygbiv666 14:54, 6 June 2006 (UTC)

Spelling Goof[edit]

"forth" should be "fourth" in section "The Huffing Bowl Approach"

-- the masked spelling nazi

Do we really need those templates?[edit]

Yeah... you heard me... Do we actually need those templates... who cares if it has a lot of images... everyone likes kittens. And if you don't your a horrable horrable person.

And i don't get the CRIMETHINK one.... i know, i could just be lame. SpookyPiggie08 17:39, 23 July 2006 (UTC)

I vote yes to that, I am actually drawn to an article that is a dirty image whore. --Psychiccyberfreak 21:57, 20 November 2006 (UTC)

Storage of Kittens[edit]

Why is there no mention of Bonsai Kittens? Grow and store them, in fun shapes.A nice pasttime to do with your kids, before they get into kitten huffing. This way, if your kids do huff, they'll at least know how to take care of their kittens. I don't know if the Bonsai Kittens page is still up, though, but I think more information can come from the Bonsai Kitten Society.


The article currently states (in the section on "Relation to Chicken Huffing") that kittens are not related to chickens. This is not true: kittens and chickens are in fact fourth cousins twice removed, on the hens' side, and second cousins four times removed on the roosters' side. This can be easily proven: observe that both "kittens" and "chickens" contain the letter k and end in the syllable ens. Please remedy the article accordingly. —Joe Kavalier 22:09, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Im fucked up from dis shit man what do i do man people are dieing from kitten huffing in New Zealand man!!!!!! God this shit is godly shit damb kitten huffing should be a worldwide affair


Portuguese Desciclopédia

[[pt:Cheiramento de gatinhos]]

pt:Cheiramento de gatinhos

I have found a new method of huffing kittens![edit]

1. Find your kitty of choice.

2.Compress with strips of licquorice and other candy in a baking tray, one shaped like a large butter tray perhaps, bake for approximately 5 minutes, just to enough to warm the kitty up and compress it.

3. Huff using the rear ended, one handed technique.

Huffing a kitty loaf one handed.

Users report that the effect is a smoother, longer trip, and the comedown is equally better than other current methods. Perhaps this the only way to safely huff an arnie kitten?

I feel this deserves to be placed in the original article, as it is an issue of importance.

--SpamJavelin 01:28, 17 September 2006 (UTC)

Feel free to include it, But don't add any more images please. --Atomsk.gif Kaizer the Bjorn takkun Nya? (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 04:00, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

I haven't created an account yet, so I can't edit this myself, but "poping" should be "popping" in the section on "Undesirable Effects of Kitten Huffing". </nitpick> --CompHobbyist 18:38, 25 September 2006 (EDT)

over use of celebrity jokes[edit]

Yeah.. the title says it all... I think there's a overuse of celebrity jokes (hasselhoff, mj, arnie.. ect ect...). It should be more about hiffing kittens than just mindlessly talking about famous people. Yes, i know this was a actual suggestion, don't hate me. But since people started putting those in, it's gotten less funny.

Street Names for Kitten Huffing[edit]

Street Names for Kitten Huffing

Traditional Names[edit]

Kitten, Kit, Kat, Kit-Kat, K, The real K, Special-k, Riding the K Train, Allergy, The Sneeze, The Fuzz, Scratch, Pussy, Pussy-Galore, Octopussy, The Muff you Huff, Claw, Put the Cat Inside, Cream in a Saucer, Rough Tongue, Puddy, Nose Tickler, Fat Kat(high grade kitten), Alley Kat (low grade kitten), Siamese please, Tiger in my tank, The Roar, Meow, Purr, The Hiss, Pijamas (as in "The Cats Pijamas), Catnip, Nip, Neko, Gato, Socks, Hitler, Feline fantasy

Kitten Blends[edit]

Kit-n-Kabootle (cutting Kitten with Cocaine), Jamacian me Katty (rolling a mairjuana joint with kitten inside), Angelpie (PCP and Kitten), Hairball (A mix of cocaine, heroin, and kitten), Cheetah (A mix of kitten and speed), Wet Pussy (Kitten in a bong)

Kitty Flippin (Kittens and Mushrooms), Kitty Trippin (Kittens and Acid), Meow Mixer (Any type of downer mixed with Kittens), Kitty Treats (feeding the kitten pain killers before inhaling the kitten)

Kitten-related Dealers[edit]

Crazy Cat Lady(A Kitten dealer), Kitty Litter (A Kitten House, simmilar to a Crack House), Cat House (a location known for prostitiution and kittens), Lion's Den (A Kitten Dealer's residence), Cat Crate (a kitten smuggler).


Kitten Huffing??????? OMGWTFBBQ! -- 03:07, 20 October 2006 (UTC)

Why was it featured twice?[edit]

Explain. --L

My guess is that the old featured version and the new one are significantly different enough that they could be considered two articles. Or maybe that's the flu talking, but still... --Ж Kalir hippies! yay! 05:04, 5 November 2006 (UTC)
Here is the answer in case anyone else wants it. --Sir Zombiebaron 02:01, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

i think you all are a bunch of fucked up people![edit]

I know you'll go to hell for this! your sick in the head! i think you are a bunch of losers who in the fuck thinks of this kind of shit and who ever thinks its funny should go suck a fat dick and choke on iT!!!!!!!!!

Calm down. Relax. Now go breathe and hit this link. Do so until you find something funny. You don't have to look at this page. Alt-F4 solves many problems, young one. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 00:33, 14 November 2006 (UTC)
Why is it always the illiterate homophobes who are the angry ones? --Ж Kalir hippies! yay! 04:21, 28 November 2006 (UTC)
They tend to be the religious ones... Tomtyke 04:29, 28 November 2006 (UTC)

Alice in Wonderland - A psychedelic exploration of the Kitten Huffer's Mind[edit]

Has anyone ever noticed that at the start of Alice in Wonderland, Alice is not merely accompanied by a kitten, but an orange kitten?

It is clear, therefore, that Alice in Wonderland is in fact a documentary produced by hardcore Kitten Huffers to educate the unwashed masses. Additionally, the orange ones act as a catalyst for teleportation into a magical universe full of old perverts in silly hats and failed playboy models.

It can be hypothisised that the original Huffers who created this movie have found a way to exist permanently in the Kittyverse. I would like to request a grant to research this probability and any related medical or military applications, for example: Sliding a homicidal playing card under the frnt door of that whore who turned me down for the Prom way back when so it can beat the blonde out of her.

-- 19:45, 29 December 2006 (UTC)

Huffing template[edit]

I created a template and a category on Huffing Template:Huffing. Please add the template to this article. -- 13:20, 31 December 2006 (UTC)

Last paragraph[edit]

This article was swell until I got to the last paragraph. I thought it was a hairball, but it turns out to be some lame-ass dick who tried to get the last word. Take it out please, and maybe I'll vote for this article again. Denni 01:18, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Similarity with the cats-sucking-babies'-breath myth[edit]

I (and at least one other person) have noticed unintentional similarity between Uncyclopedia's official first (and therefore most sacred) article and this urban myth. The obvious dichotomy (adult human/feline inhales from an infant feline/human) between the two ideas is unignorable! And yet the Uncyclopedia article is bereft of any references to it! I desire this comedy deficiency to be rectified post-haste. --L 15:27, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

This story would indeed make a fine addition to the article. Ala "every time a kitten masturbates, God kills a human." Nice find! --Medvedev (scream)Grue_Jammy.gif 16:29, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

Something's Missing[edit]

What happened to the kitten huffing step "Ride the snake. Don't fight it. You feel'n that shit yet? JEAAAAAAAAAAAH!"? I don't laugh out loud often, but that LMAOed me. --Got Milk? 16:50, 14 February 2007 (UTC)

Agreed! I am also missing the old english quote that someone had in there. That was some funny stuff! I keep thinking of the quote in my head and the end of it was something like, "And also, thy orange ones fucketh thy up massive!" Or something like that.

Possible Risks and Negative Effects[edit]

I am really concerned about this article. Kitten-Huffing can't be only described positively. Think of children, teenagers or elder people (which means old fucktards), who accidentally swallow a fat kitten or several smaller cats at once. Moreover, two of my brothers died in an attempt to "huff'em all". It all started with a tiny little kittykat, all nice and easy. They developed a Kitten-Huffing addiction and after a while they were in this whole swamp of crime and kitten abuse. My elder brother lost his position in the White House and started calling himself "Kuffer", which is an abbreviation for Kitten Huffer, pronounced "Cougher", you can imagine how that name became reality, when he died in hospital after having mistaken one nurse and a doctor for giant Felicidae. The other brother chose to "huff the rough stuff" and was killed by a pride of lions, which he was supposed to sniff.

Please inform your readers about the actual problems of abusive Kitten-Huffing.

And don't let youself get fooled by George W. Bush and his propaganda campaign, in which he accused Saddam Hussein of having opposed Kitten-Huffing. He only wants the oil, so he can have his kitten fried without leaving some to the people.

- A concerned citizen

An image I found[edit]

I found this image and thought it would fit this article. Not sure exactly how it could be put in, but hey... muhralguhehe.png

It just shows that they know its good for them. GreaterShrew 13:35, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Awww, he's saying "Huff me!" --Frog 17:55, 8 August 2008 (UTC)


Waahh. Artickle locky preventy edity.

Please correct the erroroneous statement that the Cat-holic Church banned kitten huffing. How could they possibly have banned the foundation of their faith?

Yours as sincerely as ever, A. Moron Hoo Doesn't Visit Here Very Often & (his brother) Thus Doesn't No The Correct Protocol For These Fings. 0


james made a feautured article? congrats. but wasnt kitten huffing, and baby snatching, evans idea?

Does George Bush Huff Kittens?[edit]


I really need to know. --concerned parent.

Infant Huffing[edit]

This should be in see also.

Lets all kill ourselves.


Do people really smoke cats?

Yes. I'm doing it right now. --Aljolson.jpg Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER Aljolson.jpg 15:57, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

How does one Masterbate?[edit]

I was sure it was spelled "Masturbate", but who can really tell. Of course, if we were talking about Catsturbating... but even then... oh how i wish i could edit...

See Famous Kitten Huffers: Jack Thompson.

GreaterShrew 13:41, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

For the "preparation/yelling at the kitten" section. Note: this is the proper technique.

Awesome image; not sure about fair use[edit]

I found the following really awesome drawing of kitten huffing, but am not sure how one would go about getting the rights to add it to this article. Ideas?


harry enfeild[edit] good video was on b4 don't know y deleted ignore if good reason

I like the video but i think they removed it because it was a bit long and now there is a gift image of it.--Freezing Aquamarine 01:08, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Italian version[edit]

We have added this article as well, as you can see here. Put the link on the page if you please. -- 11:29, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

found a pic of a monkey huiffing a kitten[edit]


More than one type of kitten.[edit]

Just to mention that baby rabbits are also called kittens. Perhaps this exotic variation could be mentioned for the more refined kitten huffers looking for something a little different. :p

In Soviet Russia kitten huffs YOU! :0 02:17, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Edit request[edit]

I have made a place called, put it in!

C'mon Uncyclopedia[edit]

Are you guys shitting me? I have to say that this article is overrated. You know, if you want to talk about pussies so much then say you are, don't stick some cat in your mouth and say its innuendo.

This article is teh old (2005), back when Uncyclopedia sucked more than it does now. Not every article is a 2007-8 article, you know, which is when we actually started getting good at writing.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 02:59 May 09, 2008
This is the article with innuendo.--Phantom-Lord 16:36, 26 July 2008 (UTC)

Edit request: "Types of huffs" (typo fix)[edit]

The Huff types section contains the misspelling "phychedelic". Unless the psychedelic effects are only encountered by Ethernet PHYs, this needs to be fixed.

Edit request: Delete Humane vs Inhumane huffing section.[edit]

This section is just a big mess of spelling and grammar mistakes. It's not really very funny either.

Typo in "Where to find kittens"[edit]

"Where to find kittens" talks about "octopi" [sic]. The English plural of octopus is octopuses, while the Greek/Latin plural is octopoda (since it is not actually Latin, but Greek). -- 17:08, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Orange ones[edit]

The orange ones are said to be huffable in the "Best Generic kittens to huff" section. Fixed it. Vader1941 15:27, 21 February 2009 (UTC)Vader1941

Kitten Huffing makes news IRL[edit]

OMG! This is so REAL. kittyswallow.jpg -- 13:45, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

It's also from here: -- 13:46, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

Not for kids[edit]

Ok, thats one really good article that made me laugh big time... But in my humble onion opinion, it is not safe for kids... Believe me, if a kid reads it, he/she may actually believe there is a real "kitten huffing" thing and it may haunt his/here mind for the rest of his/her life and I bet mine that some kids -not going to say fully grown ups- have actually proceeded with those "instructions" on their own kitties... What I mean is that we need at least 20 boxes distributed over the article to say CLEARLY that the whole thing is a joke..

I think the fact that it's on uncyclopedia speaks for itself.

Manowar are not gay. Main Metal Tank 17:40, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Life Imitates...Uncyclopedia.[edit]

It's all fun and games until a real kitten gets huffed! 22:33, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

A new threat on the rise[edit]

Kitten Smoking. 16:35, 3 March 2009 (UTC)[edit]

Add to the references.. Vishvax 06:22, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Beer Bong Huffing[edit]

the step 2. "put at the top the beer bong device" should be changed to something relating to getting the kitten drunk.