PlayStation 5
 | This article needs to be EXPANDED |
PlayStation 5 is defunct piece of nonsense good for paying exorbitant prices for and then smashing for fun. Therefore PlayStation 5 need go commit seppuku. PlayStation 6 surpass it in excerrence and cruelty and everything else.
Nothing to see here
Seriously, you kiddies (and 30-year-old babies still living in mama-san's basement) still here? Go play on PS6! The forever system! It's so much better than this hunk-o-junk! Sony has pay me to come from Japan to warn you guys scram from this forbidden article about-ah forbidden subject-
sigh Fine. I teach you about how failed this console really is! And don't be surplise if I start saying bad word eithah!
The truth
Okay, contrary to what you see, the awesome system you know as the PS5 is really PS6! The true PS5 was failed experiment in Virtual Reality gaming. Once hailed as-ah most awesomest innovation EVER during deveropment, test subjects went crazy because VR rook and sound so real, cause them jump out of tarr building thinking they Spider-Man and go splat, jump in front of highway vehicles thinking they American foot-a-ball playa, not knowing they're not in rear life! Playing against 18-wheerer truck thinking they running from sumo wrestler or whatever fatty American foot-a-barr prayer instead no funny! Many test subject dead from get smash by a truck!
Knowing consequences, Sony no want get sued by sue-happy American customer! Therefore, development on VR Pray-Stationg 5 discontinued by Sony. VR game system no cheap to deverop, you know?? Also, stupid Mark Zuckerberg still make Ocurus Quest for Meta, rook where it got em. PS6 then get develop, now best PlayStation ever! That system get sold as PS5, real PS5 is failure! Go! Scram! Go buy PS6!
More truth. The Covid truth
Stirr here? Okay, I terr you kids one last story about what happens with good marketing in shit situation.
Due to Chinese conspiracy for-ah bankrupt Japan that affect whole world as werr, Sony no have game deveroper in rabs, prus China no have worker in factoly. All Sony have is tons of PlayStation 5 VR failure just sitting around in factory! Marketing team come up with brilliant idea. Having kidnap marketing people from American fruit computer company, Sony devise way to serr off useress PS5 shells just sitting in factoly, pump it up as best thing evar! Rittle did stupid customers know these so-call PS5 worse than repackaged PS4. It ritterally wi-fi box or space heater! Just with some unknown VR capabirity, dumbass customer no able turn on due to Sony lock it! Company lawyer also sneak in "no refunds" poricy into contlact, stupid dumbass customer also no read 99.9 percent of time, therefore unable to sue! Thererfore, 99.9 percent of custermer so angry, they Falcon Punch (oops, that Nintendo reference) go God of War Ragnorok on worthless shell after paying millions of dollar for it! Sony still scam customer of money! HAHAHA!
Now go buy PS6, rittle kiddies. Seriousry, go steal parents credit card or Venmo account and pay so we can addict you to game forever.