ZX Spectrum

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A prototype of ZX Spectrum being tested..

“ZX Spectrum will pave quick setting concrete on the determined path to explosive, highly technical effective laser weaponry.”

~ Captain Exaggeration on ZX Spectrum

“I thought my AK47 was meant for this”

~ Mikhail kalashnikov on ZX Spectrum

The ZX Spectrum was a gigantic laser weapon, originally designed to obliterate a country the size of Canada. Invented by Fred Dibnah and Donald Trump in the 80's, the ZX Spectrum was a deadly project commissioned by the government of Mediocre Britain.

The weapon[edit | edit source]

The ZX Spectrum was a formidable weapon. Although it was intended to wipe out a country the size of Canada, budget constraints meant that the eventual weapon was only able to destroy a small Welsh village. Built from a cassette player and components from a Betamax video player, along with parts from several steam engines, and a picture of Eve Arden, the weapon was crude, but effective, relying on commands loaded from a cassette player. Whilst it took ten minutes to load a simple command, this was ample time.

The ZX Spectrum seen in action.

Development[edit | edit source]

Although the weapon was invented by Fred Dibnah, the original design was improved greatly by MacGyver, who was able to add a few switches that made the weapon look much cooler, and change the colour of the laser at the flick of a switch. Whilst this didn't affect the power of the weapon, it did make the destruction process much prettier. The shimmering change of colours made the public of Mediocre Britain much more receptive to the ZX Spectrum.

Use[edit | edit source]

The weapon was only used once, on a small, unnamed Welsh village following a fight in a pub. Following the carnage, the incident hasn't been mentioned in public much, and Dibnah committed suicide after being distraught that his weapon had been used to kill so many sheep. MacGyver downplayed his involvement in the project, and instead focused his efforts on fighting parasitic aliens in space.

The future[edit | edit source]

The ZX Spectrum is thought to have been made redundant with the introduction of CD players. The original weapon is being stored in a secret location at 32 Oxford Street in London. It is thought that the weapon may be brought out of hiding to be used in a future war against Scotland.

See also[edit | edit source]