Portal:Literature
The Literature Portal
As the generally accepted definition of literature today hugs folktales to its warm bosom, we might well conclude that literature began with one frightened caveman grunting (see language) his fears to his fellows by firelight. This, however, would be wrong. Scurrying, short and bitter academics in dank bare cells have clinically proven that 'literature' is caused by writing down things which never happened and which afflict the reader with acute boredom , in some cases literally boring the victim to death.
Today, the study of literature remains a major academic discipline at nearly every educational institution around the world, often being the most heavily required class for graduation. This is because academics have declared that finding themes (which the author totally intended to put in the work) is far more important than learning first aid, basic home and auto repair, or how to do your taxes. However, there is one major benefit to the study of literature: without it, as many as half of the jokes in your favorite TV shows would fly right over your head. (Full article...)
Why is book? Because book good. If you don't book, you won't good. Book make you good at yes. Grammar make good writing. Write is good so you can make more book. Book good. Make others read book. Book make good write at book. I rest my case. (Full article...)
Highlighted Articles
Is this pointless? |
As with almost all paradoxes (paradoxii?) the Pointless Paradox is an apparently true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition or logic. In the case of the Pointless Paradox this is doubly so, making this a paradox within a paradox. Why I'm wasting my time telling you this I just don't know, nor do I care. See Nobody cares for more information.
Some of the greatest minds in history, from Immanuel Kant to Bertrand Russell to James Bond have attempted to resolve this paradox with no success. Indeed, Russell referred to it as "'the motherbitch of all paradoxes'".
The pointless paradox debate has been running for centuries and centres on a discussion between Man and the paradox itself. It goes something like this:
“ | MAN: I refuse to believe that you are a pointless paradox. If you truly are, prove it. | ” |
Archive | Article credit: MrN9000 | (more ) |
Come across a decent article on literature? Well, make sure you wipe it clean, pervert. Then submit it for promotion.
Literary News
Thompson at the peak of his powers. |
In a surprising move, acclaimed American author and journalist Hunter S. Thompson has admitted to taking banned drugs at the peak of his career. Thompson, who died in 2005, finally admitted to ingesting a potentially lethal cocktail of banned substances during the late 1960s and "pretty much all of" the 1970s - the period many acknowledge as the peak of his achievements - during a post-mortem interview with our UnNews reporters.
During the period in question, Thompson wrote the series of books that made his name, and most critics agree he "knocked them right out of the park."…
Archive | Article credit: Under user | (more...) |
Additional 'Referandom'
- UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care
- UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting
- UnBooks:Humpty Dumpty and the Space-Time Continuum
- UnBooks:The Scary Story Of The Scary Scottish Scotsman
- UnBooks:I Know This Isn't Fair Girl, But, Your Foot Odor Has Driven Us apart. We Have To Break Up.
- UnBooks:Luck of the Irish
- UnBooks:Diary of a banned user
- UnBooks:How to Make Shitty BASIC programs
- UnBooks:The Case of the Quagga of Kuala Lumpur
- UnScripts:The UnUsual Suspects
- UnScripts:Deepak Chopra and James Cameron Teach Home Appliance Repair
- UnScripts:Dora the Explorer: The Movie
- UnScripts:Waiting For Godot 2: Waiting With A Vengeance
- UnScripts:The cannibal, the necrophile and the coprophagist
- UnBooks:Edgeville: Scrap Yard Dog
- UnScripts:Man Struggles to Explain Anal Sex to Son
- Don't forget to check out the Theatre Portal.
Highlighted Biography
Everyone's favourite horror writer and hilarious racist. |
How the man known as Howard Phillips Lovecraft came to have an Uncyclopedia entry written about him is a fact of whose blasphemous origins we shall never be privileged to know. That it is written at all is miracle enough, for we live on a placid island of literacy in the midst of black seas of slobbering idiocy and it was not meant that we should use a spellcheck. The great unwashed, each mashing their keyboards in the darkness of their parents’ basements, have hitherto harmed us little in our blissful ignorance; but perhaps their random effusions have now conspired to create an article of whose utter, brain-blasting idiocy will send us screaming to our nearest Webster’s (or at least mildly tick us off).…
Archive | Article credit: Ben DeRoy | (more...) |
Highlighted Articles
I am a coal-truck
|
Poem of the Week
{{{caption}}} |
my friend Big Joe and I
walked into a bar
and Joe said
"man, you can't swing a bag of dicks in
here without hitting
some pretentious asshole"
I laughed at his
little jape
Archive | Article credit: HELPME | (more ) |
Further Reading
Below is a list of some other stuff vaguely connected to literature:
Oscar Wilde Quote
Other portals
Portals complement main topics in Uncyclopedia that nobody cares about, and expand upon topics that nobody cares even less about.
-
Art
Peak pretentiousness -
Business
Money, money, money! -
Comedy
The science of funny -
Culinary
Food for the soul -
Film
Enter the Matrix -
Games
Recess time -
Gay
A gay ol' time -
Geography
Get lost -
History
Factually wrong -
Literature
Literally illiterate -
Internet
A series of tubes -
Music
Rock on! -
Politics
Politically incorrect -
People
The people's portal -
Religion
Speak of the Devil -
Science
Playing to be God -
Society
We live in one -
Technology
Breaking stuff easier -
Television
Turn your brain off -
Theatre
To be or not to be -
Video Games
Better than sex -
Zoology
Beware of furries -
Portals
The Portals portal -
Community
The Community -
Main Page
The Uncyclopedia