Portal:Literature

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De Leeteratur Portul
Criticbook.jpg

As the generally accepted definition of literature today hugs folktales to its warm bosom, we might well conclude that literature began with one frightened caveman grunting (see language) his fears to his fellows by firelight. This, however, would be wrong. Scurrying, short and bitter academics in dank bare cells have clinically proven that 'literature' is caused by writing down things which never happened and which afflict the reader with acute boredom , in some cases literally boring the victim to death.

Today, the study of literature remains a major academic discipline at nearly every educational institution around the world, often being the most heavily required class for graduation. This is because academics have declared that finding themes (which the author totally intended to put in the work) is far more important than learning first aid, basic home and auto repair, or how to do your taxes. However, there is one major benefit to the study of literature: without it, as many as half of the jokes in your favorite TV shows would fly right over your head. (Full article...)


Why is book? Because book good. If you don't book, you won't good. Book make you good at yes. Grammar make good writing. Write is good so you can make more book. Book good. Make others read book. Book make good write at book. I rest my case. (Full article...)

Feeturd Articel
Shown and portrayed here, Lord Redund.

Redundancy is the unnecessary use of either needless, tautological, pleonastic, superfluous or unnecessary text, by which one repeats, in duplication, the same, identical, aforesaid things over and over and over and over and over again, beyond what would be needed or required to explain, or make comprehensible, the intended or signified meaning of that which one wishes, or wants, to put across and convey. These things can be and most likely will be referred to as being redundant. Usually, it is often common in redundancy to repeat, sometimes with different phrasing or words, the same idea or reasoning, thus restating one's thoughts, sometimes paraphrasing oneself and effectively saying the same thing twice, or double, or thrice, or three times, triply so or treble of, or a small handful of times, or any number of excessive, unnecessary restatements greater than zero (none).

Feeturd Imag
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I am a coal-truck
by a broken heart
I have no sound
the sound of my heart
I am not

Poem off da Wik
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my friend Big Joe and I

walked into a bar

and Joe said

"man, you can't swing a bag of dicks in

here without hitting

some pretentious asshole"


I laughed at his

little jape

Selectd Biograffie
HP Lovecraft.jpg
Everyone's favourite horror writer and hilarious racist.

How the man known as Howard Phillips Lovecraft came to have an Uncyclopedia entry written about him is a fact of whose blasphemous origins we shall never be privileged to know. That it is written at all is miracle enough, for we live on a placid island of literacy in the midst of black seas of slobbering idiocy and it was not meant that we should use a spellcheck. The great unwashed, each mashing their keyboards in the darkness of their parents’ basements, have hitherto harmed us little in our blissful ignorance; but perhaps their random effusions have now conspired to create an article of whose utter, brain-blasting idiocy will send us screaming to our nearest Webster’s (or at least mildly tick us off).…

Archive Article credit: Ben DeRoy (more...)
In da Neeus
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"Holy shit, an UnNews reporter and comedic god actually watched my piss poor excuse for a show?..."

NEW YORK CITY, New York -- Jon Stewart, comedian news reporter for the Daily Show, has apparently plagiarized an UnNews column wrote on the 14th of June, titled UnNews:Obama rewards terrorists. Stewart's piece, titled "Guantanamo Baywatch - Uighur, Please", was a thinly veiled remake of the article already appearing on the awarding winning UnNews.

Charges of plagiarism are serious, and outside opinions usually sought, even in obvious cases. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd was asked for her opinion, she being an expert in plagiarism.…

Archive Article credit: Clemens177 (more...)
Oscur Wyld Quot
Be warned in time, James, and remain, as I do, incomprehensible: to be great is to be misunderstood.
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