K-pop
K-pop is a form of torture used by the Government. It consists of screaming created in North Korea by their Capitalist - Propaganda Unit in 1,000,000 AD. It is well-known that K-pop stars are all robots used to sell me antidepressants such as guns and butter knives. Over its extremely long period of time, Kpop has changed significantly for the worse.
K-pop is currently bad and is expected to get worse in the coming years.
Origin[edit | edit source]
ignore all of this, this is just false, K-pop is bad
K-pop originated in Korea around 1,000,000 BC by seraphs. They attempted to imitate the noises of the heavenly angels singing above, but could only capture a lesser sound which soon was recognised as one of the most cuntiest pieces of music on Earth.
K-pop underwent a great change when seraphs were replaced by humans in 100,000 BC. They however didn't know how to talk so they just yelled nonsense. The seraphs looked on in disdain, and decided to hand over the genre in favour of making UK drill rap instead.
In 5,000 BC, K-pop underwent another great change since Koreans finally figured out how to speak Korean. Singing now made sense.
In 1500, the Japanese invaded Korea and brought J-pop to Korea. This heavily influenced K-pop. The days of the drum were now gone (Although people still used drums, guitar usage was much more popular).
In 1793, The Korean war started due to God's establishment of South Korea. North Korea got mad and invaded South Korea. The Imperial States of America helped South Korea repel the invasion and North Korea was defeated. Being salty, North Korea decided to destroy K-pop. K-pop now lies in the hands of South Korea, who holds a monopoly on it.
In 2000, a new thing called autotune was invented. It is a device that makes a singer sound like Mariah Carey without proper vocal training. At that point, K-pop and all other type of music turned to using autotune since it is a more cost-effective way of making music.
In 2018, a YouTube persona combined K-pop with popbob, the most dangerous destroyer of civilizations in history. The result was a kpopbob, which caused a disasterous contamination event that made K-pop un-fit for consumption for three weeks. Millions died of delirium aegyo as a symptom of K-pop withdrawal.
Style[edit | edit source]
1st style (1,000,000 BC - 100,000 BC): Yelling nonsense
2nd style (100,000 BC - 5,000 BC): Yelling nonsense, stones
3rd style (5,000 BC - 1500 AD): Singing something that made sense, horn
4th style (1500 - 2000): Singing something that made sense, harps, violins, saxophone
5th style (2000 - 20XX): Singing something that made sense in autotune, drums, guitars, GarageBand, T-34
Marketing[edit | edit source]
The K-pop industry relies on an extremely dedicated fanbase for help.
President Kim Jong Uno-Dos-Tres-Quatro has stated "We is thankful dat de forenerz support our groopz. If dey no do it, our country would haf be poor." [1]
In 2020, the K-pop industry has generated over $0.001.
At some point every K-pop idol will have to undergo military training when they get older because it's mandatory.
Songs[edit | edit source]
The average Korean to English ratio in a typical Kpop song is around 0.001:1, and the amount of English words will increase as Spanish and Russian Hardbass music continues to rise. This is because English speakers can't understand Spanish and Russian so they have to go to Kpop to listen to English instead for their own sake. There might be Korean but at least there's English.
List of Kpop groups[edit | edit source]
Here are a list of Kpop groups. There are currently 123,456,789 K-poop groups in existence but here are some of the most popular currently. Also, every day, more than 9,000!!! new K-poop groups appears on EVERYONE'S PHONE.
Girl groups: ("Ladies first")[edit | edit source]
- Bluepink[2]
- SNDS
- ONCE
- Red Velvet Pants
- 2NE7 (drunk name)
- Mammamia
- IZ*NEIN
- ITCHY[3]
- OAO
- Æsshole
- (GAY)-IDLE
- sin(cos)TAN
- IVENTED[4]
- STEYR
- GUnfriend
- EXIF Files
- EVERDIM
- Bolgoffee
- Nub-Ke1per-Re
- SUS REMIXX
- LESSUCCUBUS
- GGWP
- Woo!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- Uni.Team[5]
- LIGHTCUM
- Suck it Punch
- weeakly
- Billlie Eilish
- Cherry レロレロレロレロレロレロレロレロ
- JOJOLANDS[6]
- LAPINNUS
- Cumis_9
- Taipei 101
- CLC[7]
- GLIZZ:y
- LOONEIN
- Dreamstancatcher
- AppleBottomJeans
- FiftyCent
- Opera GX[8]
- Marker Rock
- Pika
- Micronesia
- Uglyz
- ARAK
- Seestar
- El8y Down
- Oh My Boy
- Lowlight
- Monster Energy
- ILLITERATE
Boy groups: ("Gentleman last")[edit | edit source]
- BT-SV Biot[9]
- TVseXK
- NCD
- ECHOOOOOO
- SEXTIIN
- T.H.O.T.
- F.U.C.K.B.O.Y
- PSYchic
- Small Boom
- Wanna Two
- Super Duper Junior
- 2S69 Koalitsiya-SV-COVID-19[10]
- Eastern Bloc-☭
- Stray Dogs
- TNT
- TRE"ASS"URE
- IKong
- Octagon[11]
- Cosmo
- PokeMONSTA XY&Z
- Cavity
- Weiner
- F.A.P
- AJEEEEEEEZZZ
- TOS-1
- BBC
- D1uceBag
- ENOiA GaY
- Uraeus
- Beriberi
- EnGayPenIs
- TNX for the Head
- ExBinary Heroins
- NO TNX
- SperM
- 2Second
- Nud'est
- FIXXX
- 2PM
- Dynamite Dick
- Peen Pop
- A4 On The Vending Machine
- Toronto Orange
- The Rapist Band ---> Cigarette Cafe
- Stion
- Coke-W[12]
- Low5
- Ultra Family
- Unboyfriend
- Not8
- Limited
- NotMyName
- Black Hole
- Ennve
- Tempus
- The Old Five
- Riis
- 9turn
- Zerosuitsamus
- NIN
- Rikers Island
Soloists:[edit | edit source]
- UI
- Miso Soup
- Jay Why Pee
- MoonYou
- AnacondA
- Lasa.gna
- G-ASS
- Not Kris Wu
- YSW Lowlight
- Another Rapist
- Cun. T
- Namkang[13]
- Nico
- Snow
CO-ED/SPED:[edit | edit source]
- Trio Oriental Brega
- FAKYU
- Sped School
- Add2 K.A.R.T. now
- Triple Kill
Record Labels:[edit | edit source]
This list includes shitload of "Unentertainment" stuff
- Tiny Penis Hit Unentertaining
- MS-1 Unentertainment
- JJJ Unentertainment
- YPG (SPG) Unentertainment
- mv=MV=M-V-Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh[14]
- JayWhyPee Unentertainment
- SM Unentertainment
See also[edit | edit source]
Refs (for fuck's sake)[edit | edit source]
- ↑ His first language is Korean, NOT ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- ↑ BluepinKK accused by Kim Jong-Uno-Dos-Tres-Quatro and KGB bcoz they literally stole the T-34 from the Russian barn and they coated with fake diamond as fuck. GG guys
- ↑ Too itchy to be listed here.
- ↑ You sus.
- ↑ May bagong silang... May bago ng buhay...
- ↑ Part 9 finally confirmed.
- ↑ stands for Communism-Loving ****s
- ↑ All members are Japanese but they speak English. How is this a K-pop band?
- ↑ Also called as Bee-Tee-Es Biot
- ↑ SB-20 affekted by the virus pandemik so they panik, more panik.
- ↑ Jack Black is looking for you...
- ↑ Actually a Japanese band
- ↑ Is technically Japanese but who cares?
- ↑ Yes, they use the M-V-Yoh as a replacement for the T-34 they had stolen from a barn from Russia.
