Chicken (language)
The language of Chicken is the language generally spoken by chickens. It has dated back to 5678 BC and is one of the oldest still spoken languages today. The language of Chicken consists of four main sounds: pok, brawk, cluck and meow.
History of Chicken Language[edit | edit source]
The language of Chicken was first recorded in 5678BC, since then it has come in 5 stages of advancement. From 5678BC to approx' 2000BC it was the 'Chicken basic' age of Chicken language. From about 2000BC to 980BC it was called the 'Peckish age'. This was a major point in Chicken history where all chickens revolted against their evil leaders of the Quackian Empire of the Ducks. From then on from 980BC to about 20AD it was the period of the 'Cluckish age' where Chicken language took one step more advance. this was a famous time where verbs, adverbs and pronouns were developed. During the time of the age of 'The Fried Chicken Empire' (20AD to 1923AD) the language took another step forward in developing. The language of 'Pok BraWk!' was developed taking it forward, still today in modern society 'Pok BraWk!' is still used in some books. From 1923 after the war between the 'Kentuckistan Chicken Empire' and the 'Power Beak Republic' war was waged, Chicken language was taken into modern account. The new and official language of 'Cluckin' Common' was formed. This being the new language which is used by all Chickens world wide. Until the 'Pecking Beak of Cluck Union' was crumbled due to the rise of the almost invincible demonic powers of the 'Kuntucky fried chicken', 'BaWk Donalds' and other minor evil fast food outlets came out, 'Cluckin' Common' language still holds as the official language.
Chicken Academy[edit | edit source]
The official building of where the language of 'Pok BraWk!' was the Académie de poulet d'institut d'histoire, de sciences économiques et de langue. (Chicken Academy of History, Economics and Language Institute.) Which was established in 29AD and still stands today, it has been made over 8 times due to erosion. This academy was presented by Pope 'Chick o' fillet III'. This would be the place where the official records and history of the Chicken people of age would be kept for eternity.
Learning Chicken[edit | edit source]
The basics of chicken can be learned at any farm with chickens or official chicken institute. However, Professor Jim Singer is the world's foremost authority in the language of chicken and can speak and translate chicken in all of its known dialects. He will teach everything he knows about chicken to those select few that can afford it, though it may cost you a wing and a leg. It is the Secondary language of Quails and Partridges, who learn it to attempt to disguise themselves from hunters as chickens during the shooting season. (Supposed to be from October to January, but lasts from January to December.)
Alphabet of Chicken[edit | edit source]
The alphabet of the language of chicken is very advanced where it was 7000 years in the making until now. It can be learned easily with a bit of practice and can be used in everyday life. Below is an example latinization of the Chicken alphabet, intended to help English-speaking humans learn the language. (note: since chickens do not speak languages which use such writing systems, this will not help chickens learn.)
- A= fok fok
- B= cluck fok
- C= cluck cluck fok
- D= cluck cluck cluck
- E= fok cluck brawk
- F= brawk brawk
- G= cluck fok brawk
- H= fok fok fok
- I= cluck brawk
- J= brawk brawk cluck
- K= cluck cluck brawk pok
- L= fok fok fok cluck
- ☺= meow pok cluck meow
- <= snap crackle pop
- M= pok brawk pok
- N= brawk cluck brawk
- O= pok pok cluck brawk brawk
- P= brawk cluck cluck brawk
- Q= pok pok cluck brawk
- R= pok cluck brawk pok
- S= cluck cluck brawk brawk
- T= brawk cluck
- U= cluck pok pok pok
- V= cluck cluck cluck pok pok
- W= pok pok brawk cluck
- X= brawk cluck brawk cluck
- Y= pok pok cluck cluck pok
- Z= pok pok pok pok cluck
- != pok pok pok pok pok pok brawk
- .= brawk brawk cluck pok cluck pok
- ?= cluck cluck pok cluck pok cluck brawk
- YES=oui oui
- wtf wheres my food?= claewk claewk
Pronunciation[edit | edit source]
Each letter in Chicken is pronounced individually, with the first noise in each letter being pronounced louder than usual to indicate the start of a new letter. Additionally, punctuation marks are pronounced as if they were their own letters. To indicate a new word (a space), about one second of silence is required before starting the next noise.
For example, to pronounce "Gjk Mdsp Uamvn." (A common Chicken sentence translating to "I eat food."), you would say:
CLUCK fok brawk BRAWK brawk cluck CLUCK cluck brawk pok (silence) POK brawk pok CLUCK cluck cluck CLUCK cluck brawk brawk BRAWK cluck cluck brawk (silence) CLUCK pok pok pok FOK fok POK brawk pok CLUCK cluck cluck pok pok BRAWK cluck brawk BRAWK brawk cluck pok cluck pok
Syntax & Grammar[edit | edit source]
Chickens are quite unfocused in their day-to-day life, and so is their language. It usually doesn't matter what order you put words in, as chicken life generally doesn't require such strong focus on organization unlike in human life. However, in contexts such as in a business email or in a legal document, words are generally organized from largest to smallest. This is because longer words tend to be more important, and getting important things out of the way first and foremost is a staple of Chicken culture. Of course, one exception to this is that punctuation marks always come at the end of a sentence.
For example, if you are talking to a chicken having their breakfast, "Kao Mvnbe Adsddk Oood!" (translating to Good morning to you, lad!) would come across almost exactly the same as "Mvnbe Oood Kao Adsddk!" would. If you're writing an email to a chicken in charge of something important, you should always write that sentence as "Adsddk Mvnbe Oood Kao!".
Dialects[edit | edit source]
There are five main dialects of Chicken.
- Chicken Standard
- Poultrish
- Binary
- Fowlese
- French
- many indigenous chickens speak in their own tribal dialects
Other languages called Chicken[edit | edit source]
Once in the twenty second century linguists tried to find the perfect simplification of all language. They dubbed it chicken. It has no grammar, no syntax and no ambiguities. The only word is 'chicken'. Unfortunately it is so easy to learn everybody consequently did, forever dooming human society. These linguists were never prosecuted, indeed nor could they even be identified because as aliens discovered when revisiting the planet in 2035, all language including the history books were all written in chicken. Warning, this is a future article for events that have only occurred in the future and not currently. Chicken.
