HowTo:Cook laser chicken
“It's our family tradition and the thing that makes us proud.”
– Me on our food
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In my family, it's a tradition to eat our laser chickens in different dishes, so now I'm going to tell you how to cook with laser chickens! If you are a man reading this, then it is you who must hunt and chop your chickens, but if you are a woman, turn on the stove and start cooking a good meal for you and your friends!
Recipes[edit | edit source]
Laser chicken-soup[edit | edit source]
You will need:
- Two whole laser chickens, with the eyes
- Intestines and guts
- Chicken broth
- Disgusting tomatoes
- Really dry bread
- Potatoes stolen from your neighbour
Step 1: Turn on the stove and boil the chicken broth with the disgusting tomatoes and the stolen potatoes.
Step 2: Take the laser chickens and chop their heads! Make sure that the other laser chickens do not see this, for they may end up cooking and eating YOU! You can then put their guts and intestines in a separate bowl while you put the whole chicken in the broth.
Step 3: Put the guts and the eyes in the broth with the disgusting tomatoes and the stolen potatoes.
Step 4: Put the intestines in the fridge for later use. Your laser chicken soup is ready to eat! Don't forget the dry bread!
Intestines sandwich[edit | edit source]
This my dad's favourite meal! You will need:
- Bread
- Salad
- Butter
- Laser chicken intestines
Step 1: Cut a slice from your bread and spread a whole stick of butter on it!
Step 2: Put the salad on the bread. Make sure it's purple salad or it won't taste traditional.
Step 3: Put the intestines on your bread and add another piece of bread: now the sandwich is ready!
Boiled laser chicken egg[edit | edit source]
This is one is quick and easy to make, if you want something easy you can eat. You will need:
- Laser chicken eggs
- A pot of dirty water
Step 1: Boil some water. It must be dirty water.
Step 2: Place the laser chicken egg in the dirty water and let it steam until it starts to smell disgusting, like a rotting sock.
Step 3: Enjoy with caviar!
