User talk:VGDictator/archive2

Thanks!

Hey, it's Tayor, who's a GIRL. What are you? ANYWAY, thanks for the sig thing, I've been wondering how to do that. I'm a tad slow on the uptake o.O I'm mainly an IRC whore, sad to say. Anyway, thanks! Nevermind, it has refused to work. Any other suggestions? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 18:09, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Did you check "Raw signature"? I have {{SUBST:nosubst|User:VGDictator/sig}} in there, with Raw signature checked. Your signature may be in a different place. What do you have there right now? Maybe try {{nosubst|User:yourname/sig}}? VGD >=3 21:43, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Hmm, testing now. one sec... The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:48, 7 May 2008 (UTC) Parfait!! 'Tis beautiful! Thank you! I don't know what I had before...but no matter, thanks. Now I won't annoy everyone so much :P Thankee! (she says for the fifth time...)

Yay! Good for you. =3 VGD >=3 22:16, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

haha, righto. The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:00, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

Also, you are welcome! =X VGD >=3 17:04, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

I've waited all my life to hear you say that!! *swoons* The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 16:57, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

*raises eyebrow* VGD >=3 19:04, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

That's really, really illegal in this state. - 19:11 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Don't you live in Britain? VGD >=3 19:20, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Ah...yeah...kinda...well...yeah. It just wouldn't have sounded so good if I hadn't said state, silly. - 19:23 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Of course, how silly of me. Um, is it legal in Michigan? =D Also, it is a sweltering 60.4 degrees (Fahrenheit) here! VGD >=3 19:29, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Ewww! Fahrenheit! Ew! And yes...how silly of you. /me pinches my nose in distaste- 19:31 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Basically what I meant it is warm weather here (compared to the usual cold climate) VGD >=3 19:35, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

*adopts best posh English accent* Ew...you commoner. - 19:38 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Commoner? I, dear sir, am gravely insulted at your accusation! /slap YTTE VGD >=3 19:40, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

/slaps VGD back with a salmon that has been lying around - 19:58 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

*runs away crying* VGD >=3 20:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

I'm proud to say it is most def not illegal in this state. And I do mean state. British people and their random u's in words....and farenheit rocks out. So does our system of...math and stuff. I don't know what it's called o.O The non metric system. yes. The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:30, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

It's called the Imperial System and it gives me nightmares. - 17:35 16 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Yes, but I am daft and cannot work the metric system. The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:40, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

*runs back to hit YTTE with the kitchen sink, which makes a "boing!" noise* VGD >=3 20:24, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Tayor steps out of the way The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:23, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Ahh! Blimey! It's that damn American Revolution thing, all over again! Bloomin' hell! Back to spiffing, old England, then... - 17:27 20 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Okay, by which method would you prefer, sea or air? VGD >=3 20:59, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Bloomin' 'ell, the natives speak! Argh. Her Majestay's Navay should be here soon, are 'ere she is! /me hops aboard HMS Victory - 21:18 20 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

All aboard! *grabs back end (of boat) and kicks legs* VGD >=3 21:38, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Tayor observes hmmm.... Tayor sits on the beach and watches silly boys at play! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:33, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

*suddenly appears to the left of Tayor* (but who's piloting the boat now?) VGD >=3 21:39, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Heh?

Heh, I don't know what you've done to your talkpage but it's been a little bit screwed up. - 15:41 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

How so? =3 VGD >=3 16:51, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Eh you've got some of it fixed and some not, I can't get to the edit button and stuff and half of it seems to scroll and the other half doesn't. It's really, really messed up! I think some tags are broken/have leaked... :-( - 16:58 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Working fine for me on Firefox. =D VGD >=3 17:08, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Same with IE6, although my bottom template is messed up. =P VGD >=3 17:23, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Blah, two edit conflicts! Yeh for me, in Safari, and a few other browsers, it's completely messed up, cause I think your status template thing is leaking. :( I'm so sorry, you're going to have to have an abortion. Your baby is dieting dyeing deading. - 17:23 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Maybe I should div it instead of spanning it. VGD >=3 17:25, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Whee, that should help a bit. VGD >=3 17:37, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Oh you wiki master! I bow down! You fixed it. Congrats. /me pats you on the back then takes your wallet - heh that's a trick I picked up from SysRq! - 17:48 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

But I don't own a wallet! VGD >=3 17:54, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

...No, not anymore you don't...he he... /me employs the fabled art of "the shifty eyes" - 17:58 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Also, it is physically impossible for me to carry a wallet. But if I did have a wallet, it would be proper stolen! =3 VGD >=3 18:02, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

This Makes Me Cry...

This makes me cry! How come, even though the category is added to the template and it appears on the various user pages those various users don't appear in the category?! It makes me cry, I tells ya, CRY! /me cries - 21:50 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

I think they are added when someone looks at the page that the template is on. I could be wrong, but I do see my userbox page and stuff on there. VGD >=3 18:21, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Thankies

Pyotr Kuznetsov Says: "Thank You For Voting!" Pyotr Kuznetsov would be here himself, but what with his psychiatric treatment and all, he sent Dora to convey this message. Oh wait, Dora's dead! Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for this!

Please accept the preceding generic template as a sign of my gratitude, VGDictator. - 08:09 17 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

You're welcome! VGD >=3 00:31, 20 May 2008 (UTC)

Congratulations

...for shamelessly whoring the CMC to someone and getting them to sign up! I would promote you, but since I'm working, currently, on the Decree for the Reformation, I'll wait a while. - 15:28 19 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

You're welcome, just doing my duty as a fellow CMC member, right? VGD >=3 17:43, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Er...yes...er...that's all...er...right. Yes, er... - 18:02 19 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Reformation complete. Wow that a quick reforming of a society! Anyway, heres we go, you're now a CMC Courtier of the CMC Parliament's Upper Court. Congratulations! Feel free to edit the announcement's page if you feel you need to. Also feel free to accept or decline new users! (When accepting someone there's a little routine you need to go through, which you probably will need to ask me about, but yeah...) Here it is:

Cow Moo Cult Honour - Courtier
This user has been bestowed the CMC honour of Courtier. He or she is now an official member of the Upper Court of the CMC Parliament and has Cow Moo Power!

Enjoy the condom cowdom of it (by the way, this isn't a rank, this is an honour). - 20:18 19 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Thankies! VGD >=3 20:20, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Er...yes. Oh look a pwetty birdie! Why don't you go and try and shoot it, huh? I honestly don't know where that came from... - 20:26 19 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

IT CAME... FROM E-BAY. (dun dun duuuuun!) *dramatic hamster* VGD >=3 20:28, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

So that's why I had to pay £50 to get 100 different lorries to take it, over land, from China to the UK. It all makes sen—AGHHHHH, A HAMSTER! - 20:33 19 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Oh, by the way, you have to swear yourself in here. - 18:08 21 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Done? VGD >=3 18:48, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Oh dear lord!

Oh dear lord! You haven't made a contribution for five days! What am I going to do without you? Are you alright? A giant evil squid with eight eyes hasn't eaten you? *gulp* - YTTE^(talk) 08:54 27 May

For starters, I work on the weekends. Secondly, I can only post whilst at school. Thirdly, yesterday was Memorial Day. =D VGD >=3 17:05, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

Work? What's that mean? It's okay, I was just missing you..../me tears up Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 17:10 27 May

Silence, human! How dare you insinuate that something with no backbone could devour me! Aww, that makes me all warm and cuddly inside... and out! =3 VGD >=3 17:19, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

A squid doesn't have a backbone? That doesn't make sense, how does it climb up trees then? Warm, cuddly and HARD Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 17:24 27 May

It does it with its claws! thousands of claws, in each little suction cup (true!)! Always with the innuendo, huh, YTTE? VGD >=3 17:36, 27 May 2008 (UTC) P.S. I am taking midterms right now =P

Claws, 'eh? I see. So the cups are beneath the fur, right? Sexual innuendo? I have no idea what you're talking about! /me looks innocently around Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise 17:41 27 May

Nay, they do lay exposed upon the squid's many tentacles. Though, I do be beginning to suspect thee be thinking of the wrong critter... I never said "sexual" innuendo... However, since you seem so insistent about it... VGD >=3 00:52, 28 May 2008 (UTC) P.S. Sorry for not changing my status. =(

Oh don't worry I forget to change my status all the time! It's probably wrong at the moment, actually...And a squid has brown fur, four legs and lots of tentacles and suckers, right? So you want sexual innuendo, do you? - [08:09 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Nay, it has six legs, twelve tentacles, scales with blue fur on them, and nasty halitosis. What's an inner endow? VGD >=3 22:44, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

CMC

Hey thanks for welcoming Mhaille in my absence! Technically you didn't actually have the rights to do that (yet), but it's okay: from now on you do! Also since I want to elect this speaker soon, I reckon you're the one who's going to have the most time to do it. So, fancy being the speaker in the CMC Parliament? - [11:05 30 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Sorry, thought I did have the right. Also, I reckon I don't really have the most time to do said speaking, I do sorta fancy being speaker but I wonder if I will really have the time to devote to that, especially on the weekends when I am working my poopy job at a fudge packing facility. VGD >=3 16:29, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Oh gawd...not enough time....ug!! Er, well it's your responsibility to find someone has enough time, cause...ug!! The effort and everything and I have work to get on with right now! - [16:33 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Hey there, do you need some Beano? If you really need help with stuff just bug me for it and I'll help when possible! You can make me speaker if you really want to but don't expect much weekend action! VGD >=3 16:43, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

You can be speaker, but if you don't think you can put too much time into it, it's your responsibility (kinda) to try and find someone who may be able to put a bit of effort in...Without causing yourself too much hassle. - [16:53 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

fix'd typo. Also, it's not so much "a hassle" as it is "something other than doing the homework that is piling up". VGD >=3 17:17, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Okey dokey, then... - [17:19 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

'f I f'nd s'm'n' w'th m'r' t'm', I'll p'sh th'm f'rw'rd. VGD >=3 17:22, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

'' - [17:23 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

You can't do that to consonants, they get upset. Also, translation: If I find someone with more time, I'll push them forward. VGD >=3 17:43, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Yeh, I managed to just understand that! :-) - [17:59 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Oh no! I have stated the obvious! ...Um, can I borrow a potato cannon and five tons of lard? VGD >=3 18:05, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Make that four metric tonnes and we have a deal. - [18:08 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Very well. *points cannon at mouth* VGD >=3 18:12, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Who's mouth? And dear sir, why aren't you involved in UnProvise? Hmm?! Explain yourself?!?!?!? - [18:14 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

I noticed I was going to need to elaborate on that, I meant my mouth. And also, because I didn't know about it until very recently, and it hasn't gone through the laboriously slow decision process. VGD >=3 18:18, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

I see. Aim and fire away, then. And also, what laborious decision process? It's up and running, right now! - [18:21 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Just an UnProvise note: Try and keep your UnProvise contributions more in a UnBook style than a UnScript style. Try and imagine the UnProvise article without the name tags - it should work, even if you mutilate in the thus described manner. - [18:37 3 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Wha-huh? VGD >=3 18:46, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

*attempts to fire cannon, but stubby arms can't reach* Decision process done. VGD >=3 18:46, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6

Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff] Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek by ThePaleOne It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided. Random Mumblings: "Monster" By Zombiebaron Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.

Check out these pages! Unprovise: Content free content anybody can edit on the content free website anybody can edit, now with extra do-whatever-the-hell-you-want. Voatse.cx User:Under user/SparkGallery The Uncyclopedia Genome Project From our logs: 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) 01:36, June 1, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.156.118.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You're still at the stage where you afflict pain on the girl you secretly like, aren't you?) 06:03, May 31, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.8 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah BATMAN!) 18:16, May 31, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Zombiebaron!) 19:25, May 31, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Don't do that to Dr. Skullthumper!) 19:47, May 31, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 9000 seconds ‎ (Don't do that to TKF!) May "Of the Month" Award Winners Dr. Skullthumper ~ WotM ~ Oh! Gee! Right when he wins Writer of the fucking Month (WotfM), he abandons us! Well, *sniff*, good riddens! GO THUMP SOMEONE ELSE'S SKULL, THEN! *sniff* SEE IF I CARE! Cheapinitreal ~ NotM ~ Someone who indulges in Kitty Porn was BOUND to win best new contributor. We at Unsignpost are especially proud of this little noob, someone who will follow recent up-and-comers such as NoTimeToRevert and Beatboxing Jim. Heerenveen ~ UotM ~ Every nerd deserves his/her day in the sun. That day, and that sun, belong to "Hv". You will see him scampering around, voting, deleting, and peeing. Say hi to him once in a while, dammit! Sawblade5 ~ Ugotm ~ Sawblade5 is best described as a person obsessed with Gobshite of the month. Ever since this writer can remember, Sawblade5 (but not his younger brothers, Sawblade3 or 2) has been nominating users for banning or gobshiting. Finally, the gobshite queen has been crowned! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Spanish Nobody Cares and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "ivver sin a cuddy lowp a yat?" ~ Now we're moving into the realms of supremely useful English. The delightful Cumbrians use this regularly to ask each other "ever seen a donkey jump a gate?" I think you'll agree, there is hardly a conversation that goes by where this expression wouldn't come in handy! MrN9000's VFD vote/nomination of the week: Wet socks ~ Kerkill: Two year-old sockcruft. --Dexter111344

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:21, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

CMC - 50 Days

Lett it be known that on this 11th daye of June in the 2008th year, the Cow Moo Cult doth honestly bestow the Isshiki Medal upon VGDictator and lett all ye bare witness to this and from this daye ye will aceptt VGDictator as a trew Cow.

50 days and an award named after you! Can't be bad, huh? I know you're technically not on Uncyc, or whatever, but have the award anyway...and enjoy! - [17:28 11 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Well, technically, since I'm not actually banned from Uncyc, I'm still here on a daily basis (despite my better judgement =D). Also, thank you for the award! I'm confused as to how I actually deserve such an award, but I will gladly take it to further the inflation of my ego. Furthermore, disregard the "ego" part. Lastly cheese. VGD >=3 19:35, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Also you can put this on your userpage...lucky you! - [19:43 11 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Oh HAI, again. - Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[20:50 29 June]

UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7

Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job by Qua Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But don't worry, Qua (Uncyclopedia's shittiest n00b) and half of YTTE have taken over UnSignpost, well...until Cajek gets unbanned. Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment." Flumpa "taking toys and going home". by lots of different people It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow. Internet safety month has begun. By Dr. Skullthumper We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content BELLEND Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. This column has been blocked by Websense. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor". Finals approach for student-Uncyclopedians, procrastination triples By TheLedBalloon Aww, kitty! Isn't he cute? Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now. NONSENSE CATASTOPHE by Cajek An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY.

Check out these pages! How dare you! Google is the new 42 Join Scientology Or Else! Wikis different from our own PWN'D! From our logs: 09:42, 5 June 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Bringing Uncyclopedia in to disrepute (or even further into? whatever.)) 15:33, 5 June 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (time served already.....reduced sentence) 13:42, 4 June 2008, TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 221.154.246.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (Sorry, you're too dumb to edit this wiki. You can come back when you grow a brain.) 12:35, 4 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 47 seconds ‎ (ZOMG LINKIN' SHOCK BANBANBANBANBAN) 03:55, June 10, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.2.113.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (TAGLOG MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK TAGLOG?!) 20:07, June 10, 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Are you ban hunting or something?) 05:56, June 11, 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.0.83.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (You fail at funny. Read HTBFANJS. Slowly. Then copy it out 100 times in longhand and maybe, *maybe* I'll let you edit here again.)) Biopic of the Week 127.0.0.1 ~ Quite possibly the greatest IP that has ever lived. He is literally everywhere at once. He is in your computer, destroying it bit by bit. He is in your living room, eating your Flamin' Hot Cheetos. He is in your bedroom possibly getting laid. He is in every room you could possibly think of. All Hail 127.0.0.1!!! Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Japanese Euroipods and the Crappy Translation UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week: "Can-in-the-pan" ~ Showcasing the unerring ability of the British to come up with expressions that bear no connection whatsoever to the item or act they're describing, this is used by the Cornish to refer to a somersault. A small template glorious prize is on offer to the person who comes up with the best suggestion as to why. Answers on a postcard to UU's talk page. Page Quote of the Week: Oswald's guilt was assured when he was witnessed running the 397 yards from the Book Depository Building and began teabagging the President Warren Commission Best New Article of the Week: That Guy Standing Behind You with the Freakin' Huge Chainsaw, no words can sum up how incredibly good this article is. It tells this story about a guy who wasn't cared for who started chopping things up with a chainsaw. Sure some critics are skeptical but we at the UnSignpost think this is the best new article yet. Well until it gets deleted of course. Article of the week: That one written by Cajek all the way at the bottom was pretty damn good. I love articles that have references to sex in 'em. I don't have much to do in this trailer, and when I see a reference to sex it's like my pants fly. off. It's okay, the cats don't understand what's going on. Well, the dogs and the chimp may understand but they're not complainin'. Nope, reading Uncyclopedia articles gets me too hot to care about social constraints.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:52, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

CMC Promotion...not again?!?

Yup, Isshiki, you've been doing some awesome stuff for the CMC. Looking through those membership requests was very helpful. However, technically you're still not in a position to accept people (according to my knowledge of Cow Law)...but I'm fixing that now. You're promoted to Full Bull...you now are officially allowed to accept/reject people! Userpage template: User:YesTimeToEdit/FBu. Congratulations! - [19:02 19 June] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

Why thank you very much. =) VGD >=3 19:44, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Favour

Hey you couldn't deal with this, could you? I'm off to Barcelona... -

Sir FSt. Yettie (talk) (>>)

QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise

[16:20 30 June]

Thanks...

VGDictator has won the cowbell award for "Being a friend(and helping)", and was awarded by Meth Although it has nothing to do with anything, at least you're thanked anyway.

[05:34, 30 July 2008 (UTC)]Choose a fate of epic proportions. One Two Three Four Five Six and Seven

So I heard you were gonnity gone-gone...

Where'd you go! (I heard something about a coma?) -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 00:25, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

And now... join or die....

--"The person who was known as DJ Jasper, but is now this guy"