User talk:Hipster

Welcome!

Hello, Hypster, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Hypster/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! 

-- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 October 2011, at 20:22

adopt a nOOb

Hey Hypster, I just read your forum. I'd recommend you ask a user if they will adopt you..to make it easier for you to understand the incomprehensible stuff that goes on here. I'd be happy to adpot you, though it woulnd't hurt to check outvarious users and their style of writing and administering and leaving insane/helarious messages on each others talk page, to find the right person for you, or...I guess you could forget about being adopted and just start writing stuff. Have fun here. --ShabiDOO 02:03, October 30, 2011 (UTC)

Hello Hypster

I've been circulating back here more than in the past half year, so good to "meet" you. Saw your "How interesting" edit on the bomber's forum. The main reason I thought he was a fake was because he didn't seem like a guy who could think through and organize anything, let alone carry 25 molotov cocktails under his arm at 6 o'clock in the morning. All work and no play, is what I'd say to him. Hypster! Aleister 15:51 17-1-'12

Thanks! Some of your articles are hilarious. Whoever wrote that threat sounds like an angsty twelve year-old who couldn't even organise his Warhammer 40K figures. - ENTER CITADEL T)alk C)untributions B)an 15:54, January 17, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you. The good parts of my pages are all written by a neighbor boy who I pay to do odd chores like that. I actually checked the news to see if anything was asplode in New York, but nothing so far. Maybe he got up late, or left his molly cocktails out in the rain and ruined them. More likely is that he wrote the message, realized he could get in real deep trouble because he wrote it so it looked real, and he then erased it two minutes later. MadMax and I were juggling things around the site and we both noticed his edits, and max alerted wikia, but hopefully all for naught. Do you "surf" recent changes? Keep floating like a bee, sting like a butterfly, or something like that. Aleister 16:01 17-1-'12

I'm more of a maintenance man than a writer, because I'm the least funny person I know. But I think removing the unfunny stuff is just as important, no? - ENTER CITADEL T)alk C)untributions B)an 16:09, January 17, 2012 (UTC)

Jeez, you could spend your life removing all the unfunny from this site. That's very important. Have you spoken with Puppy, he's organizing the Vital pages, and maybe you and he could hit it off and then marry eventually, which would be good and would cause a party to occur. But fixing the unfunny is probably even more important than the funny. Aleister 16:14 17-1-'12

Greetings Hypster

You were joking, right?

'Cuz if not, I apologize. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, Feb 16 '12 1:21 (UTC)

Of course I was, you monkey raping dillhole. - ENTER CITADEL T)alk C)untributions B)an 16:48, October 7, 2012 (UTC)

Wow, a reply to a message after seven-and-a-half months? Gotta be a record. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Oct 19 '12 8:57 (UTC)

Hello

You seem to be doing great things around here, writing and editing and fixing. Nice. Happy St. Patty's Day, a bit of the green for ya. Aleister 1:17 18-3-'12

The Pea Buddy Awards

WOW! A brand new UnNews competition and we need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine his blessings upon thee! Mattsnow 00:51, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!! CONGRATULATIONS !!!

Att:Dear Sir/Madam,

CONGRATULATION

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Thailand International programs held on the 21/11/005. You have been approved for a lump sum pay out ofUS$550.000.00 (FIVE Hundred And Fifty Thousand United States dollars).

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.

This is not a scam!

To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer:
Contact Person:Dr Perry More (Lottery Director)
Email: perry_more@she.com

Don't try to deny it...

You voted for "Above Top Secret" on what people there call the VFH page. We have a little surprise for you, unless of course you suddenly get some wise and change your vote to "No, of course not". That would be satisfactory. Thank you very much! Samuel Tompkins Huddleberryski, Assistant Director in Charge of Uncyclopedia and Canada, Things We Don't Want People To Know Patrol (TWDWPTKP), Office of La-La Land Security 17:49 15-4-'12

Holocaust Tycoon

Sorry! don't know why I reverted you before; perhaps I read the change backward and thought you were adding the paragraph. I don't understand it either. Thanks for using the Change Summary to explain. Spıke ¬ 17:54 15-Jun-12

Thank you. It was one of those jokes that was small but bad/strange enough to completely throw-off the rest of the article. - ENTER CITADEL T)alk C)untributions B)an 20:57, June 15, 2012 (UTC)

Comments and unconstructive criticism

Hypster, I find the the comments you leave on peoples articles as you edit sometimes pushing the boundaries of etiquette on uncyclopedia. Its not always easy to draw the line between when you shouuld tell vandals to fuck off and how to respond to established contributors who simple have a different sense of humour. There is a line between between giving your opinion and telling people that they suck. I give you a few examples of comments that I think push or "really" push these boundaries:

• Repeating things is irritating. Repeating things is irritating. Repeating things is irritating. (while that may be true...tell it to the user in a nice way on their talk page...that way they may actually listen to you instead of getting defensive about it after reading a passive agressive comment)
• About as funny as being diagnosed with cataracts. (pretty condescending)
• Come back when you have a knowledge of how to format a Wiki article. (how about helping the user instead of berating them?)
• So opinionated. (all unnews is opinionated)
• That is about as funny as your father's genital warts. (that's just nasty)
• How come the most recent editings of this article are just so functionally retarded? (how will a comment like that help anyone?)
• Let's play a game of 'Spot the joke'! Keep looking.... Keep.... looking.... (that's dickish)

While I understand the intent is to improve the wiki and that your goal (as is for all of us) is to make articles funnier, better, groovier...I think the response of the user you are communicating with and the final result of some of these comments is the opposite. You won't see a single other established user EVER talking to another established user like this (unless it's a clear joke).

Here is a rule of thumb that might help:

1. If what you read is vandalism/stupid new user edit, then do as you like.

2. If it is an actual attempt to write and arcticle...don't attack the user/writing, offer constructive criticism.

Number two is the most important rule on the wiki. While it may seem that users are telling each other to fuck off all the time, that is reserved for having fun on the talk pages and forums, talking to vandals or making what are clearly jokes with each other. Your contributions so for, as per text, have been great and I hope your keep up with your passion for good writing and improving the wiki. Consider funneling all of your critical engergy into pee-reviews, where users are hoping to have other users critique their articles. If you think I am a total retard who is having a bad day at PMS, come to my talk page and we can wrestle in a tub of jello. --ShabiDOO 19:38, July 3, 2012 (UTC)

Archivin' VFD

First of all, hi.

Second of all, I saw that you removed my VFD nomination for bobfromaccounting.com without there being an actual vote. Thanks for reinstating the vote. ~ QZEKЯOM Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 16:23, August 5, 2012 (UTC)

QVFD and Obama article

Erm, first of all, this is a perfectly legitimate satirical article, doesn't appear to be "random", and is written by a well-respected Uncyc writer who happens to be one of the more articulate on the site in my humble opinion. Judging by your comments on its talk page, I can only assume you QVFD'd it because you disagree with its message or apparent message. So let me remind you that Uncyclopedia is not made to be aligned a certain way politically, religiously, etc., etc. and that calling people mouth-breathing hillbillies is also not the best of constructive criticism. I can see from your talk page that you've had problems with this sort of thing before, so please find a way to work on that or there may be unpleasant repercussions going forward.

Secondly, you don't need to sign your QVFD entries. In fact, you shouldn't. At all. Thanks. -RAHB 23:21, September 4, 2012 (UTC)

Y U HATE CTAM?

SRSLY, Y? (No, really, I want a serious answer as to why you hate Count to a Million so much that you're not content with just ignoring it and instead try to degrade it and end it any chance you get.) -- Кıяву ^Тαгк _{Сойтяıвs} 2012-09-06T23:52

Because it is stupid and redundant. The point of a forum is to discuss the website, not to be moronic. I hate how uncyclopedia has this vibe to it in which it completely mis-uses the forum mainspace. And I wouldn't mind it if it wasn't for the fact it's not even funny, either.

So yes. I do have a reason for disliking it. -- ENTER CITADEL T)alk C)untributions B)an 14:21, September 7, 2012 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia has this vibe to it in which we completely pretty much do whatever. If there weren't pointless forums we wouldn't need the Forum namespace. -RAHB 04:07, September 8, 2012 (UTC)

Well, if you hate it so much, then why don't you just ignore it? We're content with doing our thing (that is, counting to a million) and you're just being a dolt by flaming all of us on it. -- Кıяву ^Тαгк _{Сойтяıвs} 2012-10-07T21:25

Hi!

That is all. Make pointless forums, get pointless messages. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:42, October 7, 2012 (UTC)

Whereas: add pointless text to an article that was carefully making a point, get reverted. This because stupid ≠ funny. Regards. Spıke ¬ 18:54 21-Oct-12

Hello

Vociferous eggplant, salad wending orderly. Orderly. Orderly. Orderly. Orderly. Orderly. Orderly. Orderly. Overbounds.

Was truly has to had been was when we were. Salute. Salud. Alonze! -RAHB 22:49, October 7, 2012 (UTC)

Is this a joke or something?

 18:08 	My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic‎ (diff | hist) . . (+118)‎ . . Hypster (talk | contribs) (Due to a law passed in Germany today, this website will be blocked in 24 hours unless all naughty words are removed.) [rollback]

Just censoring this article wasn't enough if this was true. Also, do you know this counts as vandalism if it wasn't true? I hope you are joking or something.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!! 04:58, October 8, 2012 (UTC)

Emily the Strong

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate) She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it. » Zheliel Talk Contribs Cow » 11:35 October 8

Fuck you

You fuck. --EMC ^[TALK] 18:50 Oct 18 2012

Yeah! Let's get angry! -Da man360^Talk HAPPY 23:31, 24 October 2012!

Just to let you know

Sannse said that this image was fine and didn't need censoring. Just so you know. I'd revert it, but I won't in fear of being blocked. ~[ths] UotM 23:01, 10/25/2012

Hi

Hypster. Would you please start being pleasant on this website (in my humble opinion of course). Unconstructive criticism, a bitchy attitude and all around distain for all the other users is an assholy way to behave on a wiki. The users here have shown incredible patience with you so far. They are nice people and want to have a good time by writing funny articles. So yeah ... stop being such a collosal thunder cu*t. Please. --ShabiDOO 01:41, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

From Morality aka the new member

Hey thanks for the really warm fury welcome.

no sarcasm intended I took it to the heart.

Good to know there are no hard feelings. Only joking. -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 23:49, November 3, 2012 (UTC)

Troll! In the dungeon!

Thought you ought to know... that trolling in the forums is ...sorta dumb. Just let it go. Flaming (or pretending to flame) other users (especially when it rides the original topic off the rails and crashes it into the side of a mountain) is, like, "super-lamz0rz", ya dig? Excellent. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Nov 4 '12 14:32 (UTC)

Ban

Abusing another user is a no-no in my book. You got a day ban from Frosty before for dickery, so I am going to make it a week this time. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:35, November 5, 2012 (UTC)

if you want to contact me directly, use this: romartus@hotmail.com --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:37, November 5, 2012 (UTC)

Ban expired. Don't do that again eh? Now there's a good chap. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 00:05, November 14, 2012 (UTC)

All-right then. I remember when you used to be cool! -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 16:35, November 16, 2012 (UTC)

Welcome back. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:06, November 17, 2012 (UTC)

Yo, Mr. Hippo

Just so you know, we have a policy around here: Don't Be A Dick. So yeah, you better follow it or you'll be gettin' bitchslapped by da banhammer fairly soon. -- Кıяву ^Тαгк _{Сойтяıвs} 2012-11-15T23:00

Yes, in case you were wondering, I already was (And also, I've been permabanned before). Bit of a pedantic time to say that, isn't it? -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 16:35, November 16, 2012 (UTC)

0.o permbanned?! ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Nov 16 '12 17:17 (UTC)

Umm... Yes. I was originally a different user. But that was years ago, and it was purely because of formatting and spacing issues (I never used the preview button). It was not anything serious (certainly not vandalism or similar) and you have to remember I was 14 back then, and now I'm 17. -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 18:57, November 16, 2012 (UTC)

Ok then. Carry on. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Nov 16 '12 20:12 (UTC)

---

The name of the account was: User:Another_n00b. From what I believe, the account was created in late 2009 or early 2010, I'm not too sure. I was still in high-school, and now looking at it I realise that I was both a massive weeaboo and a complete dickhead (Seriously, I'm very embarrassed looking at it now). I remember I was accused of "abusing I.P addresses" or something, but that turned out to be a misunderstanding of some kind, I really don't remember. The only reason I was banned was because I mis-used indents and I really didn't understand wiki-formatting. When my account got permabanned because of (what I believed to be a) trivial issue, I was gutted. I eventually forgot about it and moved on. But about two years later I was looking for something to do, and I remembered this website. I changed my IP address and then signed-up for a new account.

"The New Leaf" I was thinking. And it largely was. No-one remembered the name "Another_n00b", and that was how I wanted it to be. No-one recognised me. I was free to do as I fit. But now I feel like I have to say this because I see that within just two years, this wiki's userbase has changed so much that I have to voice how it has changed. If that means me getting banned again for "ban evasion" or "sock-puppeting", then so be it. If I get banned again because of this post, I will just forget that any of this happened and forget about this website once more. -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 20:50, November 16, 2012 (UTC)

hello

Due to your above confession thing it has been decided you will not be banned forever and that you will be allowed to stay, however I suggest you read this and understand if you relapse into your old ways you will be banned accordingly. Welcome back though, just be good kthx. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 02:55, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

So...

You're a young guy who fucked up in the past on Uncyclopedia and who's chosen to come back and try and right his past minor wrongs? Sweet! We need more guys like you around here. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 21:12, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the complement. And especially considering how much of a dick I was to you in the past judging from some of my older account's forum edits, I'm sorry if I annoyed you back then. -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 21:55, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

Frankly, I hardly remember them. It's just good to see you make it to a stage that few formerly annoying members(read: The Crack Vandal, Not NXWave, Not Gomphog, Not Gouncyclopedia, etc.) have actually made it to: Actually worthwhile members! --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 22:17, November 18, 2012 (UTC)

It's great to see that I've received positive feedback. And I'm glad that you're not mad about what I had said, Meganew. -- HIPSTER T)alk C)untributions B)an 19:36, November 19, 2012 (UTC)

Good to see you back again, you are a credit to your race. Now if only more people would come back, and write as good as you after you wipe the cum off of your hands. Great to "see" you, and I hope to be back more soon myself. See ya! Aleister 20:00 11-19-'12

So far as I can tell, only thing you did was be an asshole on that Grue Army page. Not enough to put me into ragemode or anything like that. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 16:55, November 20, 2012 (UTC)