())Crapola))> !

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia!

This ain't your daddy's WikiLogo.pngikipedia ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME… ~Zana Dark 

I'm currently responsible for over 500 templates. This is my personal collection.

( . )( . )

Let Me Tell You Something, Pendejo -
You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
Job Well Dude
Your rug really tied this room together. Thanks.  
Jolly black santa.jpg
Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish
I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games.

Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas,

[[{|]] [[|}]]
This article is better than being a Goonie!
BEWARE: Any attempts to edit this article may result in a roll-back.
I banned Zana Dark and all I got was this lousy template.
{{User:Zana Dark/Templates/Postcard | Head = Head | Line1 = Line1 | Line2 = Line2 | sigLine = sigLine}}

Crystalturd.jpg :: THE RANDOM POSTCARD ::

Awww you're making me blush.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my crap!
-Zana Dark



This story is currently being recorded as an audio file by Zana Dark. Please make necessary edits only.
I sound professional and stuff!


[[{| purple nurples |}]]
for outstanding acts of uselessness


The Sophia Awards[edit | edit source]


Oh Sophia is

Such a Beauty to Be Held

In Both of Your Hands


  • {{PN|Welcome}}
:: the Formatting Genie was here ::
Don't hate me because I am beautiful, envy me for my templates.

Thank you for joining the AJTA team!
Awarded on: 10 November 2021

  • {{PN|Graduated}}
The Adoption Graduation Awards within an Award!
Pie Award

This user has been a good Uncyclopedian, and therefore gets pie.

This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Zana Dark.
I'm so proud of you, my little nooblet. Run. Be free. And for Sophia's sake, take these legacy awards with you.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
  • {{PN|Formatting}}
~ Zana Dark Applauds You ~
Templating Oh, praise Sophia!
That looks much better now... Thank you for helping out with your advanced editing and stuff.

Awarded on: 10 November 2021

  • {{PN|Templates}}
Aunt Jemima's Templating Academy
Congratulations! You've officially graduated...
Now go outside and get a tan or something.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
  • {{PN|Article}}
Well, go on... I'm intrigued...

You started writing an article I'm interested in reading, butt it looks unfinished.
Care to elaborate?

Awarded on: 10 November 2021

  • {{PN|Vanity}}
Sophia Read Something...
It might have been an article you wrote, or maybe she's just laughing at you. At any rate, you almost made her wet herself (don't get too excited).

Awarded on: 10 November 2021

  • {{PN|Busy}}
"Not Now, I'm Naked.."
Sorry, the Formatting Genie was too busy to respond to your request at the time.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
  • {{PN|Rewrite}}
Nice pen you got there...
Sophia especially likes the way you rewrote that.
Thanks for polishing the turds and cleaning up the crap!
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
  • {{PN|Vandalism}}
" Whew! That was a close one... "
It's a good thing you were here to revert that vandal.

Those wheely willies can be quick, thanks for saving me the trouble.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
  • {{PN|UnNews}}
Sophia has a thing for hot journalism
Especially if it's a cover story with compelling diction. You have some pretty good UnNews stuff, keep up the good work.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
  • {{PN|CageFighter}}
Great Sophia!
You've become quite the editor around here.  
Thank you for your contributions!
 ~Zana Dark
This user has finished training and is now a CAGE FIGHTER.
  • {{PN|Final}}
You have hereby earned all of the Sophia Awards. Congratulations, this is the highest achievement any Uncyclopedian can get other than Completionist and/or Bureaucratship.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
This user used to be a nooblet like you. Unlike you, now they make the big bucks.
this user is a little floating ass
Now get the fuck out!

The Purple Nurple Awards[edit | edit source]


This person has found a way to actually receive this medal.
They should be very proud of themselves for that.

Awarded on: 10 November 2021
The Golden Monkey Award
You are hereby granted the Golden Monkey Award for your outstanding contributions.
Thank you for making Uncyclopedia better.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
Uh, Nice MS Paint Skillz...
You are hereby granted the MS Masterpiece Award for proving you can draw, like, a real penis AJTA thanks you. Not bad, but next time try to add a reference to either roosters or clowns.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021

]][[ User:Zana Dark Princess Peach's Floating Square Braces
Whoah, this template has no borders. Don't worry, Zelda's on it. In the meantime, Emerald the Emperor wanted to give you this award for fixing up all those links. Red, blue, purple, oh my!
    Awarded on: 10 November 2021

Mr. Clean appreciates your elegant use of HTML, formatting, templates, and C0D3.
(As ugly as it may be sometimes.)
Awarded on: 10 November 2021
Der Unwehr
User:Zana Dark/Adoption
Ode to Drunken Wiki Editing
Oh man, that was a rough one last night. Can you believe we finished that entire bottle? I think I got banned on that dumbass website. Meh, losers.
Thanks for proof-reading all that crap.
Awarded on: 10 November 2021

~ The Coveted Two-Cent Piece Award ~

This is a promotion paid for by the Uncyclopedia Legal Department. You are hereby awarded the two-cent piece:   ( 2 | ¢ )

Thank you for your invaluable contributions to Uncyclopedia.  Congratulations!

Awarded on: 10 November 2021

Thank You Templates[edit | edit source]

 Hey, where'd Mona Lisa go? Has anyone seen Mona?
You know what? I kind of like the frame better empty like that, go ahead and keep the painting as long as you want!

Thank you for voting to feature Mona Lisa on the mainpage!!! ~Formerly Annoying Crap
Aaaaaaahhhhh WTF!?!
I forgot to add a reference to the movie Hot Tub Time Machine in my article. Since I was too busy playing Wolfenstein 3D, I don't have a time machine now. How the hell am I ever going to fix this mess?
Well, thanks for voting to feature my article anyways, I really appreciate it!
~Formerly Annoying Crap
OMG I can't freakin' decide...
I need to paint another portrait of Jared Leto, and I just can't choose which hairstyle I like the most. He's so freakin' hot!!!
Thanks for voting to feature Jared Leto on the main page!
The Walrus = McCartney or Lennon?
Epic Staches.jpg
With epic 'staches like these, who knows? It could have been any one of the Beatles.

Thanks for voting I Am the Walrus Symbol for vote.svg good enough to feature!

Supplies Limited! ACT NOW!!!
For just $39.95, you can create your own most memorable vagina flashes with the Lindsay Lohan Exposed Vagina Figurine safe in the privacy of your own home.

Hurry and get yours today! (Pie not included)

Thanks for voting the Crotch-Flashing Guidebook Symbol for vote.svg good enough to feature!

You Know, Butter makes everything better!!!
Happy New Year! To celebrate, I should write a special memoir or magnum opus, full of hindsight from the past year, demonstrating my growth as a writer. Butt yeah, that doesn't sound like me. Instead, I will continue to write things like I Am the Walrus and Mr. Peanut. That is just how I roll.

Thanks for voting the Holiest Substance on the Planet Symbol for vote.svg good enough to feature!

Better late than never... (and just in time for xmas!)
Way back in the day you voted Jesus stole my girlfriend Symbol for vote.svg good enough to highlight on the front page!!!

Even though it's been a few months, your vote was appreciated!

Please accept this velvet painting as my belated gift to you. Zana Dark

From the Desk of Zana Dark :)
User:Zana Dark
You voted for me as Writer of the Month Symbol for vote.svg December 2009. Thanks for laughing at my junk, and have a Merry Kwhannukmas!

Your inner uterus says thanks!!!
For voting Frida Kahlo Symbol for vote.svg good enough to be highlighted on the front page...
Muchas Gracias, Muchacho!
Thanks for voting for me!
First the Goldstein, next Queen of UnNews!
Lookout Onion, the Potatoes are taking over!!

(I just love making these, but I couldn't have won this award without you)

~Formerly Annoying Crap
The Neon Blue Poop Award

You voted my article Symbol for vote.svg good enough to feature...

I was so enamored, I ate an entire bottle of blue food coloring to celebrate!  Thanks for letting me share my crap with you!   -Zana Dark

Ten! Ten pretty pink penii, dancing just for me!
Pink willy.jpg
(As you can see, I've got them on the brain...)
Thanks one million!
~Zana Dark
WARNING: Product will be hot after heating.

The following data, up until now has been heavily guarded information, and revealing it will probably get us in trouble. So don’t take this information lightly.