())Crapola))> !

Welcome to Uncyclopedia!

This ain't your daddy's ikipedia - ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME… ~Zana Dark 

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• {{PN|ZD}}

Let Me Tell You Something, Pendejo - You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."

• {{Dude Abides}}

Job Well Dude... Your rug really tied this room together. Thanks.

• {{PN|ZD=JBS}}

Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games. Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas, ~ Zana Dark

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[[{|]] [[|}]]

• {{User:Zana Dark/Templates/Sloth}}

SLOTH LOVE CHUNK!

This article is better than Rocky Road ice cream!
BEWARE: Any attempts to edit this article may result in a roll-back.

• {{PN|Admin}}

:: WOW ::

I banned Zana Dark and all I got was this lousy template.

• {{PN|ZD=PC}}

{{User:Zana Dark/Templates/Postcard | Head = Head | Line1 = Line1 | Line2 = Line2 | sigLine = sigLine}}

	:: THE RANDOM POSTCARD ::
	Awww you're making me blush. I appreciate you taking the time to read my crap! -Zana Dark

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Template:A» Kristie Lee

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» KLR Gallery

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» Fresh Cracked

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@BlueMaven

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<Facebizzle>Template:A#TomboyInASkirt

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Send Zana Dark a Message »

SIDE______________________________
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A

DIGITAL BATH       MIXTAPE

720

{{PN|ZD=RIP}}

{{PN}}

[[{|Purple Nurples|}]]for outstanding acts of uselessness

Lifetime Achievement

This article has received a lifetime achievement award for the longest time spent on VFH. The joke got old and then fresh again while it was up there. It's like... retro now.

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Queen of Uranus Name: Kristie Lee       PSN: BlueMaven Active: 19 years, 2 months  &  26 days  + anon. Age: 44 Años        Edit Count: 0+ Job: Template:Strike  Full-Time Smartass <div style="border: 0; background: [{{{link}}} ] Pharess ; "> <table cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 style="margin: 0 auto; min-height:45px; width:100%; border:1px solid [{{{link}}} ] Pharess ; background:File:Texture not found.png ">

[{{{link}}} ] Pharess

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<td class="" valign=middle style="vertical-align:middle; display: none; width:45px; height:45px; line-height:1.25em;text-align:center; font-weight: inherit; font-size:15px; color: inherit; padding: 0; background:

[{{{link}}} ] Pharess

; ">

{{User MOM}

UN:LEGAL Legal Department Template:A/F "Crede Quia Absurdum Est "

This user adopts noobs and trains them for cage fighting.

THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.

This user finds the word "aardvark" intrinsically funny

This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime.

This user is a fan of the Las Vegas Raiders

BS:bs

This user has a BS with both a major and minor in BS.

BS:bs

POP

This user is a certified Popular Culture expert, born the same year as MTV, in 1981.

POP

This user is naughty by nature and white by choice and the sound of their voice makes your panties moist.

This user is a member of the Reviewing Committee, because they are self opinionated knowitalls.

This user is too damn sexy

This person has an outrageous sockpuppet in their control.

This user is reading your thoughts!

This user likes to eat anything orange.

This user plays the clarinet, which is very similar to the skin flute.

This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.

BEWARE: This user is a random pervert

This user loves pi

This user likes to shoot first and ask questions later. Next time, put some pants on.

This user is an announcer for UnNews because no reputable broadcaster would hire them.

Join the Collaboratory! (Collab•Laboratory)

What? I don't know, man... maybe I'll get around to it. This user is Super Laz

This user's IQ is over higher than yours.

This user is a member of the SysRq Fanclub Society, and therefore refreshes his talk page obsessively.

This user's power animal is a magical flying penis beast.

This user is a bit of a pyromaniac.

This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave them a message »

This user wields a plunger and can rollback your crap anytime, anywhere, anyhow baby.

This user likes to recover previously deleted articles.

This user is involved in Uncyclopedia Businesses. And you should be too!

This user used to be a nooblet like you. Unlike you, they graduated with honors. Now, You Pay Rent to Them.

WARNING: this user is a little floating ass. Now get the fuck out!

Catch of the Day

Labrus Julis

The Sophia Awards

~o~

Oh Sophia is

Such a Beauty to Be Held

In Both of Your Hands

~o~

• {{PN|Welcome}}

:: the Formatting Genie was here ::

Don't hate me because I am beautiful, envy me for my templates.

Thank you for joining the AJTA team!
Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Graduated}}

The Adoption Graduation Awards within an Award!

This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Zana Dark. I'm so proud of you, my little nooblet. Run. Be free. And for Sophia's sake, take these legacy awards with you. Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Formatting}}

~ Zana Dark Applauds You ~
	Oh, praise Sophia! That looks much better now... Thank you for helping out with your advanced editing and stuff. Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Templates}}

Aunt Jemima's Templating Academy
	Congratulations! You've officially graduated... Now go outside and get a tan or something. Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Article}}

Well, go on... I'm intrigued...

You started writing an article I'm interested in reading, butt it looks unfinished.
Care to elaborate?

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Vanity}}

Sophia Read Something...
It might have been an article you wrote, or maybe she's just laughing at you. At any rate, you almost made her wet herself (don't get too excited). Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Busy}}

"Not Now, I'm Naked.." Sorry, the Formatting Genie was too busy to respond to your request at the time. Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Rewrite}}

Nice pen you got there...
	Sophia especially likes the way you rewrote that. Thanks for polishing the turds and cleaning up the crap! Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Vandalism}}

" Whew! That was a close one... "
It's a good thing you were here to revert that vandal. Those wheely willies can be quick, thanks for saving me the trouble. Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|UnNews}}

Sophia has a thing for hot journalism

Especially if it's a cover story with compelling diction. You have some pretty good UnNews stuff, keep up the good work.
Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|CageFighter}}

Great Sophia! You've become quite the editor around here.   Thank you for your contributions! ~Zana Dark

Template:User GTN

Templating :

Cage Fighter Award! 

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Final}}

The FINAL FANTASY Award!

You have hereby earned all of the Sophia Awards. Congratulations, this is the highest achievement any Uncyclopedian can get other than Completionist and/or Bureaucratship.

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

This user used to be a nooblet like you. Unlike you, they graduated with honors. Now, You Pay Rent to Them.

WARNING: this user is a little floating ass. Now get the fuck out!

The Purple Nurple Awards

• {{PN|HMRFRA}}

Her Majesty's Royal Flying Rat's Ass Award

This person has found a way to actually receive this medal.

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They should be very proud of themselves for that.

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Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|ZD=GM}}

The Golden Monkey Award

You are hereby granted the Golden Monkey Award for your outstanding contributions.

Thank you for making Uncyclopedia better.

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|MSPaint}}

Uh, Nice MS Paint Skillz...

You are hereby granted the MS Masterpiece Award for proving you can draw, like, a real penis– AJTA thanks you. Not bad, but next time try to add a reference to either roosters or clowns.

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Links}}

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Princess Peach's Floating Square Braces
Whoah, this template has no borders. Don't worry, Zelda's on it. In the meantime, Emerald the Emperor wanted to give you this award for fixing up all those links. Red, blue, purple, oh my!
    Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{PN|Code}}

Now That's Brawny!

Mr. Clean appreciates your elegant use of HTML, formatting, templates, and C0D3.

(As ugly as it may be sometimes.)

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

Tell Us What You Think

Your Opinion Counts

Please vote below. Results will be shown when you have voted.
You are not entitled to view results of this poll before you have voted.

I think web polls are dumb.

What is HTML?

There were 8 votes since the poll was created on 20:08, 1 October 2015.

poll-id 677211098117C6ED409C4E02E85C51DB

• {{PN|Proof}}

Ode to Drunken Wiki Editing

Oh man, that was a rough one last night. Can you believe we finished that entire bottle? I think I got banned on that dumbass website. Meh, losers.
Thanks for proof-reading all that crap.

Awarded on: 23 November 2025

• {{Legal/A}}

Thank You Templates

• {{PN|CC}}

• {{Template:Time travel/}}

• {{PN|10}}

Aaaaaaahhhhh WTF!?!

I forgot to add a reference to the movie Hot Tub Time Machine in my article. Since I was too busy playing Wolfenstein 3D, I don't have a time machine now. How the hell am I ever going to fix this mess?

Well, thanks for voting to feature my article anyways, I really appreciate it!

~Formerly Annoying Crap

• {{PN|ZD=JL}}

OMG I can't freakin' decide...

I need to paint another portrait of Jared Leto, and I just can't choose which hairstyle I like the most. He's so freakin' hot!!!
Thanks for voting to feature Jared Leto on the main page!

• {{PN|9}}

The Walrus = McCartney or Lennon?

With epic 'staches like these, who knows? It could have been any one of the Beatles.

Thanks for voting I Am the Walrus good enough to feature!

~ Zana Dark

• {{PN|8}}

Supplies Limited! ACT NOW!!!

For just $39.95, you can create your own most memorable vagina flashes with the Lindsay Lohan Exposed Vagina Figurine safe in the privacy of your own home.

Hurry and get yours today! (Pie not included)

Thanks for voting the Crotch-Flashing Guidebook good enough to feature!

~ Zana Dark

• {{PN|7}}

You Know, Butter makes everything better!!!

Happy New Year! To celebrate, I should write a special memoir or magnum opus, full of hindsight from the past year, demonstrating my growth as a writer. Butt yeah, that doesn't sound like me. Instead, I will continue to write things like I Am the Walrus and Mr. Peanut. That is just how I roll.

Thanks for voting the Holiest Substance on the Planet good enough to feature!

~ Zana Dark

• {{PN|6}}

Better late than never... (and just in time for xmas!)

Way back in the day you voted Jesus stole my girlfriend good enough to highlight on the front page!!!

Even though it's been a few months, your vote was appreciated!

Please accept this velvet painting as my belated gift to you. ~ Zana Dark

• {{PN|5}}

From the Desk of Zana Dark :)

You voted for me as Writer of the Month  December 2009. Thanks for laughing at my junk, and have a Merry Kwhannukmas!

~ Zana Dark

• {{PN|4}}

Your inner uterus says thanks!!!

For voting Frida Kahlo good enough to be highlighted on the front page...
Muchas Gracias, Muchacho!

~ Zana Dark (and your Inner Uterus)

• {{PN|ZD=EGA}}

Thanks for voting for me!

First the Goldstein, next Queen of UnNews!
Lookout Onion, the Potatoes are taking over!!

(I just love making these, but I couldn't have won this award without you)

~Formerly Annoying Crap

• {{PN|3}}

The Neon Blue Poop Award

You voted my article good enough to feature...

I was so enamored, I ate an entire bottle of blue food coloring to celebrate!  Thanks for letting me share my crap with you!   -Zana Dark

• {{PN|ZD=CC}}

Ten! Ten pretty pink penii, dancing just for me!

(As you can see, I've got them on the brain...)

Thanks one million!

~Zana Dark

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