Unquotable:Quote Market

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M A I N   P A G E

Oscar WildeWinston Churchill
AnonymousAlbert Einstein
Christopher WalkenSun-Tzu
Benjamin FranklinMark Twain
Thomas JeffersonNoel Coward
Arthur C. ClarkeWilliam Shatner
Bill GatesYodaAristotle
Charles DarwinSwedish Chef
VoltaireJohn F. Kennedy
Adolf HitlerKeanu Reeves
George Washington
Dan Quayle
Captain ObliviousNostradamus


GodJesus ChristCthulhuSatan

See Also

Welcome, n00bz!Tackiness Manual
Quoting PolicyQuotable People
Deep ThoughtsEpitaphs
MnemonicsHamletHELP !

Forum:QuoteUnquote Quote Market: We need bad quotes there! Welcome to the Unquotable Quote Sale! We are selling junk quotes for low amounts of money! Add whatever bad quotes and other bad misquotations that you find here! We will sell them as quickly as we can!

From: Scooby Doo[edit]


~ Gow on Scooby Doo

Price: An explanation of who Gow is

“In Soviet Russia, Scooby Doo YOU!!!”

~ Soviet Russia on Scooby Doo

Price: A can of borscht

From: HowTo:Skip School[edit]

“Skip school, get right on living on the real world”

~ Oscar Wilde on school as preparation for the real world

Price: Your dignity

“In Soviet Russia, school skips YOU!!”

~ Yakov Smirnoff on Skipping School

Price: Your A+ in Algebra 1 and 21 kopeks


~ Mr. T on being told that he can't rhyme

Price: $1.78

“Our asses taste better!”

Price: You know what? We'll give you money for that one.

From: AOL[edit]

“I pity the foo who got mail!”

~ Mr.T on AOL

Price: $52.72

From: Game Online[edit]

“Biscuits are so great, you won't even notice a grue eating you if you eat one!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Biscuits

Price: $12.99

From: Cod[edit]

“Save SOY and Eat Vegans!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cod zizzlin' vegan bergers

Price: Soyberger made out of vegitarian

“Rainbow is promise of ....*swoon*..”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cod

Price: Holy bi-ble or koran written by oscar wilderness-forgot to spell his name- uhh-

“In heaven, Christ Jesus You!!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cod on rainbow

Price: Michael Jackson's 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'.

From: Russian Reversal[edit]

“In Soviet Russia, I’m going to fucking get buried by that guy. He has done it before in Soviet Russia, and he will do it again in Soviet Russia. The Russian Reversal is going to fucking kill ME!!

Price: $8.95 SOLD!

“In Soviet Russia, Norris Chucks YOU!!

Price: $100.95

“In America, you Google Tiananmen Square; in Communist China,......!!

~ Russian Reversal on Communist China

Price: $1.00

From: Poop[edit]

“Hello, My , its so yummy. Poop tastes like freshly baked brownies. I love munchin' on a nice pile of turd. It's not often that you get to eat your own poop. Every morning, I take a shit in the toy lot, and fish my poop out of the bowl. Oh god, I miss eating poop.”

~ nobody on Kittyslasher

Price: $1.45

From: Jack Bauer (all prices in real-time)[edit]

“What did you think of this article? You and I both know you are going to tell me.”

~ Jack Bauer on breaking your fingers

Price: your finger

“If she sees your penis, I'm cutting it off.”

Price: $23.99 (or your penis)

“There is no time.”

~ Jack Bauer on time



Price:A baseball cap

LIMITED TIME OFFER: !!Buy two Jack Bauer quotes at regular price, and receive one FREE!! Offer valid in the next 24 hours only. Restrictions apply. Void where prohibited, and prohibited where void.)

From Trogdor the Burninator[edit]

Burninating all the peasants, Burninating, TROGDORRR

~ Chocozuma's Revenge on Trogdor

(to know the meaning see Bottom 10)

Price: A Vainty Counter

From Crayons[edit]

“I don't think I want to be Crayons' friend anymore.”

~ Brian Ha on Brian Ha

“Man, I can't sharpen this crayon!”

~ OJ Simpson on OJ Simpson

“Can I get another piece of paper?”

~ Tom Cruise on Tom Cruise

“You know I saw a Crayon once, but then I saw a Gray Hound bus!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Crayons

From Deadwood[edit]

“How much cock could a cocksucker suck if a cocksucker could suck cock.”

~ Al Swearengen on Deadwood

Price: 1 & 1/2 pounds of gold dust

From Paris Hilton (Person)[edit]

“How slutty is Paris Hilton? Her vagina comes with a guest sign-in book.”
~ Oscar Wilde

“How easy is Paris Hilton? She had a glory hole installed above her bed's headboard”
~ Oscar Wilde

“Yeah I fucked her.”

From Utada Hikaru[edit]

“ Muhahaha!!! I stole your husband, and I'm just startin'! STEP YOU biatch. ”

~ Ayumi Hamasaki on Utada Hikaru

Price: ¥50.00

From Meaning of life[edit]


Price: $2.35

“I had absoulutly nothing to do with this, i will not be accused for this abomination!!”

Price: Your "prefered anomutiy" (presumbly, this involves the anus, and we'd rather not speculate about "preferement")

From Science Class[edit]

“I have eaten the experiment. We should out this in the error analysis!”

~ Oscar Wilde

$499.99 ($499 discount if you don't have a context or picture)

From Desert Eagle[edit]

“ In Soviet Russia, you blow head off desert eagle!”

~ Russian Reversal on desert eagle

Price: A russian willing to blow off his head.

From Hulk Hogan[edit]

“She's my Sister, Brother!...”

~ Hulk Hogan on His description of his female sibling to happens to be a nun by day, and a transvestite by night.

Price:Hogan's sister/brother

From Geek[edit]

“Jesus Christ, this must be what they make Hotdogs out of”

~ Oscar Wilde on Geeks

Price: $1.50, coincidentally that of a hot dog

From Child molestation[edit]

“In my country it used to be legal for an 18yo to love a 14yo, but then Harper pwned the age of consent.”

~ Some Canadian guy on Child Molestation

Price: 16yo (either ¥ or €)

From Black People[edit]

“Token, you're black. Of COURSE you have a bass guitar!”

~ Eric Cartman on Black People

“My mom says there's a lot of black people in China.”

~ Eric Cartman on Your Mom

“In Soviet Russia, blacks enslave you!!!”

~ Russian Reversal on slavery

“I care about black people”

~ Nobody on Black People

Whitey done stole my money. How'm I supposed to get on da' bus?

~ Flip Wilson on Public Transportation

Price: $3 for the lot

From Captain Ishmael[edit]

“I'd hit that.”

~ Pamela Anderson on Captain Ishmael

“I'd hit that, too”

~ Robin on Captain Ishmael

“Shut up and go back to the Love Dungeon”

~ Batman on Robin

“One word: Buttsecks.”

~ Captain Ishmael on how Lawyers are created.

“In Soviet Russia, Captain Ishmael's parents are avenged by YOU!!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Captain Ishamel

Price: A message on [[Talk:Unquotable:Quote Market |this talkpage]] explaining what original construction could have lead to this convoluted expression.

“Johnny Woo gunna soo yoo!”

~ Johnny Woo on The Clap

From Hockey[edit]

“War is like the ocean... Deep, blue, salty, and filled with fish”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hockey

“In Soviet Russia, Hockey plays you.”

~ Russian Reversal on Hockey

Price: $1.75 Canadian

From Richard Dawkins[edit]

“Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! Allah hu akbar! Whatever!”

“Look, I can't be fucked with this anymore. They all exist, OK?”

~ Richard Dawkins on All Gods, gods, Goddesses, goddesses, fairies, imps ,elves and other beings

“It is highly improbable that my God does not exist, therefore God exists!”

~ Richard Dawkins on Existence of his God

Special! Buy all three, get a religious text of your choice, FREE!

From unoriginal joke[edit]

“In soviet Russia, Joke rips off you!!!”

~ a totally original joke on not russian reversal

Price:one month in the gulag

From Rap name[edit]

“I pity the black fool who dont have no rapper name.”

~ Mr. T on Rap names

Price:Your ears.

From Spider-Man[edit]

“Basiclly, he pwned my axxor.”

~ Spidern00b on spiderman