Portal:Art

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The Art Portal
Art for art's sake is an empty phrase

Art (from the German arsch, translating loosely to "sexy ginger") might be the expression of amazing talent and possibly not stupidity or lack of imagination. Art may be generally considered purely a middle/upper class pursuit. However, some examples may have practical applications, meaning that they might also be enjoyed by the working classes.

Art is commonly understood as the act of making love to things that look like nothing much like people and which have no meaning beyond simple description. While art is often indistinguishable from mockery and pointless hobby activities, this boundary can at times be hard to define, as if anyone cares. The term creative arts denotes a collection of disciplines whose principal purpose is the output of material for the viewer or audience to ignore.

Today's Featured Images
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Yes, the Grodin Museum. The only art museum in the world showcasing works inspired by actor Charles Grodin, star of such timeless classics as Beethoven and Clifford.
Image by PF4Eva
Featured Art-icle
Obscuragraphs of Hans Helmuth Saltzman (1602–1668)

The Saltzman family were merchants and bankers within the Hanseatic League for two centuries up to the time of Peter the Great. Their fortune reached its zenith in Hans Helmuth's lifetime, when many of their family members were attached to European courts as diplomats and money brokers, below and behind the aristocratic tier of ambassadors and ecclesiastical envoys, with whom they exchanged patronage for finance. Hans Helmuth Saltzman was an attaché to the Ambassador of Schleswig-Holstein during the latter part of the reign of Charles I, and was an important and impartial witness to the internal divisions of English society at the time.

Featured Biography
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Salvador Dalí was born Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domenech, Marquis of Pubol in Spain in 1904. Dalí was like any normal person. He lived with his disciplinarian father, and his over-compensating mother, where he learned the values he held dear. Dalí upheld good practices such as eating your vegetables, drinking your milk, spitting on your toothbrush and not your dead mother's portrait, saying your prayers, and taking vitamins. He did this, like everything else, without complaining. Unlike Pablo Picasso who broke every rule from day one.

Given the length of his name, Dalí was unable to find a career in the mundane. With no skills to help him make money, he decided to earn even less money by his “art”. His unique perspective made his entry into the art world a given while his motivations were as cliché as any other artist: Being a famous painter gets you free drinks and a lot more girls go home with you.

Did You Know?
  • ... Works by Uncyclopedia artist Kakun are considered the most valuable in the world?
  • ... that developing an interest in art as a teenager is a good way to see lots of pictures of nudey ladies without getting in trouble?
  • ... that Joan Miro only became an artist so he could go to a posh school where people wouldn't make fun of his girly name?
  • ... that Aubrey Beardsley played Count Orlock in the 1922 film Nosferatu?
  • ... that Man Ray was neither a real man nor a ray?
  • ... that Vikings didn't have a word for "art"?
Arts in the News
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