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The Film Portal

Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)

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The typical breakfast of Mr. White.

A Day In the Life of Armond White is a 3rd person novel written by a Rolling Stones editor as part of a story. The book details encounters with people by skilled film critic Armond White and his reactions to these situations. Hailed by critics, one critic wrote "a different tone...we rarely see someone so laughable." The entire text is preserved below:

Foreward

In a strange, roundabout way, we can all relate to Armond White. The stuffy Englishman from the 1940s, the high class man at the Opera...all of the things that seem like they don't belong can be traced back to Mr. White. In this book, provided by Mr. White's personal journals, we detail what it would be like to be Armond White for a day. I hope you enjoy this book as much as I laughed while writing it.

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Written by Saberwolf116

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A popular spinoff from the movie Beetlejuice, this was the top-grossing film of 2007. Emphasis on the word gross.

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Image by BobNewbie

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Did You Know...

…The Straw man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"

…the Bogeyman is terrible at golf.

…Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection. Ours.

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Highlighted Biography

Akira Kurosawa on the set of the tragically boring film Ran (1985).

Akira Kurosawa was a Japanese filmmaker best known for his many samurai films and period pieces. Kurosawa was one of the most important and influential filmmakers in history, and influenced directors like George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, Sergio Leone, and Quentin Tarantino. At one point, Kurosawa was considered one of the greatest directors of all time. However, this former consensus pegging Kurosawa as one of the greatest—if not the greatest—filmmaker of all time has recently changed. The work and studies of a new generation of film scholars—most notably Timmy Brenton (age 14) and Stacy Summers (age 19)—has brought to light a number of flaws inherent in all Kurosawa films.