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Portal:Film

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The Film Portal
Old film.jpg

Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)


Highlighted Images
Donnie Darko and the Easter Bunny.png
In this film the role of the Easter Bunny is likened to that of the Tooth Fairy. Seen here portrayed by Bette Midler.
Image by Ben DeRoy
Highlighted Article
A dog. It dies at the end.

The Dog Dies at the End is a movie that was popular at some point in the early nineties. Frequently shown to children (usually when Shrek or Finding Nemo are nowhere to be found) but rarely enjoyed, it documents the fictional relationship  [1] between a boy (called Jack) and his dog (called Spot or something). During the course of the movie, the friendship grows and all the characters in some way learn something about themselves. The dog dies at the end.

Plot

Part 1: The Kid Gets His Dog The movie opens with Jack's birthday party. He is blowing out the candles on his birthday cake and enjoying a cool, refreshing glass of Coca Cola, in a heart-warming scene for the whole family. However, it soon becomes clear that something is amiss: there are no other kids there.

Written by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays
Highlighted Biography
Leone1.jpg

[a panoramic long shot of what is apparently supposed to be a valley in the American West; nothing happens; the silence is finally broken by an incredibly fake-sounding gunshot]

[khk-klck]

[ka-PYE-E-E-EW!]

Sergio Leone

[khk-klck]

[ka-PYE-E-E-EW!]

Was an influential Italian filmmaker

[khk-klck]

[ka-PYE-E-E-EW!]…

Archive Article credit: Guildensternenstein (more...)
Did You Know?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that the Bogeyman is terrible at golf?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
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