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Portal:Film

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The Film Portal
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Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)


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This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one.
Image by Sonje
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A dog. It dies at the end.

The Dog Dies at the End is a movie that was popular at some point in the early nineties. Frequently shown to children (usually when Shrek or Finding Nemo are nowhere to be found) but rarely enjoyed, it documents the fictional relationship  [1] between a boy (called Jack) and his dog (called Spot or something). During the course of the movie, the friendship grows and all the characters in some way learn something about themselves. The dog dies at the end.

Plot

Part 1: The Kid Gets His Dog The movie opens with Jack's birthday party. He is blowing out the candles on his birthday cake and enjoying a cool, refreshing glass of Coca Cola, in a heart-warming scene for the whole family. However, it soon becomes clear that something is amiss: there are no other kids there.

Written by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays
Highlighted Biography
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Akira Kurosawa on the set of the tragically boring film Ran (1985).

Akira Kurosawa was a Japanese filmmaker best known for his many samurai films and period pieces. Kurosawa was one of the most important and influential filmmakers in history, and influenced directors like George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, Sergio Leone, and Quentin Tarantino. At one point, Kurosawa was considered one of the greatest directors of all time. However, this former consensus pegging Kurosawa as one of the greatest—if not the greatest—filmmaker of all time has recently changed. The work and studies of a new generation of film scholars—most notably Timmy Brenton (age 14) and Stacy Summers (age 19)—has brought to light a number of flaws inherent in all Kurosawa films.…

Archive Article credit: Guildensternenstein (more...)
Did You Know?
  • ... that the Bogeyman is terrible at golf?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
  • ... that there aren't enough of these, so there'll always be at least one repeat?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that there aren't enough of these, so there'll always be at least one repeat?
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