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Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (See more...)

Featured Image
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In this film the role of the Easter Bunny is likened to that of the Tooth Fairy. Seen here portrayed by Bette Midler.
Featured Article
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The Dog Dies at the End is a movie that was popular at some point in the early nineties. Frequently shown to children (usually when Shrek or Finding Nemo are nowhere to be found) but rarely enjoyed, it documents the fictional relationship between a boy (called Jack) and his dog (called Spot or something). During the course of the movie, the friendship grows and all the characters in some way learn something about themselves. The dog dies at the end.

The movie opens with Jack's birthday party. He is blowing out the candles on his birthday cake and enjoying a cool, refreshing glass of Coca Cola, in a heart-warming scene for the whole family. However, it soon becomes clear that something is amiss: there are no other kids there. The only others present are his mother and his drunken racist grandmother (who plays a huge part at the end) who sits in the other room spitting and saying "I told you to have an abortion!" (See more...)

Featured Biography
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Akira Kurosawa (黒沢 明) was a Japanese filmmaker best known for his many samurai films and period pieces. Kurosawa was one of the most important and influential filmmakers in history, and influenced directors like George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, Sergio Leone, and Quentin Tarantino. At one point, Kurosawa was considered one of the greatest directors of all time. However, this former consensus pegging Kurosawa as one of the greatest – if not the greatest – filmmaker of all time has recently changed. The work and studies of a new generation of film scholars – most notably Timmy Brenton (age 14) and Stacy Summers (age 19) – has brought to light a number of flaws inherent in all Kurosawa films. For instance, Timmy Brenton observes that Kurosawa's films are completely devoid of special effects, explosions, gore, or hot girls, and instead focus on boring things like "the plot" and character development. Stacy Summers (in regards to the social commentary the pervades many Kurosawa films) has made the observation that such things are boring and that she'd "rather just watch The Hills". (See more...)

Did You Know?
  • ... that Michael Bay is a shallow estuary located near Los Angeles, in which eighty percent of SoCal's clichéd, formulaic action sequences occur?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that Christian Bale is the American Psycho?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
  • ... that Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems proves that sports gambling is great, and you're one parlay from becoming a millionaire?
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