Portal:Film
Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.
Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (See more...)
The Bourne Pottery Class is the fourth film in the popular Jason Bourne series, starring Matt Damon. The film tells the epic tale of Jason Bourne, the ex-CIA assassin, as he enrolls in a pottery class and learns to make ceramic pots and pans. The film was hailed by critics as "one of the most thrilling depictions of ceramic plate-making since the James Bond movie from the '80s, 'The Spy who Helped Glaze my Clay Vase.'"
The film picks up directly where the last installment, the Bourne Ultimatum, left off--with Jason Bourne swimming in a New York river after falling approximately eight miles from a nearby skyscraper. Bourne swims to the shore and sees a building marked "Mrs. Wheeler's Pottery School." He walks inside, as extremely loud, guitar-driven industrial music plays in the background. The camera shakes dramatically as the first of many exhilarating sequences begins. Bourne tries to enroll in the class, but Mrs. Wheeler (Winona Ryder) wants to charge him $20 an hour. He says this is outrageous. As they argue, the camera shakes violently to the point that it is no longer possible to tell what is going on onscreen because it is an incomprehensible blur.
Karin? Are you there, Karin? There is… there is something of great importance I want to talk to you about, child. My whole life I've felt confused, and incomplete, and depressed, and inadequate, and lost, and empty, and unnatural, and just yesterday Agnes told me my breath smelled of herring and pickled cabbage and that I should brush my teeth more often. I'm just so depressed, Karin, so totally and utterly depressed, my child, and that's why I've called you in here. Karin, are you, per chance, familiar with the work of Swedish filmmaker Ernst Ingmar Bergman?
You aren't? Well then, I think that it's important that I tell you about him. Please, don't leave. Grant me this at least, please. Please, Karin. Me, a poor, depressed old Swedish woman with a fondness for lengthy existentialist monologues—does that sound like someone with a lot going for them, Karin? Does that sound like someone who's quite popular; someone who's well liked? Well, does it, Karin!? DOES IT!? Tell me, Karin! Oh God, please, do tell me!
- ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
- ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
- ... that Christian Bale is the American Psycho?
- ... that Michael Bay is a shallow estuary located near Los Angeles, in which eighty percent of SoCal's clichéd, formulaic action sequences occur?
- ... that Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems proves that sports gambling is great, and you're one parlay from becoming a millionaire?
- James Dean named People magazine's "Sexiest Man Dead" (Pictured)
- Donald Trump kidnapped by European Union, turned into walrus
- Chicago boy found dead was allegedly left home alone by bumbling family
- Actress Michelle Yeoh gifts kevlar helmets to Filipino schoolchildren
- Movie character fails to heed advice of Pennsylvania woman, dies
- Osama bin Laden is rewarded with star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
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