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Portal:Film

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The Film Portal
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Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)


Highlighted Images
SavingPrivateElmo.jpg
This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one.
Image by Sonje
Highlighted Article
The promotional poster.

Unromantic Comedy is a 2009 UnFilm Production, directed by a bunch of idiots with a video camera, and starring, believe it or not, Cameron Diaz. She obviously hasn't got much good work recently, if this is the kind of thing she is reduced to working in...

Scene 1

A nursery, somewhere sunny and beautiful in California. Jane is helping out some little kids paint.

Jane: Okay, kiddies, it's time to put away the paintbrushes. You're going home now! (muttered) Thank God.
Child: Why are you thanking God?
Jane: Because he made our beautiful world, Ben, now stop licking the paintbrush and put it away.

Sam then walks in to pick up his child.

Child: Daddy!
Sam: Hello, son! Oh, its so nice to see you...
Written by Nameable
Highlighted Biography
Sofiacoppola.jpeg
Coppola's performances were criticized for being too "corpselike".

Sofia Carmina Coppola (born May 14, 1971) is an American screenwriter, director, producer, and occasional actress who makes films about nothing.

Early life

Coppola was born in New York City, New York, the youngest child and only daughter of Eleanor Neil and Francis Ford Coppola, granddaughter of the composer Carmine Coppola, sister of Roman Coppola and Gian-Carlo Coppola, niece of August Coppola and Talia Shire, cousin of Nicolas Cage, Jason Schwartzman and Robert Carmine...…

Archive Article credit: Black flamingo11 (more...)
Did You Know?
  • ... that the Bogeyman is terrible at golf?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
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