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Portal:Film

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The Film Portal
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Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)


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A popular spinoff from the movie Beetlejuice, this was the top-grossing film of 2007. Emphasis on the word gross.
Image by BobNewbie
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The promotional poster.

The Bourne Pottery Class is the fourth film in the popular Jason Bourne series, starring Matt Damon. The film tells the epic tale of Jason Bourne, the ex-CIA assassin, as he enrolls in a pottery class and learns to make ceramic pots and pans. The film was hailed by critics as "one of the most thrilling depictions of ceramic plate-making since the James Bond movie from the '80s, 'The Spy who Helped Glaze my Clay Vase.'"

The film picks up directly where the last installment, the Bourne Ultimatum, left off--with Jason Bourne swimming in a New York river after falling approximately eight miles from a nearby skyscraper. Bourne swims to the shore and sees a building marked "Mrs. Wheeler's Pottery School."

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“Ingmar Bergman—your father—was an odd and interesting man.”

Karin? Are you there, Karin? There is…there is something of great importance I want to talk to you about, child. My whole life I’ve felt confused, and incomplete, and depressed, and inadequate, and lost, and empty, and unnatural, and just yesterday Agnes told me my breath smelled of herring and pickled cabbage and that I should brush my teeth more often. I’m just so depressed, Karin, so totally and utterly depressed, my child, and that’s why I’ve called you in here. Karin, are you, per chance, familiar with the work of Swedish filmmaker Ernst Ingmar Bergman?…

Archive Article credit: Guildensternenstein (more...)
Did You Know?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection?
  • ... that the Bogeyman is terrible at golf?
  • ... that the Straw Man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"?
  • ... that the Bogeyman is terrible at golf?
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