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Nominated Useless Gobshite of the Month

This user has been nominated for Useless Gobshite of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your least favourite users at Uncyclopedia:Useless Gobshite of the Month.

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This talk page is a stub. The people arguing may also have been smoking crack. You can help Uncyclopedia by

avoiding this . 

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This page contains profuse whining. Proceed with caution.

{{stub}}{{WIP}}[edit | edit source]

I've seen that you've created many articles that are simply comprised of those two templates. This is not good. It makes people think you are a wanker. Don't make people think you're a wanker.....bad publicity is bad. For future reference, if you want to create pages, do so in your own userspace. Also, don't concentrate so much on quantity as quality. So far, every one of the articles that you've put out is subpar. Works in progress are not exempt from deletion if they are irredeemable. Now, let's recap. Don't be a wanker, create pages in your userspace, spend more than twenty minutes on them or they will get deleted regardless of template. And finally, do not write nasty messages to admins on their talk pages. That is a good way to be infinibanned.- (nice to know that power always yields these threats, even when volunteering for a privately held company --Ohadaloni 08:40, 29 July 2007 (UTC))Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 18:17, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Define many. Examples for the definition of many in this context, 3, 4, 5, 6, ,7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16...Please pick one definition and stick to it, so we can compare your statements with reality. It is possible though unlikely it is actually reality that is lying about this. --Ohadaloni 08:40, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Taking that sort of attitude will get you nowhere. Read the notes at Template:WIP. They explain what's going on. The admins were taking a proactive approach, seeing that what you were producing was not going to get any better. Like I said earlier, churning out a new article every twenty minutes is not a good way to go about doing anything. It significantly takes away from the quality of the work, and also shows that you don't care about expanding on articles that you start. Which brings me back to the reason why admins deleted your page.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 18:42, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
PS: I am not an admin.
I've read several of your pages. Understand that I often patrol Recent Changes to find stuff to post for deletion. I've seen what you've written. Obviously there was some other motive for deletion. I cannot speak for Zombiebaron. However, if you really are looking for the guidelines, go to the links in your welcome message, specifically this and this. These are the true policies abided by all on this site. If you want to know what we consider funny, look at Uncyclopedia:Best of and check out those articles. Articles featured are considered funny. And that's all she wrote...for now.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:12, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
The beginners guide was given to you as a link in the welcome I posted to you when you first arrived. Reading your comments that you have spread out throughout the site it seems as though you have come here with an agenda. A number of individuals, both regular users and admins have tried to help you, but you clearly wish to continue "proving" your point. Just to leave you in no doubt, THIS is the last chance for you to stop creating pointless stubs on the site before I issue a ban. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Maybe, if you can see my agenda so clearly, you will also be kind enough to share your knowledge with me? Because I was wondering myself what my agenda should be. I rather thought I was having a pleasant time as my agenda, but you seem to have a different agenda in mind. --Ohadaloni 23:03, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Work in progress[edit | edit source]

To save your WIPs from deletion, don't make them in mainspace (eg Waiter). Instead, make them under your userpage (eg User:Ohadaloni/Waiter), then move them when they're done. A page like Anaesthetic will not survive out in the cold, cruel world of the wiki; it needs the warm embrace of userpageness, plus sunlight, water and soil, to blossum into the flower of a good page. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:27, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

It is sad that Anaesthetic is now in such a poor shape, and was not even deleted from its final round, having written all of its content three times over, with different content each time to an extent, for lack of better knowledge or memory. I'm sure the combined work, now lost, would have yielded much better results. As it is, I have no intention of augmenting it a this stage, nor any other page, until at least a week has passed by. I have yet to see a single page being deleted without violence. It is also referred to by several other pages, but with my new time consuming activity of writing the talk page, I haven't the time nor the will to continue to try and keep track, nor address any other issues. --Ohadaloni 00:22, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh, for fuck's sake. Just start the damn pages under your userpage already. Before I started, working on, and finishing pages under my userpage, I did this. It's the first edit to the first page of mine that, for the most part, works. See how much there is? See how it's (mostly) coherent? If you can't start a page with at least that much content, start it under your userpage. Dagnabit and harumph. I'm done here. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 00:57, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Well, at least someone is direct and honest for a change, thanks. This being the case let me take this opportunity and see if we can together resolve my problem in this respect. I have in the past four days created several pages that link to one another and cross reference each other, trying to create a seemingly reliable world of fiction, aided by many links and images from existing content, training myself and this structure slowly (if you can call it that) tuning this web to the Uncyclopedia style as I learn it, including some meticulous detail like learning the style of verbiage Oscar Wilde uses in this medium, having learnt this is something probably worth the effort from the wikipedia page on the uncyclopedia. My problem is I am not sure How I would place a link in a page of mine, refering to another page of mine, while both reside in my home space, without going thruogh the painstaking task of changing and veryfying links when the pages are ready. It also follows that if I did do just that, then the number of pages I would collect at home would be much larger, or else consistency would be very difficult and time consuming to maintain. If can freely write without taking too much time with admin isssues like that, than the Uncyclopedia is a pleasant place to write in. As it so happens, my own open source data base oriented non wiki software which I use on my site, is just in between these two. It is much more convenient to use as compared with a dual system as you describe, and much less productive, if compared with using the wiki software direct. This is not to say this is a deciding factor, but it is a pro/con issue carrying some weight. The biggest pro in the Uncyclopedia for me is that I get to laugh a lot more, even with my own writing, because I myself hit it the first time as I write it. The concept of a fictinate comedic paralel to the language with the conceptual backing of a reliable encyclopedia (by this I mean the fact that I, as per the guidlines, stick close to the truth, and meticulously to the naming of pages to their exsisting wikipedia siblings) is an excellent cushion for comedy for the inherent anbiguity implied, which is not something one easily gets elsewhere.
You could easily make one page at a time, or, just link to where the article will be when you're finished.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 02:20, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Thanks for the thoughtful advice --Ohadaloni 02:25, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Yer welcome. Seriously, you only have to ask. Politely. And preferably with smaller paragraphs.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 02:28, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
I agree with that guy. It's what I said, except explained in a humorously irreverent way.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:33, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Me too. I hope, Ohadaloni, you'll take all of this as it is meant - friendly advice, well-meant and freely given. We'd all like to see you join the flock and become a productive member of Uncyclopedia :) RabbiTechno 19:35, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Freely Given? You mean I should be happy I'm not paying for this? --Ohadaloni 02:32, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Humour AND irreverence? On the same page? Whatever next? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
And in all honesty, isn't the irrevence on my page the true cause for all this mess, and its just a silly witch hunt? Surely there are some stats and logs to compare my activities to some truly evil people. One of the admins had accused me of trying to come after the Uncyclopedia. Maybe you want to scan this page and ask them what they meant by this, and let me know, as I have no clue in the realm of non comedic reality. Not everyone in Israel shoots at random in the air and hits people, you know. My most effective and dangerous tactical weapon is my Guitar and I don't even play very well --Ohadaloni 23:15, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
I agree with Ljlego. It's what I said, but before I said it and in falsetto with a lyre for musical accompaniment, versus my rich tenor plus a ukelele (one of those wicked triangular ones. I added the whammy bar myself). Also, it's higher up on this page. Oh, and he uses a different signature. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 19:56, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Leveling with You[edit | edit source]

Look, buddy. I've been trying to be civil with you, but here is where I draw the line. It is obvious to me that you lack one thing that is inherent toward anyone's survival: common sense. If you have an empty page that is being promised to be completed, then who's to say what the subject matter will be? Admins have to look at perhaps 150 to 200 new pages each day to see which will be deleted. They haven't the time to put a personalized message onto each of the deletion logs for a page. If you ask the deleting admin civilly what was wrong, he/she will tell you. In case you didn't know, civilly means asking like this person did. Note the kindly response. Now, I suggest you let the matter drop and take the advice offered above by a few of Uncyclopedia's most productive users. We're not out to get you, but if you come after us we'll have no choice but to let you go, like this guy.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:07, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

With all respect to the 150 pages a day you get to delete, I can delete them all for you, one at a time, in one tenth of the time I spent, writing just one of my articles you deleted at the flick of a button without bothering to read it enough to see its own private agenda. You don't seriusly expect to get any pitty from me for you hard labor! --Ohadaloni 00:54, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Er, I doubt you could. And, again, I am not an admin. But what you're doing right now is exactly what that guy that was sacked did; flamed incessantly. You are, I'm sure, about an inch away from being forever banned from entering this site again. Look at this travesty: it has since been 7 hours since I initially made contact with you. You are now arguing with an admin called Mhaille, a very good user called Modusoperandi, and a non-admin called Ljlego. This is bad. I will now paraphrase what I said to you initially: this makes people think you're a wanker. Don't make people think you're a wanker.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:07, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
You must be confusing me with someone else. I sacked myself the minute a single admin said I have an agenda. If he were Israeli I would ask him to proove to me his sister is not a whore. The rest is well known and is never said explicitely, just understood, and goes like this: But I have no sister. Well, then, I guess you're going to have a hard time prooving she is not a whore. The moral is that I have no intention of trying to proove to anyone that I have no agenda. Its a loosing battle, no matter what I do. And with all respect, saying I'm coming after you, is saying about the same, so if it happens to be relevant and you do not have a sister: Will you ever under some circumstances want to try to proove to anyone that she is not a whore? and please don't answer this, at least not literally. --Ohadaloni 01:51, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

Who's Coming After You?[edit | edit source]

You must be out of your freaking minds.

You are a multi million dollar corporation.

I am a person doing some surfing at home during nights and weekends, trying to tell my jokes in a new medium while bettering my comedic skills with your help.

The Uncyclopedia has some 23,000 pages. I have 12 of those.

Don't let my page fool you a bit. It was meant mostly for people to laugh at when they read it, nothing else.

I yield.

I will stop writing with the Uncyclopedia for a while and give it some thought.

--Ohadaloni 20:24, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

If this was a question, asking me to set Uncyclopedia new guidlines, then here they are:

The writer of the article will decide what the subject matter will be, and the admin will leave it be for at least seven days as the policy promised, and later decide if they want to trash it.

If you truly ask me for a suggestion, I just want to reiterate the arithmetic conclusion regarding this subject on this page:

Whatever it is that you do, you can do a week later, without loss to the average overall quality of the pages. If you want to accuratly calculate this, calculate the percentage of about to be deleted pages if you had a one week policy as compared with three hours. I almost have all the stats to calculate this myself: If the Un has 23,000 pages that were accumulated linearly for about two years. One week comes to about one percent, three hours comes to about zero percent. The other 99% are unaffected, either way. --Ohadaloni 22:35, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

You are mistaking Uncyclopedia for Wikipedia. The two are not the same. Uncyclopedia is not a corporation, and doesn't have a single penny to it's name. Everyone here is here for the enjoyment, admins are volunteers. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Well then, the wikipedia must be lying about their description of both, because the wikipedia says that wikipedia is a not for profit organization, while the google ad revenue on your left goes to the owner of the Uncyclopedia, a company the wikipedia made up, called Wikia, which is funded by many many millions of dollars, where as wikipedia had a budget of $70,000 for the year 2004, not even a single million in 2006, and the budget for 2007 will be reported in 2008. It also says they are actually the same organization, but only politically and emotionaly, not officialy. --Ohadaloni 22:52, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
They host the site. The site is made up of contributions from volunteers. Other than that you're right. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Uncyclopedia was founded on January 5, 2005, and quickly outgrew its original webhost.[3] On May 26, 2005, Angela Beesley, vice president of Wikia, Inc., announced that Wikia would host Uncyclopedia and that the site's license and domain name would remain unchanged.[3] Huang transferred ownership of the domain to Wikia, Inc. on July 10, 2006. (From the Uncyclopedia page at the wikipedia --Ohadaloni 01:04, 29 July 2007 (UTC))
Congratulations. The fact remains that they own a domain name. Without the people contributing here and wanting to continue doing so Wikia "own" nothing. As I maintained early, Uncyclopedia is NOT a multi-million dollar organisation. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Reciprocally, for having just discovered the meaning of the term Internet Forum --Ohadaloni 02:37, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

You are correct[edit | edit source]

The facts stated above where taken from the wikipedia, not the uncyclopedia. You know, At first I thought it would take me 14 days to evaluation my wants with the uncylopedia. 7 days for the deletions to start, and seven days for me to learn how to make it not happen to frequently.

I had never intended to come after anyone, nor did I ever say anything to this exact, though I must admit my page does posess such several strong hints. Much like uncyclopedia articles, it speaks the untruth. If I have truly made someone concerned, I appologize. rest assured that I am quite harmless, as I always was. So you deleted 3 pages of mine twice. so? I'm sure you have encoutered quite a few people by now who gave you a much bigger headache for much longer periods.

Take a deep breath. Have some tea. Try to follow our advice. We only appear to take things seriously because we are terminally unfunny people. I, myself, get confused for a log with some regularity by passersby. That doesn't sound right....Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:34, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Modus, he'a Israeli, YOU try drinking tea when it's 39 degrees and 90 percent humidity! ~Jewriken.GIF 20:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Yeah well, but we make better air conditioners than everyone else... --Ohadaloni 20:59, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh noes! Am I a pawn in a Jewish conspiracy on the checkers board of life? My Horoscope was right! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:57, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Like I said, if you come over and have some tea under the remote controled air conditioner on the ceiling, I will play you some Guitar. The tea will be excellent. The Guitar playing is only slighly better than Vogon poetry. --Ohadaloni 02:44, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

thanks, As I already mentioned, I did already take your first advice and took a deep breath.

It will just take a few days, after which I will start looking at whether its worthwhile trying to change my long time habits of associative wrting.

I have yet to hear a straight answer from anyone to the one basic question I can not live on the Uncyclopedia planet without some answer to :

Life, The Universe and Everything[edit | edit source]

What is the policy regarding the deletion of pages marked WIP, before seven days have passed, and is this policy adhered to to a reasonably reliable level?

The short answer is...its at the Admin's discretion. We have so many one-liner stubs added everyday that will never be expanded in anyway. My own usual method is to see how much work was put into the initial version that was WIP tagged, as an indicator as to whether the user has any intention of continuing. If all they manage is one or two lines, or in some cases less, you can hazzard a guess that that is as good as it will ever get. So it gets deleted. If someone comes back and asks to continue working on it, we can return it from the database for them to do so, but this doesn't happen very often. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
The long answer, if you read this page now, is: Assume it is always zero, and your page will be deleted immediately if it is not perfect. --Ohadaloni 02:48, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
It's more like assume your page can be deleted at any moment, but only if it's really, really short. (Or if it's just plain not funny, but I don't think that's the issue here.) Perfection is not required. Content, however, is.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 02:51, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
You hit the nail on the head. Its ok to assume that, but not if I had just created the page, and there must be some known admin policy that is adhered to in this respect 5:33

So what you are saying is[edit | edit source]

That for the admin, 7 days is a target base guideline for the accurate evaluation of quick prophecies.

After 5 five minutes of page existence the admin makes a prophecy about whehter the page will be ready in seven days or not. If he decides it will not be ready in seven days, he deletes it, even though I just went to the bathroom for a number one.

Great system.

Random is better.

Maybe you want to talk to the U.S. Robots and Mechanical Men Corporation and buy some admins from them.

But if you don't hire Susan Kalvin with them, may God be with you.

You guys live in a fantasy planet.

This is earth.

--Ohadaloni 21:09, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

Foundation and Earth? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
No. Actually in I, Robot, Asimov speaks of Robo-psychologist Susan Kalvin, top robot specialist of U.S. Robots and Mechanical Men, and the hero character of the book. --Ohadaloni 21:32, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Yeah, I know, I have quite a collection of the late Mister Asimov's works. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Nerds... Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 21:40, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Its just one side of us, you know. Do some more reading, like us nerds do, and maybe you'll discover you are not as wrong as you think you are. --Ohadaloni 22:19, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
/me looks up from Chapterhouse Dune. Oh, great. Thanks for interrupting. I've lost my place. Now I have to start the Dune series all over again. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:33, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Yeah, Well, What do you know. Life is not a dick. Always hard. --Ohadaloni 01:03, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

Its not that difficult, you know[edit | edit source]

All you have to do to not violently delete pages unctrollably is look at the date of last midification before you decide a page is abandoned by their writer.

Do you really think that if you had a million stubs a day rather than a hundered, then deleting them earlier means deleting more of them?

Maybe you want to brush up on pre-school arithmetic?

Thanks for coming to Uncyclopedia and showing us the error of our ways. How we've survived the last few years I just don't know. Short answer to your question is yes. If we didn't deal with the crappy little ill thought-out one-liners there and then, then within a week the site would be cluttered with them, making more work for everyone. If someone puts a bit of extra work, then we're more than happy to cut them some slack and even help make something grow. For example, see Tangerine Dream which has every chance of becoming a nice little article. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
nice little page is so limy condesending. Can you show me a nice little page that you created, being that you are here for two years and an ambassador of the English language to our planet? Ohad 7/29 5:39PM
Not everyone from Britain is Douglas Adams

Ohad Aloni on Douglas Adams

It wasn't meant as a putdown, the exact opposite. With regards to my work, I have no intention of getting into a pissing contest. You can see the major articles I've created on my userpage. Might I recommend Oscar Wilde or Biggles, my first and last featured articles. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Sorry. I did not mean this literally either and have no intention to join this pissing contest offer. It was my invite, given that you have already seen my pages, but I never intended this to be serious. I promise to look at these pages, given you mentioned them, but separate of this debate. Ohad 6:38 after a quick guitar break. (No, I did not break it this time).
And if my language is beginning to sound a bit irreverant again, you should take this as a compliment. It must mean you are doing something right to get me back into non-serious moog. I meant mood, damn you Freud. Ohad 7/29 6:42PM can I edit pages yet?
Let the games begin. I started reading the wilde page. Not to my surprise at this stage, my Freudian agression lead me to immediately say to myself: just my luck, a Britsh mentor for a young Israeli comedian. While I adore thr British style of writing humour, it is simply not something I can do. I am too well trained with being very sarcastic, and will tend to have my humour related to death, violence, sex, and porfanities. The irreverence is also very high, but with the absence of the author name, it is not recieved as such, which is why I was surprised with your reaction to my condesending general atmosphere in my own page. Its my page, how can anyone take this personally. My few comments in the pages of other I tried to keep reserved. It was difficult to understand at first in what pages what kind of language is expected. OK (short for All Correct), I'm signed in. But I'd like to continue conversing with you on a separate page here, and recollected my intentions there. This will be in place of a dual folder system, but will also serve is a place for you to mentor me at the same time. This will aleviate my concerned somewhat, because at least if someone deletes a page I created, I will ask you on this page what to do next, detailing my intentions with respect to the specific page. We will pre-agree that this page will contain no jokes whatsoever, and both try to adhere to that, so at least we know there is no ambiguity with respect to intentions. Its not like you have to do anything, just know that it exists. lets call it, User:Ohadaloni/Will You Please Be Serious for a Split Sec

--Ohadaloni 17:12, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

Then why not advertize a policy that says what it is that you do, rather than misleading with a 7 day policy, while you more often than not delete pages in less than 3 hours (and I think by now you know me well enough to know my gut judgement on this is not far off with respect to the pages I have added. While the five minutes stated above were just to make a point clear, this one is a gut feel, but an honest evaluation of my experience in the past few days). The smart ass comment boxes are great if they said the correct things, like: "If the crack head submitter thinks s/he can leave an emty stub and halucinate for three hours and still see her/his page when s/he gets back, s/he is already halucinating." (Not sure if the Tangerine Dream comment was a compliment for me, a mistaken reprimand, or a comment for someone else to read. I have yet to see a single character on this page I did not write myself. The same goes for all my pages, as listed on my page. Statistically at least, nobody but the admins has yet seen my pages. My oldest page is about 4 days old. The Tadream page was also originally nearly empty, but was not deleted and was placed in ICU as if I abandoned it in less then three hours [I just noticed someone did aleady add a few lines in the LSD section and the sex section enjoyed some nicer realigment of the text with the quote, thanks, whomever --Ohadaloni 22:03, 28 July 2007 (UTC)]) --Ohadaloni 21:55, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
But it IS in the Beginners Guide. You're choosing to just focus on the WIP tag, if you read through the basic guide you'll see "Uncyclopedia is for full-featured articles. These can be long or shorter than long, but not short short. They typically have several sections and an image or four." Now as the articles that were deleted of your contains NO content other than a WIP tag I think we can safely put them in the "short short" category. :) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
And if you follow the list of my pages that were not deleted, and trust me or check the logs to see that I am truly responsible still for more than 95% percent of content, then you must understand they were created through the exact same process, first with a nearly empty stub, slowly to grow into meaningful content. In some cases the admins misssed them for just a few hours more, until I augmented them enough. In other cases they were tagged ICU for croos admin communications so as not to delete them because they like the title and the very little content, still assuming I abandoned the pages, still I was the one later augmenting them. There were a few hours there two nights ago, where I had to carfully judge and select to leave for later those pages they already marked ICU, knowing I can afford it, while I know other pages will get deleted in a few hours if I don't augment. This is nice stressfull card game I can play as an initiation phase, but I will not make pleasure of making this a habit. Given I have also received explicit hostile verbiage from more than one admin, with no one to take my side, I decided I will only write in this page comments to writers and leave all other Un page alone for a while, including my own page. I will still keep passive watch on the evolution of the pages I have already created, and at some point later decide if I want to continue writing in this forum. I have already decide I have no intention of composing a private folder system of WIP pages under my private area for the purpose of copying them to the true pages when they are ready. I am a PHP professional and this is what I do for a living for %50 an hour. If Wikia wishes to retain my services, I am open for negotiation, even if they prefer me to write bad jokes rather than good software for this price. --Ohadaloni 23:50, 28 July 2007 (UTC)
Ewww...PHP...I'm a ColdFusion man myself. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
No Comment --Ohadaloni 02:56, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

Clarity, Transparency, Predictability[edit | edit source]

I am a volunteer. As such I can have no demands of the admin activities other than that which is reasonably expected to be delivered to all writers. --Ohadaloni 23:36, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

WTF are you talking about? Just create articles that look like articles from the very start, or create articles in your namespace. --THE 17:18, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

The World in A-Minor[edit | edit source]

Circumspection. Circumcision.

5,000 edits.

You are a turkey.

I am the walrus.

Goo goo gajoob.

Snape battles with cancer, but dies from an overdose of Vicodin on page 69.

Am I doing it right? --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 22:11, 28 July 2007 (UTC)

For the most part you are[edit | edit source]

You must be a warlock, because I have not written in the Un on any of the personal and touchy issues you are addressing:

Did you know that John Lennon once told a reporter that he got the tune for the song when he heard an ambulance passing by?

And how did you know those same two notes are used obsessivly in my clame to fame Guitar Piece which is in A minor, the link to which I put on this page only after the clone wars have started?

And how did you know that professor snape is the idol of the score writer for this very same A minor sequence?

And how did you know that snape is also the irreverent Die Hard character from which I stole some of the wording for my article page adjacent to this one?

My two cents[edit | edit source]

Greetings. I am a newbie here — or at least I was, very, very recently — and I would really like to be able to say I know what it feels like to have your pages mysteriously deleted, but I don't, so I'm not going to bother lying. Anyway, I was exploring the site for the first few days of my n00bhood and happened upon some user called Famine's userpage. And from his userpage I found a link: User:Famine/Why. And it was that that, right from the start, gave me quite a good idea of what the admins have to go through around here. Or at least, somewhat of an idea. (Doing is one thing, reading is another. It's like saying you have a pretty good idea how to wrestle crocs because you saw someone do it on TV.) That and UN:JOB — I'd suggest reading them to understand why the hell it is that things get deleted.

Blah blah blah hard work and effort yes sure I can understand that. But here's how I see it: Once an article is in the mainspace, its job is to entertain. You can get feedback through Pee Review and comments, and help from other users, but if you're going to put hard work and effort into something that's going out into the open like that, at least finish it.

Userspace is a totally different Universe. It's like the trenches in a warzone. You can put any crap you want in your userspace and have it half-finished or not at all. No one will care, because at that point, it's yours. If it's in the mainspace, you'd better be prepared to lose it to edits and disinterest, unless of course people actually like it. {{construction}} and the like are there just to keep an article alive for a little bit longer than usual (seven days, five days, whatever). They're not there to excuse a short article.

Moral of the story: Put the damn things in your userspace if you want to keep them. Mainspace is taking a risk. People will either like it, or they won't. Userspace is (virtually) guaranteed to be left alone. You can work for ages in userspace and then magically move it into mainspace if you want. So seriously. Shut up. Please.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 01:16, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

and this is indeed what I have stopped doing only in the past few days. I stand corrected and will take your advice: my main blog site --Ohadaloni 04:22, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

By the by[edit | edit source]

I'm feeling so nice tonight I've moved Anaesthetic into your userspace for you. You can now find it at User:Ohadaloni/Anaesthetic.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 03:00, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

I'm glad at least some can see the value of having a page by this name, even if I have yet to make it funny. Please don't take this too personally, but like the other admins, you have not even began to try and understand the issue at hand, resulting in yet some more futile effort on your part. I appologize for having mislead you in my answer before. It just did seem like a good idea at the time to get you also involved in this silly mess. Rest assured this page by now contains all the information I need and I have no further questions nor do I need any asisstance. I stopped writing because I am evaluating still the main problem, which I will now rephrase plainer, at the expense of being less explanatory: Will the extra effort of keeping a dual web like this, is worth the effort. My original joining the Uncyclopedia had no such concern, nor was it a concern while the admins were deleting my pages, as long as they did not directly object to my adding them. It is when they started saying: don't do that again when the problems started. While my page presents things in an over ireverrent style as I could possibly invent for the purpose, it is truthful in displaying my intentions, which I will now summarize: I will leave quickly if asked, my intention is to create many cross referencing pages from which the humour will come out as a composite, all of which will be independently 'funny' and to high standards in my opinion, and expect pages to be deleted even maybe most at first or even later. But I did not have a clue, nor did the smart ass comments even hint, the the seven day grace period is a made up story that will never be adhered to under any circumstances, and working with the Uncyclopedia is like labour. I must first create comedic work in my own space, and only when its right, install/submit it like a new version of a piece of software. No thanks, I do this for money. To do my own work in my home space, I don't need the Uncyclopedia funding. I have several websites hosted with acenet. for which I pay for the service, where I only occupy about 1-2% of the 4000 gig disk quota for each of them. I doubt if my Uncyclopedia disk consumtion is more than 1% of even that, and still most of the space there is occupied not by my writing, but rather by the enourmous logging and tracking facilities around it. Let me also remind you also that even the software itself is free, and I can install it on one of the linux boxes at home in a jiffy. It is even in php, so I can even fix it if it has bugs. All this is not improtant. What is important that I get to lol half the night while writing jokes. This is beacuse I scan many pages quickly. Said pages are written by good comedians, at least some of them. -------- As long as the forth grade calculus I presented in this page is not addressed by someone, it will be difficult to convince me that the admin actions towards me are driven by anything but jealousy and shear hatered, and absolutly nothing else. I believe they do adhere to this policy for the most part with respect to others, or else I truly do not understand how this organization lasted the first week, and when my understanding is that remote, I had better stay away, for shear paranoya, and no further explanation is necessary ------ in sohrt, I think its more like Bye the Bye, no offense and nothing personal --Ohadaloni 03:56, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
The idea is, once it's in the mainspace, the page, exactly the way it is, at that precise moment, is judged to be either (a) going somewhere or (b) not. But this is beside the point. Obviously you're finished here, or at least this is what I gather, because interpreting your comments is like trying to read dialogue from Ignatius from A Confederacy of Dunces. But I am curious: What do you mean by "Uncyclopedia funding" or doing things "for money"? This is a wiki, it's totally nonprofit, completely volunteer work. None of us get paid. Ever. (Minus once a year, you might get $20 if you win a contest.) My apologies you were so led astray.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 03:57, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Jesus, these americans will never let me sleep tonite, let alone my FHS derranged cat. I'll just make a short comment: This page and talk was supposed to try to solve My problem, and you are trying to solve the problems of the Uncyclopedia. Its nice that you know the problems of the Uncyclopedia. Study my problem, or just leave it be --Ohadaloni 04:09, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
I am only trying to assist you in your problem. But interpret it as you will. I didn't bring up any problems of Uncyclopedia. And I don't care about your goddamn cat. For the love of insert deity here, I'm just trying to understand what the hell you're trying to do and assist you appropriately.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 04:13, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
And how will you succeed if you do not care enough to read this page and give it some thought before your next answer. How much effort are you truly willing to put in? Will you copy all my pages to your own home space and try to do what you are suggesting for me to do? I can teach you many tricks based on much experience, and slowly you will become effective not making too many mistakes and make better use of the time. But all this is irrelvant. Like I said, this is what I do for money. --Ohadaloni 04:19, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
I have read the whole page. I've read all your responses. I've read everything. And you're still not making any sense. By the By I've ICU'd your FHS article. Don't worry, I can teach you many tricks on improving articles based on some experience, and slowly you will become more effective on not making too many mistakes and making better use of your humor skills. But first, you have to stop attacking me and claiming me ignorant. You follow our rules. Nobody cares if you do this for money elsewhere, or whatever. If you want to stay here, I and I'm sure others *cough* can help. If you want to try and change a system that's been in place from the beginning of perhaps time itself, leave now.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 04:24, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Aren't you forgetting I have already been both fired and self fired. I am not at this stage trying to get re-hired to the uncyclopedia. Any snide remarks I made, were made sarcastically. There is nothing personal here and we are not at war. Not to threaten or anything, but it by now should be clear to anyone that if I had a secret agenda, I would probably employ some other tactics. Its not like the Guitar comment was said in truthfulness either. I have all the means to be sufficiently malicious to give the lawyers of all three related companies a serious headache for many years to come. Posessing a gun does not mean you will ever point it at anyone. If you ever posessed one, you would know that. I am not at war with anyone and have no intention to hurt niether you, nor the uncyclopedia in any way. My purpose in readdressing the admins on this page is to reassure the readers and alleviate any such concerns. My skills are irrelevant to my harm potential. I am absolutely harmless, and never intended anything else. What is more concerning than the rest, is that the admins, youself included, take offense at making fun of their activities. No one is perfect, and, for example (to this point), advocating the stagnation of the poor encyclopedia policies which are impossible for the admins themselves to follow, is a sure way to bring down the company, despite your boasting. While you may have lasted without me for two years, so did every company on the planet that died in 2.1 years, and most of them did. In human terms, the fact that you survived for two years is great, but is no insurance or recipe for anything. What is a recipe for success is changing the policies and sometimes entire focus of activity as the needs change. This is not my opinion, nor an advice anyone knows how to follow. It is my interpretation of the opinion of a person named Andy Groves in a book called Only the Paranoid Survive. It will be sad if only in the post mortum of several years to come, someone would do some research and find this page not too unique, just being somewhat more detailed, hinting to the poor organization of the company, later to grow. If I have caused so much headache for so many admins as they claim in just 5 days, shouldn't there be some Second Tier signle person with a true name assigned to this case and talk to me with a pre-declared no joke context? This is what better organizations do in such cases, regardless of how private or non profit they are. If you think my writings are of any value to the uncyclopedia, than this is somewhat expected. If you believe the uncyclopedia is just doing me a favor for having me around, then it needn't bother. Ohad 3:10PM
Fired? What the B'clav are you smoking? I think you're way missing the point of what a bleeding wiki is. Jesus Christ on a stick... (gives up)  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 16:45, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Just for your records, only one Admin has posted on your talk page, and that's me. Everyone else posting here are just interested regular users trying to help someone out. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
If you are already taking all the credit, Will you then be so kind and delete some of the pages I have created that do not adhere to any standards. Being that you are the person who banned ny editing priviledges after I have already declared I will not write further in any page but this one, for having replied with a snide remark at you, on this page. Anaesthetic at least, is a disgrace for both me and the uncyclopedia at this stage. You can not have public pages of the uncyclopedia with redirects to peoples home page folders. It makes the admins completely loose control, in fact, better hide the fact that the software allows to do that, and suggest a software fix. Article pages should never refer to user space. A software fix in this respect is probably a warning, as this is still a wiki, but such references should be the highest priority for speedy deletion by admins. The public will see these pages, and they are well known to be junk, much like uncompilable code. Ohad 3:52PM
Maybe you also want to follow up on this with some more dedication, so at least I will use this space to collect my notes: Anaesthetic was supposed to be a page describing the relationship between Aesthetics and Drug Use, or in other words, halucinations. I have already come up witha longer list than thus far presented for different acronims for LSD and intented a separate, related disambiguation page on LSD, possibly with some separate articles. -- 4:02

Epilog[edit | edit source]

Stardate 7/29/2007, 11:55 AM Israel local time, by Ohadaloni,, forced to use an unknown IP address, and making an exception just this once.

This is my last entry in this page. As declared and can be verified by all from the history logs, I have not added a single note on any of my pages, nor on talk pages, since this skermish started. Only this page. I have just added yet one more nasty reply to yet another nasty admin comment and was completly banned by Mr. maybeAwhile for the reason of trashing my own talk page with presumably over nasty replies to the admin comments. The reply for which I was banned was: Nice to know threats are excercised whereever power is around. (show yourself to the original text above and ban me later for the inaccuracy of this self quote).

If there are any non SS readers to this page, please be advised: This is a wiki, and anyone can write anything, regardless of any imaginary IP control Mr. mayBeAwhile and others believe they might have. I myself do not exist, and am just an invention of Uncyclopdia admins trying to define the word Satan in a conference of minds. The conference was held on this page, hence my name.

See Ya - Not.

This user was banned from leaving signatures on her work.

Anaesthetic - having sufffered three of my attempts to make something funny of this page, only to quickly discover I have to reinvent the concept time and again - remains in its last and worst iteration, a public ugly boring, near empty page bearing my signature, so to speak, on account of the helpful acts of one of the admins, placing a REDIRECT in the public page, pointing to my space. This solves my problem, while not solving any of that of the uncyclopedia, meaning no admin in their right mind will ever let me take this as a habit, or chaos will really be there forever. He did say she was high at the time, so please cut them some slack and just fix the page, thanks. I will know it was fixed when the link in this paragraph turns red, and have no intention of trying to fix this nor track it, save this comment. This talk page I will continue to monitor and reply if asked anything. -- Ohadaloni, (banned) 7/29 12:48PM Israel Time

By the by, the missing Wikia section was intended. The entire Khmer Rouge story is there to describe the twelve year old uncyclopedia admins assassinating young pages of the uncyclopedia while expressing comunist ideals. Maybe you want to delete this page or the reference to wikia, before anyone finds out why this page was created. Ohad 1:47PM

My Secret Agenda was Two Hands On the Neck[edit | edit source]

Sad but true. There is only one other guy in Israel I know who plays the Guitar with two hands on the neck, and he is in Beer Sheva. I was hoping to meat others, as with any forum, and the Stanley Jordan page would have been awesome. Ohad 14:03

You had a two hour ban (get over it, I'm an Admin and if you check how many times I've been banned you'd be surprised). People get banned for many reasons, in this case it was hoped that you'd take some time to actually read what people are saying to you and see how they are trying to help.
You are not seriously trying to still say that I didn't, I hope. I have by now written more content on the subject on this page alone. Did you really believe me when I said I can write faster than I can read?
As it was me that brought up the "agenda" comment let me address what I was talking about. Its more than clear from your comments that you have some kind of issue with Admins on Wikipedia, and that you see some kind of connection between Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia. Only a very, very small minority of our Admins are also Admins on Wikipedia (I can only think of two) and most, like me, have nothing to do with Wikipedia at all.
At is even clearer if you look at my wikipedia page. What is not so clear, is that those issues were resolved.
As an example, the Feline Hyperesthesia Syndrome page is my creation, even though if you look at it it still does not fit wikipedia standards and has little verifiable truths. Unbenowth to the Wikipedia admins, my cat Nekko has FHS, and is alive despite long lasting continuous recommendations by vets to put her to sleep. It is a rare disease and virtually anything said about it is impossible to verify, yet there are many internet pages with very depressed ex cat owners, while Nekko is alive and well due to my invented treatment of this disease. There are also many documents on the subject on the internet, and it was difficult to convince the wiki admins this so rare and uninteresting disease deserves a page. This page is now there, and there are many FHS experts out there, that now that it exists, will hopefully fill it in with some information for the few thousand FHS pet owners in the world who care. Yes, in an academic context, there are also these discussions, expressing differences of opinion. It was not a war there, nor is it here. The subject matter is diffrent here. This is a comedy arena, and the encyclopedic argument does not make sense, to me at least. While wikiing humour is great, anm artistic idea sprouts from its originator. It is not common knowledge that other people might possess, and it makes perfect senses to demand that a creator of a page will finish it to standards set by the company. What it and boils down to is just this one single dilemma, for me, and maybe not many others, but I can not possibly be unique with this: A single page of mine never stands alone. Creating a web of pages in my home space is not an option. Thepolicies as advertized I was already adhering to, they more than suffice in my case. They do say explicitely a week for WIPs. As I created several pages at once, all buiding up in my mind as I write, I need at least two days. I also need to be re-assured I weill not be yelled at if I did happen to not get to it on time, nor do I expect to be yelled at if once I do return to it, I create it again. The second time I created pages, it was when I was ready, in each case, to focus on that particular page, while the admins so this as a hacker at war, and deleted them much faster. As per your last statement, maybe all of them were also you, but I can hardly think this is the case. I am not sure if the wiki software logs can give you an easy way to tell huffs by creator, bot I can tell you we are talking about maybe a handful or so. Its not like I was writing hack to attack the uncyclopedia. I was just wrting some jokes thjat not have been as funny when the hours grew longer and the THC levels grew higher. that is all. 4:42
But, and this is an important point, no one cares about what you did at Wikipedia. THIS is Uncyclopedia. Don't mix the two together. You will be judged by how you act here, please afford us the same. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I was not the one who brought it up. You did. And not for the firs time. 4:52
Actually, you did. If you go back and look at your comments in the talk page of Tangerine Dream for example. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Your attitude to some of the users, many who have been working hard to make this site a better place for a number of years, is at times insulting and uncalled for. Your inability to follow a basic set of guidelines, or to listen to advice when offered takes a great deal of skill.
Can you please be specific or give qutes from the logs, here? I never approached anyone. All I have is comments on my own page with extreme irreverence. I responded with the same style, only when I was approched, and it was You who first landed me into this attitute. Being an Israeli, I am well versed with the arcastic language, but I have by now I should think stated clearly many times, that there was no such ill intention, and if you follow my style of writing since the clone wars started, I am since infintely more reserved, and took a wikipedia tone of discussion, thuogh such a clone war inline macro would ot have passed my standards if this discussion were to take place on the wikipedia pages. 4:49

As you've pointed out a number of times, you've been here less than a week. I've been here for over two years, and many of the people who have tried to help you have been here a long time too, and in that time you learn ways to deal with the amount of cruft that gets posted on the site. Considerably more articles are deleted at birth than ever make the grade, and as I've already explained to you the main reason is a lack of effort from the off which is viewed as a major sign of the intention of the submitter, though quality is also a factor as much as quantity.
And would you think by now you should be able to evaluate somewhat more intelligently, having so much more detail in my case, whether I am a candidate to fit in the general croud you are describing for which your deletions are so speedy? Isn't the fact that I spent hours talkng to you on this page even a hint to you that I spent as much time and thought creating the pages that I did rathe than saying, like you did in thecase of the Tangerine Dream page, that while I created it it only looks nice thanks to the work of others, never bothering to check the flasehood or truthfulness of this hinted accusation neither with me nor with the wiki software history logs 4:59

If we make an exception for your empty WIP pages, then why shouldn't we do the same for everyone else? The answer is simple numbers. Thats the way it is, and the way it has to be.
You are absolutly correct. There is no point in making any exceptions in any case. This just creates more chaos. It is a matter of practicality. As long is this has trnspired and you see I am the page creator, and as was so elquently put: The seven day period is a suggestion for admins, over time it wasn't working, and the policy is now: admin discretion. All I said was follow this policy then, use your descetion, see my name, know from this interaction that if I wrote WIP, I WILL return, within two days as stated, and know I am still not infalliable, and if I do not return to this page, delete it two days later, but don't yell at me, not for having neglected this page, nor for maliciously returning it to place to work on it, as if I have a secret agenda. By the way, this whole discussion is futile if the wiki software can not point you at a list of X old day pages with the same ease of zero days old pages. Such report should also detail chanes VS creation and whether the changes were made by the originator (before you scrutiny the details of the individual page).
Now, once your ban expires, which should be anytime soon, as it was only a two hour one, you'll be able to edit pages again. My advice would be to read the Beginners Guide again, and then to start building up something like the Tangerine Dream article, or to create something in your userspace. If clear you have an ability to write, I'd love to see you put all this behind you and to create a masterpiece. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
With all respect, I have no intention of re-reading the beginners guide ever again, nor do I intend to create any pages in my user space, for any reason. Thanks for letting me know the ban was not permanent. Too little. Too late. 5:12
With this in mind, you have yet to answer what will be your attitute in the first two days of my next page, and adhere to whatever it is that you tell me in this respect, if I am to attempt it.

DSM-IV - a Storm in a cup of tea[edit | edit source]

What really happened was that I was preparing the Tangerine Dream page. In passing, I had to research what wikpedia has to say about Tangerine Dream, one of my favored, but of which I have little knowledge. Also, I was researching the wikipedia page on new age, as this is not my janner at all, with the exception of Tangerine Dream, and I know little of New Age and its history. I thought it important to study some new age facts for this purpose, as it will surely interest me to know more on the subject. It goes without saying I was also scrutinizing the new age page at the uncyclopedia to see what there I can take advatage of, in the Tangerine Dream page. I thought it hilarious that the DSM-IV was referenced from this page as the DSM-VI and intended to create a DSM-VI spoof page of the DSM-IV, of which I have sufficient knowledge, and never got around to work on it. The DSM page I discovered later, and for lack of my time, I decided it is good enough to just redirect there, as it does speak of the same, though the level of remoteness from the truth was not to my liking, but I can always create a separate DSM-VI page later, spoofing the DSM-IV more directly. The page was first created with little or no content, huffed in about three hours, and quickly reappeared as a redirect to the dsm page, after I used google to scan the uncyclopedia for DSM-IV, and found the Dsm page. The rest was just sarcastic comments on my part taken the wrong way. In Israel, they would have been considered extremly gentle in the context of a comedic arena. -- Ohad 2:38PM

Um Wtf R U Smkng[edit | edit source]

Seriously --

14:10, 29 July 2007

thanks. Ohad 4:14
On second thought, maybe you want to be my first voter in the next uncylopedia democratic elections. Will you please read the wikipedia page regarding Feline Hyperesthesia Syndrome, and later, or in tandem, or before, or not at all, Feline Hyperesthesia Syndrome and Mad Cat Disease. :-) 5:21
Uncyclopedia democratic elections? Man, whatever you're on, I want some.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 16:48, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

A Couple of Points[edit | edit source]

You wrote: "(Did you see my talk page in the past few minutes?) It suffered an admin air raid the size only the Israeli Airforce could raise, so you must have had a secret part." (My italics, folks. RabbiTechno)

One, you seen to think I am admin - this is not the case, I am not. Two, to be absolutely honest, you didn't exactly endear yourself to many people. You asked several of us why your articles were being deleted, and people gave you some well-meant advice in an effort to help and some guidance to get you on the path of becoming a productive member of the community. OK, you suffered a bit of our legendary n00b-unfriendliness from a few users and perhaps the 'humour' (or at least what passes for it round here) can be a bit robust sometimes, but it's really not worth taking these things seriously. With all the thousands of people that contribute articles to the wiki, you can be sure you were not singled out for 'special mistreatment.' If you look at the Tangerine Dream article, you'll see that other people, most notably Mhaille, also added to it in an effort to get it shipshape. Now, I have not poked around too much to see what exactly went on, but from what I understand you placed a few rather impolite messages on certain people's talkpages - I'm sure you can see that doing so wasn't going to win you many friends. Uncyc is unusually close-knit for an online community (hence the various 'cabal' jokes - there is, of course, no cabal...) and attacking a few people will generally turn the entire herd against you. Anyway, it seems you are not banned, which is a good thing. One other thing about Uncyc is we are a remarkably forgiving group of people - even some of the very worst vandals have been welcomed with open arms once they repented and started to help out/write articles. We are (or at least most of us are) very well aware that we were all noobs once (not that long ago in my case) and a lot of people here will give you all the help and advice you need, just so long as you are polite. Bear that in mind, and you'll get a second chance. We don't want to see you get banned :) RabbiTechno 16:44, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

I never said you are an admin. But you must be American so this statement might require some appologetic clarification. It meant to say something along these lines: It is inconceivable that such a huge attack would be taken at me for this tiny little skermish of a weekend of surfing. The attack was way too strong for an uncyclopedia admin conspiracy against me, and it is therefore some Jewish conspiracy, like the Protocols of Zion, given that the Jewish people are the only ones that can raise this much hell in so little time. It was meant as a statement of brotherhood with extreme irreverence and sarcasm on my part, but none aimed at your direction. In passing I also happened to have stated I know you are not an admin. I thought at least this part was obvious. --Ohadaloni 17:40, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Keep this up, and this is how you'll be viewing the herd... Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 18:51, 29 July 2007 (UTC) MAYBE you want to check up on your taste buds. They could use some work --Ohadaloni 19:22, 29 July 2007 (UTC) It's a joke, see, this is the image you get when you're blocked, as you may or may not soon find out.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 19:27, 29 July 2007 (UTC) I am already blocked, you Moron, hadn't you noticed I have been writing this page with no login through the day, having been banned 20 hours after I resigned anyway. Violent threats will get you no where, nor the corresponding apologetics. If you do not remove this violent threat from my page, I will come after you, personally, and no herd will save you . ------ Getting back to the image, you are a Moron if you believe anyone can ever be banned from the Un. It a code we must accept, I am banned because I agree not to write, nothing else. I have had an investment of two days of labour in the Un, surely you have some more work I can trash. This is cyberspace. Its not like I intended to take my guitar to hop on a plane to play you my Vogon poetry. But I can give a Mad Cat Disease headache of the first degree, eliminating retroactively all your work for the Un. The herd will have to dig the history logs for years to save you. Maybe you want to reconsider your violent behaviour before the uncyclopedia lawyers start interfering with these talks, and take this whole image and verbiage off this page • Last comment on the image, because commenting on images is stupid. Vandalism can be reverted in seconds, don't kid yourself. Anything you do can be undone pretty quickly. And yes, people do get infinibanned. If you'd like to start vandalizing my work, I'd suggest going for Kitchen sink, Bathroom humor, and Why?:Put Down the Duckie? to start. Of course, you'll be banned soon afterwards, but...  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 As you can see, you have manage to proove to ebveryone you are indeed in possesion of the IQ level I have mentioned. The smarter people with the Un know very well that going through logs and reverting work is far more labour than creating chaos. Let me remind you that the bible teaches from the first verse that chaos is not something that takes time to create. For those people with the Un who might be concerned from my latest threats, rest assured I am as consistent as before and I have no intention of following any of my verbiage in this box. It was just an IQ test, and you failed miserably. Second time I am banned for upsetting an admin not letting them have their way on my own talk page. Have fun banning the others. Ohad 7/29 19:08PM Israel time.
[Getting off the image]If you were blocked, you wouldn't be writing. Please do not call me a moron. It's impolite. I did not threaten you, I said "may or may not". Anyone "may or may not" be blocked. It's either one or the other. Anyway, how do you propose to come after me? I'm curious.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 19:35, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
regarding your infinite forgiveness: as a side comment first, who is we? didn't you say you are not an admin? You and who else? I have yet to be convinced anyone was hurt from any direct action of mine before I care whether the collective you is forgiving or not, with all respect, and let the herds come and paint baby pictures on my page. Its a moral issue. If I am convinced I actually hurt someone, I will not sleep until I have appeased them, but I can not take such morals to where they apply to groups of people of more than one at a time. Much like the admins of which you are not a part, you also took offense, accusing me of none of my doing, herding the rest to continue to air raid me. --Ohadaloni 18:36, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

No, I am not an admin. Never have been, and never will be if I have anything to do with it. Work without getting paid for it? Sod that. We refers to those of us who are regular users/contributors to Uncyc. Nothing you have said has offended me in any way - and I imagine that goes for everyone else here too - we are, as a whole, long-term Netizens who stopped being offended by names that appear on our screens a long time ago. As for herding...Herding Uncyclopedians? You'll be familiar with the old saying about herding cats, I assume? RabbiTechno 18:44, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

I was not the one to come up with term herd. It was you who first described this tribal effect of the Un comuunity. As is self evident from the content of this page you were not wrong. Trying to negate your original thoughts with protecting idioms is great for comedy, but we are not quite at that stage yet. I was banned some 20 hours after I had already resigned of all activities other than this talk page. I was banned because a Mr. Mahille didn't like one of my smart ass replies to one of his smart ass attacks. It is great that I am now un-banned, but who exactly is going to unresign me? I have yet to hear one person from the herd either taking my side or at least talk seriously about one of the many issues I was accused of. If there is such a herd, I wouldn't even want to be the master herder, and even if they all started with verbiage of worship. I prefer living in a Tangerine Dream world where the idioms you are quoting are correct. If you think I may or may not kill you is not a threat, ask a judge, he will surely tell you you are a Moron. -Ohadaloni 19:15, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

In regards to tangerine dream, I should also take offense, but your text is too factless to take seriously. This is one of my favorite bands and would not have a page in the Un for some years to come. I still own 95% of content to this day. His additions were cosmetic, and the minor changes in the LSD section were done in poor taste. A quote of mine was changed to a much better one, to my joy. In FHS, The cosmetic changes neglected to see the connection between image and content and rasied the Mad Cow away from the Treatment section where the text and image text correlate. Don't mistake the fact that you see nice pages with admin history in them to say they bettered it, or that they were any less nicer before. In many cases, they also make them worse, especially in the opnion of the original author who never got a chance to stretch his brain to the fullest just yet.
When you say "your text,' are you referring to me? Mine would be somewhat factless, since I haven't added any text to the article. As for "you see nice pages with admin history in them to say they bettered it, or that they were any less nicer before", Mhaille's adminship is by the by. He is known as a good contributor here and is a skillful writer. His contributions save the page. How exactly can you say that Tangerine Dream "would not have a page in the Un for some years to come?" Do you have a crystal ball? RabbiTechno 18:35, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
No. I meant your text right here, expressing very little knowledge regarding the evebnts and short evolution of the Tangerine Dream page. --Ohadaloni 18:46, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh, Ohladoni. I really don't know what to say to you anymore. I've tried, and so many other people have too, but it just doesn't work. All my life, I have had a motto which I try my very utmost to live by, which is to be pleasant, be polite and be helpful. I'm finding this very difficult at the moment, and as a result I'm going to take time out from this conversation. No doubt we shall continue when I'm next online. RabbiTechno 18:53, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
But I do take offense when you say you assume from the comments of the admins on this page that I was impolite with them. Why make such statements if you do not know any of the facts, and statedly so? In my opinion, the perceived impoliteness came mostly from my sarcastic language and the fact they never bothered to read what I wrote them, much like when they deleted my articles.
Sarcasm is a form of impoliteness...  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 17:48, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
If this is an admin policy, then I surely do not have a home here. I normally Die Hard, but thanks for the advice. --Ohadaloni 17:55, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
If what's an admin policy? Sarcasm = Impolite. It's called etiquette.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 17:58, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
If it is an admin policy to remove sarcasm from the pages, lets say... How can one be impolite to the general public, when one is not George Bush or something high uplike that?
Oh, no, no, no, no. Not sarcasm from the pages. I'm talking about sarcasm when you're trying to communicate with people that have been here longer than you and actually know what they're talking about.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 18:30, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh, and by the way, if you have been smoking anything interesting, share it next time ;) RabbiTechno
You are invited. Its not teribly interesting. I've spent 13 years in the states. I wouldn't want to come here for cigarrettes. They are too cheap here. --Ohadaloni 17:40, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
"In passing I also happened to have stated I know you are not an admin. I thought at least this part was obvious." Not during conversation with me, you didn't. I have not taken the time to read through all of your other conversations. Oh, and by the way, I'm not American either - I'm Welsh. RabbiTechno 17:51, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
In passing, meaning, in passing in the course of writing this very same airforce line - the original comment to you on your page. It is implied that if I accuse you for the attack for being Jewish and not and admin, that means two things are implied: 1. You are Jewish, part of the Jewish conspiracy. 2. You are not an admin, as in, not representing the admin conspiracy. --Ohadaloni 18:25, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
These messages are getting increasingly incoherent, Ohadolini. I accuse you for the attack for being Jewish and not an admin, that means two things are implied: 1. You are Jewish, part of the Jewish conspiracy. 2. You are not an admin, as in, not representing the admin conspiracy. WTF are you talking about? Admin conspiracy? --THE 18:29, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Oh, and btw: "And finally, do not write nasty messages to admins on their talk pages," to quote Ljlego. That's why. RabbiTechno 17:59, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

The Babies[edit | edit source]

To any of you Yutzes who think they can clutter my home with their shit, let me remind you of an important fact of life: I do not live in a web site. I live in an abandoned construction site. Construction was abandoned some 50 years ago, when the building was ready, including the appartment now containing the computer via which I connect to see you babies thinking out loud that you can trash my home. If you want my address, just ask nicely. Rabbi Techno has already been invited for a smoke... --Ohadaloni 18:19, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

Who the hell wants to trash your home?  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 18:22, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Dude, all that's happened is a few editors asking you to kindly not create one-liners, and to create articles in your namespace and wait to move them into the mainspace until they look like real articles. What's with all the "home trashing" stuff? --THE 18:25, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
Ohadaloni, your home is your sacred place where you create your mindnumbing powerful texts ja? I think you should keep writing, maybe on paper and send it to a newspaper or something because you are a poet the likes of which have never smoked as much as you. Keep your one liners in a journal for the people to read like Journal so your mind sprung god speak can tell the generations of sisters and brothers of peace and anti bush to know the true side of philosophy and your home will be a clean place of hope for the poor apartment dwellers whose home has fallen in on them because the man didn't build it right. Sir Severian Severian1.jpg CUN.png (Sprich mit mir!) Kraut.png
Nice catch, like you wouldn't know, I have to admit. The Hope Building --Ohadaloni 18:52, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

The End[edit | edit source]

I think most people will happily put up with things for the common good, and I will always want to give people a first, sometimes second, and occasionally third chance. Nothing that anyone says will get through to someone who refuses to listen. Thats not a crime, just one of those things. However, I have now banned this User due to comments made about threatened vandalisation. Its not that I expect Ohadaloni to make good his threat, but rather the fact that this is starting to draw in more and more people. At the end of the story, the site has to come first. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Excuse me, but he's not totally gone yet. I've placed his IP address on Ban Patrol, but I didn't know if you'd prefer to do the honors.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize  writings  critchat) 14:18 Oct 29, 2022 20:15, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
so fat, the common bad only occured in the wars on this page. The common good are the wonderful pages I did manage to create despite those wars, with reults to show. I am happy that at least the main current aggressor is trying to maintain some level of objectivity. Thanks. But if you want to continue using a page with my name for these talks, Don't expect me to just disappear. This page is harmful for me, and will appear on google tomorrow. I will continue to attempt and defend my case. Ohad 10:47PM