User:Guildensternenstein/Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition

Imagine a world of disgruntled office workers, petty criminals, and pimpled nerds. Imagine a world of endless traffic jams, greasy fast food, and monotonous deskwork. Imagine a world of paying rent, reading the newspaper, and picking up your children from daycare.

This is the world of Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition.

Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition (also known as D&D:IRL) is the newest edition of the popular D&D series, and allows you to take on the role of a heroic character who is both based on and grounded in the limitations of normal, everyday life. Will you push papers in a desk job? Will you scratch out a living as a lower-class drug dealer? Will you get pregnant, drop out of high school, and slowly descend into alcoholism? In D&D:IRL, the possibilities are limitless!

How Do You Play?

D&D:IRL retains many of the play mechanics of earlier incarnations of D&D. For instance, the beloved system of determining virtually everything by rolling dice is retained. However, there are some minor rule changes—as well as major play mechanic changes—that will be covered in the following sections.

…

…

…

…

[boring parts nobody reads]

…

…

…

…

Character Races

A wide variety of races inhabit the world of D&D:IRL. Each has its own unique traits, and loans itself well to particular classes. For instance, you wouldn’t want to play an Athlete as an Asian, or a Politician as a Negro; doing either of those things would be foolhardy. On the other hand, a Caucasian White Collar Worker or a Negro Criminal would be ideal race-class combinations.

Caucasian

Proud, intelligent, and noble, Caucasians come from an ancient bloodline.

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’10’’-6’2’’
• Average Weight: 175-220 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 5-8 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Wisdom, +2 Intelligence
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Small-Large
• Ass Size: Medium
• Vision: Normal
• Spicy Food Resistance: Low

• Languages: English, one other
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Inherent Authority, +4 Being-Better-Than-Everyone-Else-ness, +2 Paper Sorting, +2 Litigiousness, -5 Dancing
• Whiteness: When presented with something “exotic,” you become stuffy and take a -4 penalty to Charisma.
• White Power: A +2 bonus to all skills when placed in a position of authority (Role: Authority Figure).
• White Guilt: Physically harming any non-Caucasian forces a -1 penalty to Constitution at the end of every turn; regained at the end of the encounter.

Qualities

Born to lead, invent and discover everything important, and tell everyone else what to do, Caucasians—also called “Whites” or “White People”—are the game’s basic and best race. They excel at being both White Collar Workers and Blue Collar Workers, and also make excellent Politicians. Although they excel in positions of authority—indeed, their White Power racial feature is one of the game’s best—Caucasians are also capable of being any of the game’s classes by virtue of being better than any of the other races. With great power comes great responsibility, however, as White Guilt can be crippling to even the most powerful Caucasians.

Play a Caucasian if you want…

• to be better than everybody else.
• to tell other people what to do.
• to be at least moderately successful at most things.
• to wear khaki shorts.

Asian

The hardworking and mysterious Asians come from the mystical land of "Asia."

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’6’’-5’11’’
• Average Weight: 165-195 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 4-6 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Dexterity, +2 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom, -2 Strength
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Flat
• Ass Size: Small
• Vision: Obscured, due to squinty eyes
• Spicy Food Resistance: Medium

• Languages: English or Engrish, generic Asian
• Skill Modifiers: +4 Math, +4 Gymnastics, +4 Work Ethic, +4 Video Games, -5 Creativity, -10 Uniqueness
• Sameness: All Asians look exactly the same, and can use this feature to evade enemies in crowds of other Asians.
• Asian Fetish: Many people lust after Asians uncontrollably, and as a result Asians are 20% more likely to land a job in fetish pornography.
• Honor: Asians are obsessed with the notion of “honor.” Actions considered “honorable” grant a +1 Constitution bonus until the end of the day; actions considered “dishonorable” a -1 penalty.

Qualities

The Asians are a mysterious, industrious people that resemble small humanoids with dark hair and almond-shaped eyes. Although their culture and civilization is thousands of years old, their exact origin remains a mystery. Asians’ natural work ethic and mathematics skill make them ideal White Collar Workers, Scientists, and Teachers though their lack of strength makes them poor Athletes. In addition, Asians make poor Artists and Musicians due to their utter incapacity for creative thought.

Play an Asian if you want…

• to be good at math.
• to be good at video games.
• to have no personality.
• to eat rice for the rest of your life.

Negro

The Negroes are a contemplative and somber race.

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’11’’-6’2’’
• Average Weight: 180-230 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 6-10 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Strength, +2 Agility, +2 Charisma, -4 Intelligence
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Medium-Large
• Ass Size: Large
• Vision: Normal
• Spicy Food Resistance: Low

• Languages: English (sort of)
• Skill Modifiers: +10 Dancing, +5 Manual Agricultural Labor, +5 Police Evasion, +5 Rape, +5 Murder, +5 Rhyming One-Syllable Words, +5 Writing Music (Rhythm), -2 Writing Music (Melody), -5 Writing Music (Harmony), -10 Playing a Musical Instrument, -5 Work Ethic, -8 Literacy, -8 Math, +12 Ability to Plate Stupid Shit in Gold
• Racial Double Standard: Negroes have the ability to get away with things that members of other races would have to answer to, especially if said Negro is famous.
• Blackness: Everything that Negroes do is automatically cool for some reason, so in order to be cool everyone in your party must copy you if you are playing as a Negro.
• Ward of the State: Negroes get $200/week throughout the entire duration of the game via welfare.

Qualities

Negroes—also known as “Niggers,” “Coons,” “Darkies,” or simply “Blacks”—are one of the most specialized races in the game. Their inherent mental handicap makes them useless in any sort of intellectual field, but their athletic ability makes them excellent Athletes, Blue Collar Workers, and Criminals. For lack of skill in anything else, many Negroes also attempt to play as Musicians, although this rarely works out.

Play a Negro if you want…

• to take no accountability for your actions.
• to be beloved by stupid people.
• to continue playing “the race card.”
• to get free money from the federal government.

Hispanic

Resourceful and hardworking, an Hispanic rounds out any party.

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’7’’-6’0’’
• Average Weight: 170-210 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 5-8 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +1 Dexterity, +2 Constitution
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Small-Large
• Ass Size: Large
• Vision: Normal
• Spicy Food Resistance: High

• Languages: Broken English, Spanish
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Manual Agricultural Labor, +2 Menial Job, +5 Work Ethic,
• Determination: Hispanics will stop at nothing to reach their goals—even if there’s a fence and/or river in their way. Every time a Hispanic fails in an action, they get a +1 Constitution bonus that lasts until the end of the encounter.
• Copulation: Hispanics are 35% more likely to get pregnant than any other race.
• Farm Implement Proficiency: Hispanics gain a +1 to Proficiency every turn of combat if they’re using a farm implement as their weapon.

Qualities

Hispanics are a well-balanced race and are good for most roles. Though they lack the inherent leadership qualities of Caucasians, they still make excellent Blue Collar Workers because of their high work ethic and make solid characters playing as any other class. Their Constitution and Proficiency bonuses make them ideal to have in long encounters, as well as for doing farm work for an extended period of time.

Play an Hispanic if you want…

• to be a well-rounded character.
• to be part of America’s fastest-growing demographic.
• to be far more useful than the guy playing as a Negro

Arab/Persian/Turk

Although often disgruntled and hostile, Arabs are known for occasionally having positive qualities.

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’8’’-6’2’’
• Average Weight: 175-210 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 5-8 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Constitution, +2 Wisdom, -2 Charisma
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Small-Medium
• Ass Size: Medium
• Vision: Normal
• Spicy Food Resistance: Medium

• Languages: Angry Broken English, Angry Arabic
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Menial Job, +2 Work Ethic, +2 Smelliness, +4 Explosives, +10 Likelihood of Being Racially Profiled, -5 Personability, -5 Happiness, -5 Creativity
• Improvised Explosive Device: Arabs have the unique ability to construct explosives out of various household items (Utility Power).
• Refusal to Assimilate: Arabs do not get along with other races well, and when in combat against a party made up of all non-Arabs they take a -1 penalty to Charisma, but gain a +3 bonus to Constitution.
• Political Correctness: Arabs gain a +3 bonus to all defenses when in the presence of Caucasians of Left or Center Left alignment.

Qualities

A noble and smelly race, Arabs are mysterious and often misunderstood. This probably has something to do with their thick accents, which make most of them utterly incomprehensible. Arabs make good Blue Collar Workers, as well as good Criminals and Soldiers. However, they make poor Artists and Musicians, and are generally unliked.

Play an Arab if you want…

• to eliminate free speech.
• to be sober and unliked.
• to visit Guantanamo Bay.

Dot Indian

Exotic and capable of both manual and intellectual labor, Indians constitute a powerful race.

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’9’’-6’1’’
• Average Weight: 170-205 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 6-8 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Intelligence, +2 Wisdom
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Small-Medium
• Ass Size: Small-Medium
• Vision: Normal
• Spicy Food Resistance: High

• Languages: Thickly Accented English, one other
• Skill Modifiers: Math +2, Menial Job +2, Work Ethic +2, Sex Positions +4
• Tech Support: When on the phone with anyone, Indians gain a +2 to Intelligence, but take a -2 to Charisma.
• Convenience Store: Indians gain a +2 Proficiency to all weapons when performing a Menial Job.
• The Kama Sutra: Indians gain a +3 bonus to Charisma during the sex act.

Qualities

Indians are exotic, sexy, and brown. They are ideally suited to being both Blue and White Collar Workers, and are well suited to most other classes as well. Although they are sometimes confused with Arabs, the two groups are in fact arch-enemies. Indians can be differentiated from Arabs by virtue of being far more attractive and level-headed. Indians also accept science, and will assimilate to the society they’re a part of. It is commonly held that Indians are far superior to Arabs.

Play an Indian if you want…

• to work a menial job.
• to have sex in multiple positions.
• to eat spicy rice for the rest of your life.

Feather Indian

Native Americans are both elusive and trustworthy, and make good allies.

Racial Traits

• Average Height: 5’10’’-6’2’’
• Average Weight: 175-220 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 5-8 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Wisdom, +2 Constitution
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Medium-Large
• Ass Size: Medium
• Vision: Normal
• Spicy Food Resistance: Low

• Languages: English, Native
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Work Ethic, +2 Tracking, +2 Hunting, +2 Fishing, +2 Manual Agricultural Labor, +2 Alcohol Resistance, -10 Small Pox Resistance, -10 Land Ownership
• Nature: Indians (Feather) gain +1 to all skills while in the woods.
• Adaptability: Indians gain a +1 to all weapon Proficiency after using that weapon to kill five enemies.
• Natural Defense: Grants a +1 to all defenses.

Qualities

Feather Indians—sometimes called “Native Americans”—are among the game’s rarest races. Once plentiful, it is unknown what befell them. Their unique skill set makes them ideal to have in hunting situations, but they are good for little else.

Play a Native American if you want…

• to have your land taken and your culture shamed.
• to hunt, fish, track, and do other stereotypical Native things.
• to pay no taxes.
• to work in a casino.

Jew

Jews are naturally inclined to working with money—and indeed excel at it—but at the price of physical weakness.

Racial Features

• Average Height: 5’6’’-5’11’’
• Average Weight: 160-200 lb.
• Average Penis Length: 3-7 in.

• Ability Modifiers: +2 Dexterity, +3 Wisdom, +3 Intelligence, -2 Agility, -2 Strength
• Size: Medium
• Breast Size: Small-Medium
• Ass Size: Small-Medium
• Vision: Poor, often require glasses
• Spicy Food Resistance: Low

• Languages: English, Hebrew, Jewspeak, one other
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Work Ethic, +2 Paper Sorting, +5 Money Counting, +5 Litigiousness, +5 Entrepreneurial Abilities, +5 Victimhood, -5 Running, -5 Manual Agricultural Labor, -5 Honest Work, -20 Dancing
• Bartering: Jews get a 10% discount to all purchases.
• Jew Gold: Jews begin with three times the starting money of the other races.
• Jew Nose: Jews can sniff out treasures, and instantly know where all loot is at all times.
• Jewish Fortitude: Jews take a -3 penalty to all defenses.
• International Jewish Conspiracy: Every encounter, you can completely determine the outcome of one event.

Qualities

Jews are perhaps the game’s most specialized race. As Businessmen, White Collar Workers, Doctors, Teachers, Lawyers and Politicians their prowess is practically unmatched. However, they are worthless as Athletes and Blue Collar Workers, to the point that playing either of these classes as a Jew could prove fatal. Jews were also victims of something called The Holocaust, something they will never let you go one moment without acknowledging in some way.

Play a Jew if you want…

• to have money.
• to spend money.
• to bathe in money.
• money.

Character Classes

Your class is the primary definition of what your character can and can’t do in the extraordinary world of D&D:IRL. It shapes what attacks you have, what powers you gain, how much money you make, and how often you get laid, among other things. Will you be a no-nonsense White Collar Worker? An asshole professional Athlete? A practical joke playing White Collar Worker? The possibilities are limitless.

Blue Collar Worker

“Ya see, that, that there, that water pipe there's your problem.”

Class Traits

• Role: Grunt Work
• Power Source: High School GED
• Key Abilities: Strength, Constitution

• Job Proficiencies: Basic Manual, Complex Manual, Menial
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Tools, Complex Tools, Simple Electronics
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Work Ethic, +5 Manual Agricultural Labor, +5 Manual Industrial Labor, +2 Menial Job
• Defense Modifiers: +2 Physical

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (highest grade level achieved in high school)/2
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 5
• Feats: Paying the Mortgage, Rasing a Family
• Epic Destinies: Eventual College Education, Pention Collecting

Class Features

• Cheat: Blue Collar Workers can—and often do—cheat their patrons out of something: whether it be an honest auto inspection or a Union Health Plan that doesn't completely cripple the company they work for. They get a 35% monetary bonus when they perform a service for pay.

• Union: Blue Collar Workers have the ability to join up with other Blue Collars to form a “Union.” When part of a Union, Blue Collars gain a +1 all modified skills and all defenses, and take a -3 penalty to Work Ethic.

• Common Sense: The most simple solution to a problem often makes itself known to Blue Collars before anyone else; +3 Insight.

Qualities

Blue Collar workers are a basic class made up of high-school grads and college drop-outs. They are turned to whenever manual labor has to be done, as they are in fact good for little else. A reliable, if boring class to play.

White Collar Worker

“I fucking hate my job.”

Class Traits

• Role: Grunt Work
• Power Source: College Education
• Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma

• Job Proficiencies: Basic Office, Complex Office, Menial
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Electronics, Complex Electronics, Basic Sex Toys
• Skill Modifiers: +5 Office Work, +5 Paper Sorting, +2 Electronics, +2 Literacy, +2 Math, -2 Dancing, -2 Running
• Defense Modifiers: +1 Mental, +1 Verbal

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (amount of money wasted in college)/$4000
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 5
• Feats: Paying the Mortgage, Starting a Family, Midlife Crisis, Suicide Contemplation
• Epic Destinies: Retirement, Eventual Suicide

Class Features

• Spam E-Mail: White Collars can cripple friends and foe alike at will by sending copious amounts of junk e-mail. Each junk e-mail sent lowers Work Ethic by -1 for friend and foe alike.

• Job Dissatisfaction: Once per week, role five d20. If all five come up 20, you go on a shooting rampage in your place of employ. This grants a permanent +10 to Small Arms Proficiency and a -10 penalty to Charisma.

• Conformity: If you so choose, you can take a -2 penalty to Uniqueness in return for a +1 bonus to Office Work, Paper Sorting, and Electronics. You may do this as many times as you like, until your Uniqueness reaches 0.

Qualities

Like Blue Collar Workers, White Collar Workers are a bland but reliable class to play. However—unlike Blue Collar Workers—White Collar Workers work with their brains rather than their brawn. They are typically much smarter than other members of the basic labor force, and as a result tend to make more money. However, they are often dissatisfied with their line of work, to the point of being dangerously unstable.

Soldier

“Gimme a sit-rep.”

Class Traits

• Role: Grunt Work
• Power Source: Their Gun
• Key Abilities: Strength, Agility, Constitution

• Job Proficiencies: Basic Martial, Complex Martial, Basic Manual
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Electronics, Small Arms, Heavy Arms, Explosives
• Skill Modifiers: +5 Guns, +5 Explosives, +2 Rape
• Defense Modifiers: +2 Physical, +2 Spiritual

• Hit Points at Level 1: 24
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 6
• Feats: Shellshock, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Suicide Contemplation
• Epic Destinies: Honorable Discharge, Dishonorable Discharge, Eventual Suicide

Class Features

• Following Orders: You must do whatever the Authority Figure in your party orders you to do.

• Support the Troops: You gain a +1 to Spiritual Defense for every Blue Collar Worker in your party.

• AWOL: At the start of every encounter, roll five d20. If all five come up 20, you leave the encounter and do not have to fight.

• Crazy War Stories: Every time you tell a war story, you gain a +1 bonus to Charisma until the end of the day.

Qualities

Soldier excel at one thing, and one thing only: combat. As a result, they could be the best or worst class to play in the game depending on the situation. Needless to say, if you like combat play as a Soldier.

Criminal

“Yo yo yo sup dawg G.”

Class Traits

• Role: Grunt Work
• Power Source: Their Gun
• Key Abilities: Dexterity, Constitution

• Job Proficiencies: Basic Martial, Criminal
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Electronics, Small Arms, one other of choice
• Skill Modifiers: +5 Police Evasion, +5 Rape, +5 Murder, +5 Theft, +2 Guns, -5 Literacy, -5 Math
• Defense Modifiers: +2 Physical, +1 Verbal

• Hit Points at Level 1: 15 + (number of charges brought against)
• Hit Points per Level Gained: (number of charges brought against previous level) + 2
• Feats: Jailtime, Prison Escape, Good Behavior
• Epic Destinies: Going Straight, Getting Murdered

Class Features

• Drug User: Postive effects of all drugs consumed are doubled.

• Gang: Criminals gain a +1 bonus to all defenses for every other Criminal in the party.

• Drive-By: Criminals gain a +2 Proficiency bonus to all weapons while in a car.

• Street Cred: Grants a +1 bonus to Charisma to all party members.

Qualities

Although Criminals might not be the most admirable group of people, having one in your party will likely prove useful. Their skills and bonuses are completely unique from any other class, and their uncanny knowledge of the streets might prove invaluble in a large urban dungeon.

Loser

“Third Edition was so much better.”

Class Traits

• Role: Grunt Work
• Power Source: None
• Key Abilities: Dexterity

• Job Proficiencies: Menial, two other of choice
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Electronics, Complex Electronics, one other of choice
• Skill Modifiers: +10 Video Games, +10 Masturbation, +5 Guns, +5 Rape, +2 Literacy, +2 Math, -10 Sex Positions, -10 Dancing
• Defense Modifiers: +4 Verbal

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (times you have had sex) + 8
• Hit Points per Level Gained: (times you have had sex previous level) + 5
• Feats: Loosing Virginity, Going Outside
• Epic Destinies: Dying a Virgin

Class Features

• Nerd Physique: Durring the character creation process, roll a d20. If the number rolled is greater than 10, add 30 pounds to your total weight. If it is less than 10, subtract 30 pounds from your total weight.

• Geek Charm: Take a permanent -4 penalty to Strength and Charisma.

• Boiling Rage: Every week, you gain a +2 bonus to a weapon Profiency of your choice.

Qualities

Despite the negative connotation a Loser carries with him, he is in fact very useful. The number of things a Loser can bring to the table are limitless. Like...umm...umm....ummm....

...

A good Loser is an important part of any group.

Doctor

“Your insurance won’t cover this.”

Class Traits

• Role: Support
• Power Source: Medical School
• Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity

• Job Proficiencies: Basic Medical, Complex Medical
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Electronics, Complex Electronics, Medical
• Skill Modifiers: +10 Medicine, +10 Surgery
• Defense Modifiers: +3 Mental

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (number of years spent in College and Medical School)/2
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 5
• Feats: Tropical Vacation, Private Practice, Malpractice Lawsuit
• Epic Destinies: Retirement, Goodwill Trip to Africa

Class Features

• Co-Pay: Doctors gain a monetary reward every time they perform a medical service.

• Surgery: Doctors can give allies—and themselves—bonuses to ability scores by performing surgery at the cost of $10,000 per ability point.

Qualities

Although pricey, Doctors are an important class to have around. Their ability to heal and improve other party members can prove invaluable—if you can foot the bill.

Lawyer

“Hurt in a car? You might be entitled to CASH!.”

Class Traits

• Role: Support
• Power Source: Law School
• Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma

• Job Proficiencies: Complex Office, Simple Legal, Complex Legal
• Item Proficiencies: Simple Electronics, Legal
• Skill Modifiers: +5 Paper Sorting, +10 Litigiousness, -2 Running
• Defense Modifiers: +2 Mental, +3 Verbal, -1 Spiritual

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (percentage of settlement taken as payment)/5
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 5
• Feats: Tropical Vacation, Private Practice, Major Lawsuit
• Epic Destinies: Retirement

Class Features

• Protection of the Law: In combat, all allied characters within a 5 square radiance gain a +1 bonus to Verbal and Mental defense.

• Injury Settlement: If an ally is injured in combat, both you and that ally can gain a large monetary reward by taking the case to court.

• Fast Talk: Lawyers can decrease an enemy’s Verbal defense by -1 for one turn as a secondary action.

Qualities

Lawyers are an expensive support class, but could be well worth it if played correctly. A good Lawyer is invaluable in combat, though not necessarily directly as they will typically be your weakest character physically.

Teacher

“No, you stupid shit, this one.”

Class Traits

• Role: Support
• Power Source: College Education
• Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Constitution

• Job Proficiencies: Academic
• Item Proficiencies: Simple Electronics, Academic
• Skill Modifiers: +5 Math, +5 Literacy,
• Defense Modifiers: +1 Mental, +1 Verbal, +1 Spiritual

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (grade level you teach)/1.5 (rounding down)
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 5
• Feats: Tenure, Grad School Completion, College Professorship
• Epic Destinies: Retirement

Class Features

• Patience: If a Teacher fails in a combat action, they gain a +1 bonus to Constitution until the end of the encounter.

g

• Knowledge is Power!: In combat, all allied characters within 5 squares of a Teacher gain a +1 bonus to Intelligence.

• Union: Although not Blue Collar Workers, Teachers gain the same bonuses Blue Collars do in a Union.

Qualities

Teachers are the least expensive of the support class, and as a result the monetary rewards of enlisting a Teacher are likewise diminished. However, the combat bonuses a teacher grants are just as useful as those of a Lawyer or Doctor, and a Teacher is often the most apt in combat of all the support classes.

Businessman

“Why, yes, I would love a latté.”

Class Traits

• Role: Authority Figure
• Power Source: College Education
• Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma

• Job Proficiencies: Complex Office, Leadership, Entrepreneurial
• Item Proficiencies: Basic Electronics, Complex Electronics, Basic Sex Toys
• Skill Modifiers: +2 Office Work, +2 Paper Sorting, +2 Electronics, +5 Entrepreneurial Ability, +2 Literacy, +2 Math, -2 Dancing, -2 Running
• Defense Modifiers: +1 Mental, +1 Verbal

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (commission on the Franklin account)/$1000
• Hit Points per Level Gained: 5
• Feats: Midlife Crisis, Tropical Vacation, Climbing the Corporate Ladder
• Epic Destinies: Retirement, Tell-All Book Deal

Class Features

• Personal Trainer: Businessmen can buy skill points at the rate of $5000 per skill point.

• Caffeine Fix: Consuming caffeine grants a +1 to all defenses until the end of the encounter.

• Smugness: At the start of every encounter, role a d20. If the number is greater than 10, grant yourself a +2 Charisma bonus until the end of the encounter. If the number is below 10, take a -2 penalty to Charisma.

• Sexual Harassment: Businessmen take a -4 penalty to Charisma when they perform the sex act with other members of the same class.

Qualities

Although similar to White Collar Workers, Businessmen differ in three important ways. They make more money, they are more satisfied with their jobs, and they have a different party role than White Collar Workers do. Because of these things, it is considered better to play as a Businessman than a White Collar Worker.

Politician

Class Traits

• Role: Authority Figure
• Power Source: The General Public
• Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Constitution, Charisma

• Job Proficiencies: Legal, Leadership
• Item Proficiencies: Academic, Legal
• Skill Modifiers: +5 Literacy, +5 Litigiousness, +5 Inherent Authority, -2 Dancing
• Defense Modifiers: +2 Mental, +2 Verbal,

• Hit Points at Level 1: 12 + (percentage of votes you got last election)/5
• Hit Points per Level Gained: (number of votes in favor)
• Feats: Public Office, High Level Position, High Level Appointment, Memoir Writing
• Epic Destinies: Retirement, Elder Statesmen

Class Features

• Appeal to Authority: Your supporters gain a +1 bonus to Verbal defense.

• Political Clout: During combat, you may roll a d20 to alter the outcome of an unfavorable event.

• Corruption: Politicians are permitted to accept bribes concerning the use of their Political Clout feature.

• Commander-in-Chief: Allied Soldiers within a 5 square radius gain a +2 bonus to Physical and Spiritual defense.

• Revisionism: Once per turn, a Politician may re-roll an unfavorable roll they made.

Qualities

The most sought-after class in the game, Politicians are the ideal Authority Figure for any party. Though they will not provide the monetary bonus a Businessman will, they make up for it in their ability to shape the way an encounter plays out using their political power.