Gymnastics

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Ouch..........

Gymnastics is a highly specialized sport requiring extreme physical preparation, flexibility, and mental resilience, yet its practical applicability outside of competitive and exhibition settings is virtually nonexistent. Although it represents the pinnacle of aestheticized movement, its demanding nature and inherent risks make it appealing primarily to individuals seeking extreme physical challenges or a means of professional engagement in fringe sectors of the entertainment industry or in low-budget military structures of developing countries.

History[edit | edit source]

The origins of gymnastics are somewhat unclear, but most historians agree that it emerged sometime in antiquity, when it was necessary to jump over live horses—or other obstacles posed by life in a slave-owning society. Later, it became a discipline in the ancient Olympics, where the focus was more on display and less on meaning. After the fall of antiquity, the sport naturally declined—apparently no one was eager to risk a herniated disc just for applause in sandals. It remained forgotten until the 20th century, when someone decided to revive it—likely out of boredom, or as a PE teacher’s punitive idea. And so gymnastics returned: dazzling, impractical, and still just as absurd and pointless as ever.

Types[edit | edit source]

In the modern world, gymnastics has splintered into several disciplines, the two most well-known and widely broadcast being artistic and rhythmic gymnastics. Both share the distinction of destroying you physically, mentally, socially, and hormonally—though each has its own unique method of doing so.

Artistic Gymnastics [1][edit | edit source]

That's HER again!!!! It's the Western world of course.......

This is the kind of gymnastics the average person imagines when they hear the words “Olympics” and “she fell off the beam like a sack of cement.” It’s divided into men’s and women’s events, with women competing in four disciplines:

  • Balance beam (if the thought of falling crosses your mind, you will fall)
  • Uneven bars (landing on your head scores 0.0 points, but earns applause—and possibly a broken neck)
  • Floor (dancing with jumps—ballet meets ground impact)
  • Vault (you leap, do three twists, and land like a deer… or not)

Men have it a bit different, thanks to their surplus of tendons, testosterone, and ego. In addition to vault and floor exercise, they also face:

  • Rings (torture devices with ropes)
  • Pommel horse (mad leg-flailing on a padded log, good for castration)
  • Parallel bars (not the same as the women’s, of course)
  • High bar (where they spin around like maniacs until someone falls)

It all requires decades of training, minimal food, maximum pain, and parents who’d rather push you into gymnastics than into therapy. And yet—no article in the FIG rulebook allows you to carry a .600 Nitro Express rifle and end it all with dignity during your routine. Officially, anyway.

Meanwhile in the East............

Rhythmic Gymnastics[2][edit | edit source]

Rhythmic gymnastics is performed exclusively by women, allegedly because men lack the proper “flow,” or perhaps can’t toss a ball with grace and suffer at the same time. There are no apparatuses here, only “equipment”—a euphemism for the objects you throw, spin, and otherwise abuse:

  • Ribbon (a symbol of childishness and endless frustration)
  • Ball (usually destined to escape into the audience)
  • Hoop (whose sole purpose is to entangle your legs)
  • Clubs (like juggling pins—but to the face)
  • Rope (yes, it still exists)

Here, tricks are combined with “artistic impression,” meaning dance, opera music, and the occasional emotional breakdown. Everything must be elegant, graceful, and under control—except the moments when your knee, back, or mental stability fails.

And again, you’re not allowed to officially carry a firearm, though the temptation often arises—especially during the tenth repetition of your routine while your coach screams in Russian and cracks the rope like a whip.

How to do it?[edit | edit source]

1. Start Young – Or Suffer[edit | edit source]

Ideally, you should begin at age three, before you’re smart enough to say no. If you're older, get ready to be surrounded by pre-teens who can outstretch, outjump, and outcry you on the mat. They’ll also recover faster, while you ice your everything.

2. Stretch Until You Question Reality[edit | edit source]

Flexibility isn’t optional. You must bend like a rubber band. Expect daily stretching routines that feel like medieval torture—except your torturer is smiling and wears a tracksuit.

3. Eat Like a Sparrow, Burn Like a Furnace[edit | edit source]

Nutrition is vital. That is, consuming exactly enough calories to stay conscious but not enough to tip the scales. Carbs are frowned upon, joy is forbidden, and if you so much as look at a croissant, a coach somewhere will sense it and deduct points.

4. Get Used to Falling – A Lot[edit | edit source]

You will fall. On your face, your knees, your pride. Bonus points if you manage all three in one motion. Pain becomes a lifestyle, bruises become accessories. If you’re not limping, are you even trying?

5. Train Under a Woman Named Svetlana Who’s Never Smiled[edit | edit source]

Your coach will be Eastern European[3], cold as steel, and trained under Stalin’s personal fitness advisor. She will not coddle you. If you cry, she’ll stretch your hamstrings harder. If you smile, she’ll add another hour of conditioning. Love is measured in pain tolerance.

6. Forget Privacy, Modesty, and Dignity[edit | edit source]

Leotards are tight, wedgies are inevitable, and competitions involve doing backflips in front of judges who look like they haven’t been impressed since 1982. Get used to it.

7. Compete and Pretend This Was Worth It.[edit | edit source]

Eventually, you’ll compete. You’ll slap on glitter, glue on a smile, and perform while your joints scream and your self-worth hinges on a French judge giving you an 8.3 instead of an 8.1.

Suitable job positions[edit | edit source]

Gymnasts are beautiful. They are flexible. They are incredibly resilient. But they are not immortal. And they are not protected from what the world does to women it no longer finds useful.

Someone spent your whole life demanding that you fly, fall, and rise again—smiling. Then it ends. And you learn: flight isn’t a profession, falling isn’t a strategy, and a smile isn’t a paycheck. So what now?

Option No.1

1. Gymnastics Coach[edit | edit source]

Let’s start with the classic. Tragically so. You know everything. You’ve survived everything. You understand what ankles feel like when it rains. You know what “being in shape” means—and what “not being good enough” means, coming from a man in polyester pants with three Adidas shirts and a vendetta against grace.

As a coach, you pass it all on. Including the parts you’d most like to erase. You say “handspring” but mean “suppressed breakdown.” You say “hold posture” but think “keep your mouth shut.”

You could be brilliant. You could be kind. But you will never fully escape the knowledge that you are the one passing the baton of pain—wrapped in a sequined leotard.

And sometimes, a thought creeps in: wouldn’t it be cleaner to do something—anything—else?

But there is no “anything.” Only three more options.

Option No.2

2. Porn Actress[edit | edit source]

Yes. Say it aloud.

The world has seen what you can do with your body. It knows you can fold, hold, stretch, endure. You understand what it means to “maintain a position until someone claps.” Only now, the applause comes from a very different gallery.

Former gymnasts in adult film are more common than one would hope. You have the look, the control, the training. But more dangerously, you have the tolerance. And that is what every director wants to exploit—to push you past comfort, past safety, past selfhood.

The shame is secondary. The real threat is recursive trauma.

Your capacity for compliance becomes a magnet for abuse.

The money? Immediate. The respect? Sporadic. The end? Usually abrupt.

And in case you were wondering—yes, there are flips here too. Though no one’s sure anymore if they’re for sport or survival.

Option No.3

3. T‑72 Tank Crew Member[edit | edit source]

An unlikely choice. But not irrational. The T‑72 is designed for small, limber, high-pain-threshold humans with no claustrophobia. A gymnast fits like a glove—into a coffin.

Your crash training makes you ideal for the role of gunner or commander (no loader; the tank is self-loading—one fewer job, one more threat). You adapt quickly to the brutal internal environment: shaking steel, choking fumes, and radio commands screamed in Slavic tones that evoke your old coach—only with fewer boundaries and more munitions (unless you're with an American university, in which case expect more PowerPoint, less fire).

The danger is very real. One wrong move near the autoloader, and your career ends with a stump where your dominant arm used to be.

The tank does not forgive mistakes. But neither did your sport.

And here's the ironic perk: in the T‑72, you can still do flips.

Western tanks are ergonomic—no space to tumble. Soviet design demands either acrobatics or death.

4. Nothing (Silence After the Storm)[edit | edit source]

Do not underestimate this option. Sometimes it’s the most honest choice. To stop. To leave. To disconnect from a system that warped you, applauded your agony, and called it "discipline."

Stepping out means learning to survive questions like:

“So… you don’t do anything anymore?”

“That’s a shame. You were so talented.”

“You ever think about coaching?”

But behind that is peace.

No judgement. No sweat. No morning rituals in stale gymnasiums filled with old uniforms and new delusions.

Maybe no salary.

But maybe—for once—a spine that doesn’t scream.

And a life no longer measured in ribbons, bruises, and forced applause.

Pros[edit | edit source]

  • Aesthetic Appeal - You’re lean, strong, symmetrical. Society rewards this. People look at you like a sculpture that moves.
  • Flexibility and Body Control - You can bend, flip, and land where others would break. In other fields—circus, stunt work, combat training—this can be gold.
  • Discipline - You know routine. You obey structure. You’ve learned to override pain, fatigue, even fear. That’s rare—and employers notice.
  • Fame (Sometimes) - If you're elite, you might taste glory. Medals, media, applause. Brief, but bright. A name whispered at competitions. A face in ads—for a while.

Cons[edit | edit source]

  • Disposable Career - You peak young. You break early. One injury, and it’s over. And there’s no retirement plan for falling at seventeen.
  • Psychological Damage - The pressure to smile while hurting. The fear of not being “good enough.” Years of silent obedience that calcify into lifelong anxiety.
  • Limited Transition Options - “Flying” isn't a job skill. “Pain tolerance” isn’t on résumés. You leave the sport, but it doesn’t leave you. Your body remembers.
  • Exploitation of Talent - Your gifts are monetized by others. Your body is seen as public property. And the moment it fails—so do you.

Abuse[edit | edit source]

Ouch...................

In the United States—the shining empire of televised gymnastics—girls (and yes, sometimes boys) have been assaulted, manipulated, violated, for decades.

  • By doctors. By coaches. By people who called themselves mentors.
  • By people who promised success—if only you stayed silent.
  • Ask anyone who paid attention after 2018.
  • Ask the survivors of Larry Nassar.
  • Ask the ones who didn’t speak because they were told not to “ruin their careers.”

Because in gymnastics, you are conditioned to smile.

To obey. To trust.

Even when someone is inside you without consent.

Why does this happen so often?[edit | edit source]

  • Because the system rewards silence and punishes disruption.
  • Because young athletes are often isolated, dependent, and desperate for approval.
  • Because success in gymnastics is built on compliance, and predators thrive where no one dares say no.

And let’s be honest:

  • Gymnasts are selected for their ability to endure pain.
  • So when the pain isn’t just physical—who notices?

Who stops it?[edit | edit source]

  • Sometimes no one.
  • Sometimes too late.
  • Sometimes, only after hundreds of careers—and lives—are shattered beyond repair.

So if you’re asking whether gymnastics is worth it—ask first if you’re ready to exist in a system where your body becomes someone else’s ambition.

And if you don’t want to be touched, examined, manipulated, or shamed by someone twice your age behind closed doors in the name of “performance”—then don’t do it.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. Western one
  2. Eastern one
  3. If you're everywhere else than U.S.A - The Land of Free. There will be some woman with southern accent.