User:Enzo Aquarius/Interstate 5

Interstate 5
Part of the Jerry Seinfeld Interstate Highway System
Length: Around 1000 miles, give or take a thousand Formed: Snow/Ice South End: NX-01 at Mexican border. Major Junction: Sackedmentos, Lost Angeles. North End: Somewhere in Canada

“Let's circle one more time and try to find a better spot.”

~ Your father on Interstate 5

“Oh lets just go home!”

~ Your Mother on Interstate 5

A full section of Interstate 5 in California.

Interstate 5 is the world's largest parking lot. It is 1381.29 miles in length, stretching from Canada to Mexico through Washington, Oregon, Nebraska, and California. Its total capacity is approximately 1.7 million cars. There is no charge to park, but there is a 24-hour limit.

History

During the Great Tree Rush of 1839 there was an influx of people and SUVs to the West Coast. Consequently local residents who wanted to park their cars in Portland, Seattle, and Los Angeles lacked a lot which was free, easily accessible, and had ample space.

So I-5 was constructed in order to meet the parking needs of the Western United States in 1857. Construction was met with great controversy as the parking lot was routed through many private homes, children's playgrounds, and Indian burial grounds. The US Army was dispatched and killed with great efficiency all who opposed the plan. The great project was completed at a ceremony in Lake Shasta where John Wilkes Booth paved the last yard with a golden cement truck.

In 1899 I-95 on the East Coast challenged I-5's supremacy. Hollywood sent Arnold Schwarzenegger to blow up several bridges on I-95 in Florida with a Harrier jump-jet, thereby reclaiming the World's Largest Parking Lot title for I-5. Since then it has received numerous expansions, mostly thanks to pork-barrel spending, and has thus cemented its supremacy.

Recent Problems

In recent years some residents have begun actually driving on I-5 in sections where few cars are parked. Motorists at times exceed 75 miles per hour, creating dangerous conditions for pedestrians and parked cars. Legislation has been proposed in the United States Congress to prevent such driving on the free-parking.

Landmarks and tourist attractions

• The Space Needle
• The Forest That Nobody Cares About
• The Spruce Goose
• The Statue of Liberty
• Condominiums of Mystery
• Weed, California
• Silicone Mountain
• 2,178 McDonalds restaurants
• Disneyland
• Poverty

See also

• Sesame Street
• Wall Street
• Global Warming
• 2pac

Also See Also

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