From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Steinbruch Waibertal Ost 4 2019-03-08.jpg
Motto: Leave me alone
Official nicknameحيفا هي عاصمة فلسطين
Official language(s)Hebrew, Arabic, whatever-Baháʼíes-talk
MayorHassan Nasrallah

Haifa (in Hebrew: חיפה) is the little autistic sister of Tel Aviv. Haifa is full of arabs, Jewes and pigs which try to kill each other for years live in peace together.

Famous attractions in the city[edit | edit source]

A lot of people come to Haifa to see the "Shrine of the Báb", but they miss the real attraction of the city: The factories.

have you ever wanted to get lung cancer? well, in Haifa the cancer is totally free, thank's to the 1,534 factories spread all over the city. Many has asked "waht is the logic behind putting fucking bilions of factories emit carbon dioxide, ammonia and quick death inside a city inhabited by living beings!?". well, that's a long story that includes capitalism, corruption, colonialism and other long words that will make you think this is a real encyclopedia. For this reason, we will try to summarize the story. So in short, what happened is this:

there were two brothers, young white capitalists from Herzliya, named Sami Ofer and Sami Ofer's brother. In eny case, the tow Ofers has decided that they should try to have more mony, so they can buy a second yacht. So, in no longer then 10 years, all Haifa was full of factories and the Ofer brothers became super-rich.

Geography[edit | edit source]

Haifa could have been very beautiful, even fantastic, if it could be seen at all. Since the factories were established, Haifa has been shrouded in eternal haze (a bit like the filthy version of Game of Thrones). Because of that, all the cityscapes look, how to say, brown. If you'll visit in the city you will be impressed by the ... brown landscape everywhere, as well as the brown sky and the brown sea.

Here are some typical views of the city, showcasing its geographical diversity:

Gallery[edit | edit source]

Zoology[edit | edit source]

Haifa is the current home of Hannibal Lecter, Clarice Starling and their 37,007 pet pigs.

External links[edit | edit source]