Great Chicken Famine of 8751
The Great Chicken Famine of 8751 is an event so horrible, that if spoken of it in public, you will be promplty arrested and sentenced to approx. .583432 years in the Mars Federal Prison. In order to bring you this information about this horrific event, we have already endangered our lives. Please read wisely. And remember to pay tribute to Christopher Crenshaw. The great chicken saviour.
How it All Began[edit | edit source]
The Great Chicken Famine began when Overlord Chicken Master from KFC Planet, ordered the KFC Mainframe Factory shut down for failure to produce grease that he could get off his fingers. Shortly afterwards, most chicken farms didn't have any where to send the chicken carcasses to, so they burned them all. This put an end to the chicken as we knew it, until one great hero came from the not so distant galaxy of Chickentropia. His name was Christopher Crenshaw, the greatest saviour our small green planet has never known. Except Christopher Crenshaw II. He was better, and saved the cow.
“I can't help... but think about all... those poor, poor chickens... That I didn't get to eat...”
“GET IN MY BELLY!!!”
Christopher Crenshaw[edit | edit source]
The saviour of our beloved fowl originated from a great place in our Universe, where Wizards, Zebras, and Knights are made. Christopher grew up in a poor community, but alas he was not poor, in fact hiis family was rather wealthy. He learned many variuos skills such as being Jesus and a Wizard and the art of Kung Fu. HE was chosen to lead the attack, to get our beloved chicken back. During the fight he experienced Nuclear Fusion and became 1/4 chicken. Affter the war he settled down with his chicken wife and had their son, Christopher II, who eventually caused the extinction of the cow, but realized what he did and fixed his wrong doing.
The Start of the Famine[edit | edit source]
In March of 8751, approx. 2 months after President Spanker had called upon the great hero, people across the nation began to crave chicken more and more. In their confusion, they attempted to find substitues for the beloved fowl. They tried to eat turkey, though this only made them crave the chicken more fiercely than ever before. Then they proceeded to try other alternatives, some going outside poultry (e.g. Gerbils, Ferrets, and even Kittens (this sparked the Huffer's Protest for lack of Kittens to huff)!). Everything got worse from here.
Everything Gets Worse[edit | edit source]
By July 8751, the entire world had gone into a panic. The people began to rebel against their country's leader(s), demanding their precious, precious chicken. At this time, President Spanker was up to his fake glittering eyelashes with complaints, riot reports, and bitch-slaps. He then said, "I will call upon a great man, that you all should know, Christopher Crenshaw." Upon making his weekly inspection of the ongoing testing of the Monkey Huff, he was assasinated, ironicly, with a rubber chicken.
The Battle of the Fowl[edit | edit source]
After the brutal assassination of the president, the vegetarians took up arms against the Poultryists, as they were now called. The vegetarians stormed through each and every KFC factory, untouchable by any Poultryists because of their asparagus weaponry. When it was October 8751, the vegetarians had destroyed all but 2 of the KFC Mainframe Factories, and they had begun their march to XDPIA (EX-dip-ea). They came upon a small army of Poultryists, determined to save their beloved (yet still condemned) chicken-sanctum.
Upon meeting the Poultryists at one of the last remaining factories, the vegetarians weren't prepared for the weaponry available to the chicken lovers. The Poultryists had Rubber Chicken Swords, the most feared weapon of all Non-Comedic likenesses! The vegetarians had weapons that consisted only of jumbo-broccoli, asparagus spears, and, also ironically, giant meat catapults. The vegetarians marched towards the Poultryists, preparing to attack. The Poultryists readied their Kitten-Huff Bombs, which consisted of orange tabby cats that were set on fire and had gasoline poured on them. The battle began, sounds of rubber chicken against broccoli stalks, and the CHINGHCHING of meat rocks hitting Kitten-Huff Bombs. The battle ensued this way for over 25.483897345982 days.
The Final Realization[edit | edit source]
On November 12.6, 8751, the Great Chicken Famine, had ended, all due to Lord Christopher Crenshaw. In the final battle, the Poultryists had won, and normalcy returned to most of the country. The KFC Mainframe Factories are back up and running, producing greasy chicken that makes grease that doesn't come off your fingers. Yep, everything was back to normal, except in Southeast Hong-Kong, where they are without power for the 13,759,875,838,958,938,750,932,897,509,820 days in a row, but who cares about Hong-Kong? Everyone in the world now enjoys their chicken, but what about their asparagus?!?
