Portal:Geography

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The Geography Portal

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The World is a big (theoretically) round place inhabited by many species of plants, animals and the dreaded Planimals. Many religions have different theories about the creation of the world, from Intelligent Design, to Unintelligent Design. However, the truth is far less dramatic. In actuality, the world was created by God, but He soon regretted this choice. Ownership of the world currently belongs to Great Britain who won the 2 competitions in deciding ownership which were held in 1914 and 1939.

There are rumours of so called "History" from before the period, but these are filthy lies perpetrated by scientists in order to hide their real plan of turning the world into Yoghurt in bitter resentment of their continuing virginity. The Yoghurt is apparently very symbolic, but seeing as you need a PhD in chemistry and 6 years experience in nuclear reactors, it hardly seems worth it. (Full article...)


Geography is a valiant attempt to understand absolutely everything that happens on the Earth's surface. Geographers steal from Geologists, Geophyicists, Economists, Sociologists, Anthropologists, Philosophers, Physicists and Chemists to create pointless spatial analyses. As a result, Geographers know a shitload about many, many things, and fuck all about anything in detail. When being taught as a school subject, geography is known as colouring in for morons. (Full article...)

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Modern day Assyria. Red airplanes represent all of the places that have been bombed.

Assyria was one of the greatest empires of Antiquity, situated on the Northeast bank of the Tigris. The word Assyria is derived from mât Aššur, which is the ancient Mesopotamian term for "Land of Assyrius," the flying Minotaur god of Assyria. The western and eastern parts of Assyria consist of two alluvial plains, where irrigation enables agriculture; a vital part of Assyria's economy. The capital of Assyria, which is located between the eastern and western plains at the southern base of the Tigris, is named after the ancient Assyrian god Anuus.

Society and Economy

It is believed that Assyria's civilization resulted from the immigration of a tribe of nomadic goat herders into the area from Middle Earth around 2500 BCE. These people settled in small villages on the wide open plains of Assyria, and then created an intricate system of irrigation that would eventually feed their thriving agriculture.

Written by Zana Dark
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Featured Folk

The most destructive civilization to ever walk the earth.

Aztecs

The Aztecs, long considered as the Mesoamerican equivalent of Spartans, were a collection of ethnic groups well known for perfecting the delicate art of ripping the still beating heart from a man's rib-cage.

Their intricate culture of random violence and ceremonial organ theft became known throughout the West through the chronicles of Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez in which he described the natives as "batshit insane lunatics" and "get me the f**k out of here".

Many of these unique cultural hallmarks stem from the Aztec’s religion which roughly dictates that their pantheon of gods require round-the-clock blood donations to continue functioning or the world would implode on itself.

Written by That Which Is
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The national economy of China depends upon its humblest workers.
Image by MeepStarLives
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Geography News

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A new map of Europe.

EUROPE - European countries often have particularly funny and catchy names such as "Hungary" and "Turkey". When these names of countries get spoken, stupid people who believe they are funny often crack a flat joke like If you're Hungary I'm Tired! HAHA!, but the joke often results in a glare instead of a laugh. But do European governments laugh at these jokes? Apparently so, otherwise they would not have changed their countries' names to things like "Thirsty", "Tired", and "Sick".

Most of the countries to have taken part in this sensations were ones around the countries of Turkey and Hungary. The first country to act in this wide spread change was Slovakia, a country just north of Hungary. They officially changed their name from "Slovakia" to "Thirsty". The world gasped in shock at the news, but many countries followed suit. Ukraine, Romania, Austria and Switzerland quickly hopped onto the country name band wagon, and the theme was child's complaints often heard in a moving vehicle on a family road trip.…

Archive Article credit: Readmesoon (more...)
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