Portal:Geography

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The Geographic Portal
Not pictured: the elephants holding it all together

The World is a big (theoretically) round place inhabited by many species of plants, animals and the dreaded Planimals. Many religions have different theories about the creation of the world, from Intelligent Design, to Unintelligent Design. However, the truth is far less dramatic. In actuality, the world was created by God, but He soon regretted this choice. Ownership of the world currently belongs to Great Britain who won the 2 competitions in deciding ownership which were held in 1914 and 1939. (See more...)

Geography is a valiant attempt to understand absolutely everything that happens on the Earth's surface. Geographers steal from Geologists, Geophyicists, Economists, Sociologists, Anthropologists, Philosophers, Physicists and Chemists to create pointless spatial analyses. As a result, Geographers know a shitload about many, many things, and fuck all about anything in detail. When being taught as a school subject, geography is known as colouring in for morons. (See more...)

Featured Article
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I HATE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!! No, seriously: it's fucking lame. Don't believe me? You're lame, too. I have scientific evidence on my side. The Bermuda Triangle is a bunch of New Age horseshit, and may even be a pyramid scheme. Here's why.

The Bermuda Triangle is an imaginary area of ocean between Bermuda, Puerto Rico, and Myanmar. The idea is that you draw lines between these islands and then inside the triangle there are ghosts. Spooky!...if you're three years old. "Oh noes mommy!! Teh bad water is going to eat teh boats!!!" Grow up! The Bermuda Triangle is just a story made up by sailors, and here's a hint: sailors are drunk 95% of the time. These are the same people that came up with patent nonsense like mermaids and neap tides, and now you're letting them tell you that this one specific area of water shaped like a triangle is going to leap out like the alien does in that movie Alien and rip your face off? No way, because that alien was awesome and the Bermuda Triangle is definitely not awesome. (See more...)

Featured Explorers
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Amerigo Vespucci (March 9, 1454 – February 22, 1512) was an Italian cartographer. Born in Florence, he quickly established a fondness for two things: drawing maps and naming things after himself. These twin obsessions made him something of a social outcast in his own time; however, he has since attracted a certain degree of renown.

Vespucci once held the distinction of being the only historical figure to become immensely famous for doing absolutely nothing noteworthy; however, this accomplishment was eventually replicated by George Washington Carver and, later, by Kim Kardashian.

Vespucci was born to wealthy merchant Giovanni Vespucci and his wife, whose name history has forgotten because women are not important. A popular tale holds that Vespucci's first act on earth was to point to himself and exclaim "Amerigo Vespucci", thereby naming himself. However, this tale is likely apocryphal, because babies cannot speak. (See more...)

Featured Image
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Generally speaking, this graphic is actually a very factual viewpoint.
Around the World
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SAIGON, Vietnam — The Americans spend their Dollar. The Britains buy with the Pound. Mexicans employ the Peso, Russians save the Ruble, and Germans parlay the Mark.

Vietnamese use the Dong and they're not happy about it.

"Why no one tell us?!" said Dien Phat, a store owner in Saigon. "Tourist laugh!" Tourists say; "How much one soda?" I say: "One Dong!" Tourist laugh! Tourist say: '"How much one newspaper?'" I say '"Two Dong!" Tourist laugh and laugh! I no know why! Tourist say "How much for bowl of soup?'"I say "Soup-10 Dongs!" Tourist fall on floor laughing! Tourist say; "10 Dong for one bowl of soup?! Big dong!' I say "Okay smaller Dong." Tourist laugh and laugh more! Say "You lowering your Dong?!" Tourist pee pants, go to hospital, no breathe! I think "What happening?! Dis always happen! Happen 6 times last month!" Turns out, 'Dong' mean's 'Pee-pee' to tourist! I so angry at Government!". (See more...)

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