Mesopotamia
“Huh?”
“If a slave insults the fine country that is Mesopotamia, his owner must give him 42 lashings or mighty Shamash will strike out his tongue with a bolt of sky-fire. If a free man insults it, he will be fined two shekels.”
“Sargon, Hammurabi, Ashurbanipal, and Gilgamesh”
Etymology[edit | edit source]
The word Mesopotamia is believed by some to come from ancient greek Μεσ' ο' Ποταμια, roughly translated as a heck of a lot of hippopotami. Greeks deny this, claiming they weren't even there when the last of these lovely animals died 65 million years ago. Another stupid theory is that it in fact means Garden of Eden, from meso (olde Arabyc русский), eden, and potamia (modern parlance wesaþ hāl), copious quantities of pots. Some say the name means "flying bananas." Some claim that Mesopotamia was a practice civilization for the Tamians, thus Mess-up-o'-Tamia. The Illuminati, however, proclaimed it as the Land of the Pedophiles.
Of course all are wrong, it actually means Land Of The Awesome People of da Whores.
History[edit | edit source]
Mesopotamia, also known as "The Asscrack of Two Rivers," was founded around A LONG TIME AGO!!! B.C., by a 13 year old who was bored and didn't have anything to do. (Remember this is a time before Youtube existed.) The 13 year old's name was Bob McBob, who heard from his creepy old neighbor who probably stalks him, that their was a lost land called Mesopotamia between two rivers in the middle of the WHOTHEFUCKCARES Desert. So the 13 year old tried to find the lost land of Mesopotamia. So, he rented a camel off of Craigslist and rode into the desert trying to find Mesopotamia. After 15 minutes he found Mesopotamia, but Bob tried to swim across a river that was dry to get into Mesopotamia, but Bob was mentally retarded due to being inbred, so he almost drowned while trying to swim across the river. So Bob took out a Crayola marker and drew a lightning bolt on his head and transformed into HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!! And he took out his wand and said "POOF!" kind of like the on the Fairly Odd Parents, and Mesopotamia and all otf its people, and their buildings, and their McDonalds and all those other stupid things that they had sunk into the desert sand and went underground. However, Bob knew people were going to notice that he wiped out an entire civilization so he saw some random Arabs and made them repopulate Mesopotamia, and rebuild Babylon into Bag Daddy. Thus, the native Iraqis aren't actually Mesopotamian, true Mesopotamians lived underground,so if you want to see real life specimen of Mesopotmaian, take a shovel go to Iraq and dig.
Obligatory Oscar Wilde Reference[edit | edit source]
Following God's Great Act of Terrorism, Oscar Wilde, a consummate terrorist himself, terrorizing many young men to audiences all over the world, was said to have visited the hallowed place and declare: "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to commit suicide there." This goes some way to explaining why the region's biggest export remains to this day suicide bombers. It is also believed that Oscar Wilde ate oil sandwiches in his spare time. When questioned, Mr. Wilde declined to comment.