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Today's featured article
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Harvard Einstein (known professionally as Harvey Weinstein) is an American filmmaker, feminist, philanthropist, political activist, and ladies' man who has produced many breathtaking films. Weinstein is perhaps best known for producing the intellectually deep and dramatic romantic comedy Shakespeare in Love (1998), for which he won an Academy Award. As a member of New York's high society, Weinstein has also won seven Tony Awards.

Weinstein has been active on social issues such as women's rights, mainly helping victims of workplace sexual harassment. Weinstein has also been a longtime supporter and donor to the Democratic Party, including the campaigns of Barack Obama, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris, and especially John Edwards. (Full article...)

In the news
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SIX SEVEN!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • the New England Patriots suddenly being good again

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they might actually miss the playoffs • Weed

On this day in history
It's the Alan Bean-ie Baby!

November 27: Thanksgiving Day (U.S.), Alan Bean Appreciation Day (Moon)

  • 1969 - Alan Bean walks on the moon, saying, "This is one stall smep for man, ah fuck!"
  • 1970 - Mrs. Bean notices husband is still not back from the Moon, sets up trust fund.
  • 1985 - Alan Bean shoots the Challenger Space Shuttle out of the sky; gives a fiendish little shrug when asked why by reporters.
  • 1989 - A mutated version of Alan Bean is killed by Russian Cosmonauts.
Featured biography
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Sam "I won that debate against Chomsky" Harris is a bear of a man, with a mind of unparalleled genius, whose august presence on the internet makes The Discourse that much more civil and rational and smart. Sam Harris is best known for never losing an argument online, and solving all of the philosophy using logic and facts. Before Sam Harris published his book The End of Faith in 2004, no one had thought to use rationality and reason to explore philosophical ideas: philosophy hitherto Sam Harris was made up mostly of pussy God lovers like Søren Kierkegaard who believed in fairy tales because they weren't rational and logical and right about stuff like Sam Harris is.

Today Sam Harris has become a light, shining effervescent in a world dimmed by the evils of Islam and people who disagree with me. Sam Harris has written many books, very long books with little to no pictures, filled with great ideas. Sam Harris has appeared in the prestigious TED talks, where he speaks in a suave and bookish monotone, dispensing his wisdom the way a sprinkler dispenses the succulent water to the hungry hungry grass. Harris has also founded the "Nuke the Muslims until their bones are glass" school of moral philosophy.

Sam Harris was born into this reality like any other rational thinker: pale, wrinkling, writhing, and beaming with potential. He emerged from the flesh cocoon of womanhood into a world chained by anti-intellectualism and its heralds, who are called priests or imams (but mostly imams). (Full article...)

Picture of the day
DJ Beathoven
 DJ Beathoven was one of the early pioneers of dubstep. He is known for the unique wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub sound of his music.

Image credit: Zombiebaron
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Did You Know?
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  • ... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)
  • ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk?
  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
  • ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
  • ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
  • ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
  • ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads?
  • ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
  • ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
Featured story

The Quagga of Kuala Lumpur

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The humble quagga

Often a man may find answers in battle, for such a man the epiphenomenon of their innermost thoughts pervade the empyrean shores of sheer fantasy. For such a man indeed the Quagga is the most valuable thing, for another such man, it is but a trifle. For the common man The Case of the Quagga of Kuala Lumpur is one of the more bizarre instances of law and order in the 20th century. The Quagga is an endangered beast that must be retrieved from the trischopian thought processes of a diabolic mind, cultured by the best philosophy and a taste for whale foreskin sofas. A mind honed to the methods of Greenock as well as the subtle arts of necromancy and the bestial needs of lesser men as well as having a perversity which only good breeding would allow.

It was well known that the Parisian chief constable was often seen to converse with Dr. Finnius Greenock, whom I have the privilege of sharing a mansion in the more modest area of Paris, France. Greenock was famed in areas of parochial law enforcement for his abilities in unsurpassed reason and the less than orthodox sciences such as metaphysics and complex logic. Greenock was also known to use the visions of chemically induced states which he was accustomed to employ in his pursuit of truth. (Full story...)

Featured HowTo

HowTo:Write the Great American Novel

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The Great American Novel is not just any novel. Any novel could tell a story; Any novel could have dozens upon dozens of product placements. The Great American Novel has to tell the greatest of all stories; place the greatest of all products.

Furthermore, and not a bit too soon, any novel can bring a strong man to his knees, crying over the powerful tragedy of the tale. But only the Great American Novel can make that same man howl in pain over the immense emotional overtones of the tale, and make him curl into a ball, crying for his mommy.

This is the guide to writing the Great American Novel. (Full HowTo...)

Featured Why?

Why?:Sell Cocaine to Monkeys

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Hey guys, I'm Buzz Aldrin!

Why, hello, young traveler. Have you ever wondered to yourself, on one of your many excursions to the zoo, whether or not giving cocaine to the monkeys in the exhibit is such a good idea? Have you ever asked yourself questions such as "Should I do it?" or "Where can I find some?" or "Is it even safe?"

Well, you‘re in luck. First off, I would like to assure you that giving cocaine to monkeys is indeed an entirely safe procedure. Some might even consider it safer than giving humans cocaine! Imagine that? Not only is it safe, however, but indeed a very lucrative venture as well. Just think of the possibilities. Think about them. Think. Are you thinking? Yes, I know what you're thinking. The possibilities are indeed endless.

But heck, don't take my word for it. I'm just legendary space adventurer and All-American hero Buzz Aldrin. (Full Why?)

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