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Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
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- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
 - ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
- ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
- ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that there's only a slight difference between you and me? (Pictured)
- ... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
- ... no, you didn't! Stop lying!
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
- ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
 - ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that bestiality just got 15 percent more legal?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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