User:TheLick/Main Page
Today's featured article
Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)
Did you know?
- ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured)
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
- ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
- ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
In the news
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
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Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city?
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons
On this day
March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico)
- 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over.
- 1876 - The Industrial revolution makes its first major breakthrough with the invention of the Steam-Powered Accordian.
- 1943 - Anne Frank runs out of pencil lead on her mechanical pencil, has to use pen like a barbarian.
- 1990 - Lithuania declares independence from the Soviet Union, kills thousands of innocent Lenin statues.
- 2004 - Hundreds of bucking bulls are accidentally released onto the streets of Madrid during that tomato throwing festival, carnage ensues.
- 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands.
- 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophecy, space-time collapses in upon itself.
Picture of the day
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A WWI-era Jarhead recruiting poster helped to bring many new recruits into the beloved US Marine Corps. Image credit: One-eyed_Jack |
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