User:TheLick/Main Page

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40,982 articles in English

Today's featured article

PrivateEye2.jpg

Private Eye, that's what the letters spell out on the glass to the door of my office. New York City is a tough place to make a living and if you try to sing the blues you'll quickly find out that you're not even good enough to be another voice in the choir. Down on Broadway, it's a dog eat dog world so I make a little money on the side selling milk-bone underwear to hungry tourists or anything else that makes a sound like money. Anyone who lives here can smell the rat in this cheese factory but nobody's saying anything because having morals on Broadway is like celebrating mother's day at the orphanage - It makes you feel good but everyone stares at you like a nun in a string bikini. People don't normally need a Private Eye but when their chickens come home to roost it's a little like being the only cabbage farmer in town on St. Patrick's Day. Eventually they all show up at my door with a sob story and a dirty job that'll pay the bills. (Full article...)

Did you know?

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  • ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it?
  • ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?

In the news

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Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran

Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran

Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

On this day

Isn't she a hottie?

March 8: International Men Without Penises Day

  • 4000 BC - God creates Eve, Adam celebrates that he doesn't have to keep stroking it by himself.
  • 4001 BC - Eve forces Adam to sleep outside the hut after expecting free handies without anything in return.
  • 1919 - Women marching on Washington, D.C. seeking the right to vote cite Oscar Wilde's play A Woman of No Importance as an example of misogynistic views.
  • 1935 - Sophia blesses the women of the Earth by giving them the G-Spot, although men are cursed to never find it.
  • 1978 - Your mother is born. According to statistics, she likely experiences 18-34 years of relative ease before you are born.
  • 2026 - Losers on 4chan and Reddit rant about how they never got the girl of their dreams (Pictured), despite being "nice guys."

Picture of the day

Chickenbox
 And they said it couldn't be done.

Image credit: Tom mayfair
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,982 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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