User:TheLick/Main Page

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Today's featured article

Illustration of Brain.png

Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.

As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)

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In the news

Jack-Hughes-bloody-smile.jpg
He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life

Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • M-m-m-Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and other Iranian leaders

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico • Smiling Friends

On this day

You are likely to be eaten by a grue

March 1: International Grue Day

  • 1950 - Grues are first discovered living under couch cushions and inside tumble dryers.
  • 1964 - Grue farmers release a whole colony of Grues into the wild, to hunt them for their silky and fragrant hide.
  • 1972 - Louisiana Grue hunter and businessman Phil Robertson invents the Grue Call a whistle which imitates the dulcet mating call of the Grue.
  • 1974 - While protesting the selling of Grue hide, one hippie is accidentally eaten by a Grue. It was a one time thing, they only do that when they're hungry.
  • 1981 - The Grue population enters a rapid decline due to overhunting and a government campaign to vilify the grue.
  • 1999 - The Grue Relations through Understanding and Empathy (GRUE) organization is formed to combat harmful memes about Grues and their supposed danger to society.
  • 2001 - GRUE are all eaten by grues.

Picture of the day

Drunk Olympics
 The Drunk Olympics is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in several sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. It has spawned the creation of several organized competitions, including Thunderdome and Cup Stacking.

Image credit: The Thinker
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