User:TheLick/Main Page

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Today's featured article

MonkeyInFridge69.png

Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.

Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.

Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!

Hold on...

Why is my hair roller in here?

Wait...

This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?

Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.

Just a minute...

WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)

Did you know?

Avatar.jpg
  • ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?

In the news

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"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!"

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z)

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about

On this day

Gone but not forgotten.

February 21: Put Off Learning a Foreign Language Day

Picture of the day

Adventure Time with Lewis the Dog and Clark the Human
 Expedition Time!
Come on, grab your guides
We'll go to very distant lands
With Lewis the Governor and Clark the veteran
The fun will never end, it's Expedition Time!

Image credit: Nikau (talk)
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