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Today's featured article
Mrs. God's blog is republished from Facebook with permission of the author.
Hiiiii!
Just a few words from me, Mrs God. I know you haven’t heard from me much over the years, but now that my hubby’s away…
First of all, let me reassure everyone – “God is not dead”. We heard a lot of that in the 60s. It wasn’t true then and it’s not true now. Phew!
It IS true that He picked up a bit of a coke habit – and I can tell you, God moved in some peculiar ways back then. But we’ve finally persuaded Him to face His issues and booked Him into Rehab – He said “No, no, no” for thirty years and when God says “No” it’s very hard to change His mind but He's finally checked into the Priory and we're hoping He can work through some of His issues and make a full recovery. (Full article...)
Did you know?
- ... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)
- ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
- ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
- ...that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
In the news
- Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured)
- Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever
- Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile
- Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury
- Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill"
- United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins
- Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on
- Trump joins in for threesome, blows load
- Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out
- Elon Musk breaks up with Trump
- Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone"
- Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise
- THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)
Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game
On this day
- 1796 – Carl Friedrich Gauss discovers that every positive integer is representable as a sum of at most three triangular numbers, yet he remains steadfastly confounded by other number-shapes such as the octagonal numbers and the irritating square pi.
- 1821 – The United States takes possession of its newly bought territory of Florida from Spain. The state instantly becomes recognized for its oranges, old people, hurricanes, and other stereotypes, except for Disney World which was not constructed until 1875.
- 1938 – Diabolical billionaire Howard Hughes sets a new record by completing a 91 hour flight around the world in just 87 hours.
- 2005 – Microsoft decides to remove the "Undo" button from all its programs, "for customer convenience".
- 2006 – Realizing their mistake in the previous year, Microsoft tries to fix the problem, yet is unable to Undo the mistake due to the lack of a button enabling this process.
- 2007 – On the anniversary of its acquisition by the United States, Florida is flooded while ironically leaving Sea World above water (pictured).
Picture of the day
This picture was painted at the scene of George Bush's recent visit to Iraq. Locals rushed out to greet him, as he went about his official business: visiting the sick and needy, dispensing worldly and timeless wisdom, even finding time to heal a few lepers. Image credit: Spang |
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