You have two cows

"Beware of flesh-eating bovines"

Devour their flesh before they devour yours!

Correction: you had two cows.

You have two cows is the ultimate philosophical truth. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedians. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:

$Moo\cdot \left(\sin \left(Cow_{A}\right)+\cos \left(Cow_{B}\right)\right)\,\!=2\cdot {Cows}$

This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:

$\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{A}\right)}+\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{B}\right)}\,\!=\log _{\left(2\,Cow\right)}{\left(Moo\right)}$

Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A longstanding tradition of mathematics is discovering new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 are known.

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however needs only a pint of milk, but you need to deliver it through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!
	1. Analysis 2. Anime 3. Bovine Quotes 4. Cowmedy 5. Emootions 6. Endings 7. Famous Cows 8. Groups	9. This cow does not exist 10. In the Moos 11. Language of Cows 12. Literature 13. Moosical Moovements 14. Moovies 15. Non-Video Games 16. People	17. Politicowl Junk 18. Programming Languages 19. Religion 20. Software 'n Such 21. Sound of Moo-sic 22. Television 23. Travel 24. Video Games	24.2. Video Games Volume 2 24.3. Video Games Volume 3 25. World and Web of Cows 26. You Have n Cows 27. Science 28. Moodicine 29. Game Consoles 30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism
“Only together can we turn the cows to the Dark Side of the Fence.” ~ Emperor Palpatine on You have two cows

Related articles

• Cow arson
• Cowation
• Cowbell
• Dinner

External links

• What will happen to your two cows

References

Featured Article (read another featured article)

Featured version: 9 June 2005

This article has been featured on the front page. You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.Template:FA/09 June 2005Template:FA/2005Template:FQ/09 June 2005Template:FQ/2005

‏‏‏

‏