User talk:StonedJeff

Hello, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I'll be your designated nurse... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 22:06, 15 March 2009

Welcome!

Hello, StonedJeff, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:StonedJeff/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider contributing to Uncyclopedia's current colonization of the week, a group writing project to improve a single popular article. Anyone is welcome to contribute, so come help out!

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:01, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Computer paper

I like the concept, but it needs expansion. I can help you with formatting. Feel free to change back whatever edits you don't like.

Cheers, ~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:31, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks

yeah its my first one feel free to do whatever you want and add anything thanks

Help?

You tagged this with {{Help}}, what appars to be the problem, I might be able to help:)?--Sycamore (Talk) 16:10, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

ha um idk just a proofread by someone else and see if anything should be added...and is it any good? thanks --StonedJeff 19:18, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

I've had look, usually pretty obvious stuff is place to starrt, links, images, expansion and polishing it off. We hve a system where you can get your article reviewed so that you can get some in-depth help with your article. We call it Pee Review and it can be found here. Also some great tips cna be picked up on the beginners guide nad HTBFANJS. Hope this helps:)--Sycamore (Talk) 07:55, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

thats cool thanks

Stars, by Hum

That's one of my all time favorite tracks... (No. 8 is good also)... So, I know you wanted MrN9000 to adopt you, but I think that we have way more in common, so if you want, I can help you with all your articles... Let me know, and I'll add the appropriate templates. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:50, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

ha for sure i havent heard from him you can def adopt me – Preceding unsigned comment added by StonedJeff (talk • contribs)

Sorry about that. I have been slacking. Zana will take good care of you I'm sure. Hopefully by starting out showing you about signing your posts on talk pages with ~~~~. Have fun.MrN 18:48, Mar 7

ha no thats totally cool...i didnt mean to just ditch out on you by the way --StonedJeff 03:14, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

We're all friends here, so no worries. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask me on my talk page... or even if you just want to talk about random things. I can help you make a cool signature for yourself, add images, format, grammar, etc. Whatever you need to help your little baby thoughts become full-grown articles! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:35, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

hey thanks alot i appreciate it --StonedJeff 16:22, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

PLS entry

Sure, I would love to help! Let me know whateva you have in mind.... Also: HowTo:Take a Dump needs some more work. I tagged it with the {{Construction}} template to give us more time to work on it. It needs photos and links. I will help with formatting in a little bit. I need to be away for the next day or so, but I will pop in quickly here and there! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:33, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

hahaha wow yeah i was canned when i did that one i dont no wat i was thinking....check this out did u evr read moby dick? thaks btw --StonedJeff 21:31, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Only the cliff notes. I can research it though. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

OK, so I made a bunch of edits to HowTo:Take a Dump. Please revert or undo anything you don't like. Notice that I added more images (MrN9000 added the top one) and removed the {{Construction}} template, as it is now pretty much how an article should look. Remember that there is always room for improvement, though, so add some more to it if you can! The last thing I do is add it to the recent article template on the main page, so people can read it! I will help you with this step until you're not so new anymore. I'm back online by the way, so let's get started on your PLS entry! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:59, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Ohh...we reading Moby Dick in english now...and Ishmael and Queequag are kinda like ambiguously gay if you wanna get like how badly look at chapter like 11-15 there way to close...so i was thinking about writing about Moby Dick and presenting it as a book about a gay fishing couple or something roughly along those lines if ya catch my drift?....and loads of thanks for the editing and formatting because i can't format for my life --StonedJeff 22:12, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

GOOD STUFFS! Here's where you should write the article: User:StonedJeff/UnBooks:Moby Dick.

Click on the link and create the page. Add {{PLS-WIP}} to the page and I'll help you enter it into the contest. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:20, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Rad thanks alot im guna start working on it --StonedJeff 21:35, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Check it...i got a decent start on it mind having a look?...i'm gunna keep working on it i just got alot of real stuff to do ya no?...thanks!! --StonedJeff 21:54, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Okay, so it looks like you're off to a good start. Unfortunately, part of the rules of PLS states that I cannot help you with the entered article. I can help with any other article, just not the one you're entering... sorry! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:15, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Computer paper and others...

Keep in mind that you're going to have to add some pictures to your articles, so you may want to start collecting some. Keep track of their names as you upload them, and let me know if you need help with the code to add them. Remember: Instead of stating the obvious, show the obvious, and state what is best left unsaid. If all else fails, be ambiguous about it. It's always funnier in situation rather than narrative. Think SNL TV Funhouse, that sort of thing.... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 03:14, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeaah i know any formatting tips? so i can take of that myself.....and yeaah i always forget i'll look at some pictures now...how much should i write? i mean i can't summarize the whole book it's massive...and finally honestly is it funny at all? don't be nice i can take it

Always break up the larger portions of text into easy-to-read chunks. Also, Insert headers and bold text where appropriate. Take formatting cues from HowTo:Take a Dump, it's currently nominated to be featured on the main page! Good work!!! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:57, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

no way!!...faaar outt ha thanks for the tips!

No, problem... I am always happy to help. On a side note: don't forget to sign all your comments by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. I can help you make a cooler signature if you want, just let me know. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:34, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

yeah i tend --StonedJeff 19:35, 14 March 2009 (UTC) to forget --StonedJeff 19:35, 14 March 2009 (UTC) that--StonedJeff 19:35, 14 March 2009 (UTC) hopefully that makes up --StonedJeff 19:35, 14 March 2009 (UTC) for all the missed ones --StonedJeff 19:35, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Everyone has more votes than me!...and can i enter that for PLS? or is there a rule against it?

Give it a little time, you have a lot of votes for how long it's been up. Unfortunately, the PLS entry has to be a new article... and no one can help you with it. It has to be all your own, no exceptions. If you're stuck, don't worry about entering the PLS and just write funny articles... There will be another PLS soon enough. And besides, having a featured article is better than winning the PLS, in my opinion. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:59, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah it isn't that big a deal...I'm working on another article too can you take a look? I was with my friends with and i had a couple jokes that had my friends crackin up so i though i'd write them down and build an article around it...i haven't written that part yet and it's really rough i just wanted to get some ideas down so it def will get better just let me know what you think so far...i'm looking for another nomination with this one so PLEASE edit away!!! also i'm gunna add some pictures so i'll let you know when i find some good ones --StonedJeff 20:27, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

User:StonedJeff/HowTo:Pick Up Chicks

Perfect, kinda goes with my ideas here: User:Zana_Dark/Chick_Magnet. I think I can whip this into one hell of an article! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:51, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

hahaha acid washed denim and frayed tees...um same wavelength or what?!...yeah we defnitely got something here though...and I'm less than half finished...the part i was telling to my friends is the one that i haven't started but it's listed there...it was funny when i thought of it but in retrospect i feel like it'll be less funny reading it idk maybe i'm just being self-conscious when i do it i'll let you know and you gotta tell me if it is funny or not...o and i found this pic of arnold as the terminator and his face is all gnarly so i wanna add that to mine how do i do that? --StonedJeff 21:01, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Easy as 1-2-3.

First, upload the pic to Uncyclopedia's server.

Use this code to insert your images:

Full size - [[Image:Oscar wilde mage.JPG]]

With a caption (XXXpx is the displayed image width in pixels} - [[Image:Oscar wilde mage.JPG|thumb|XXXpx|caption]]

Right (or left. Center too.) - [[Image:Oscar wilde mage.JPG|100px|right]]

And you can add more than one option, for instance: - [[Image:Oscar wilde mage.JPG|right|thumb|100px|Easy as 1-2-3.]]

appears on the page like this:

Hope this helps. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 22:00, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

LMFAO!...thanks loads of help...and take a look at the article it is a GEM--StonedJeff 02:17, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey can i put a link to your article in mine?...like "For a more in depth look at how to dress and be attractive see Zana Darks User:Zana_Dark/Chick_Magnet--StonedJeff 20:56, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I will come by to help you with formatting soon, and I'll interlink the two articles before I move them into the mainspace. Get used to using the 'history' button to review the different edits I make, reverting or undoing whatever you don't like. Also: take note of formatting code that I add to make the page prettier, and ask me if you have any questions at all! I hope you win NOtM, That would be sweeet! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 21:13, 15 March 2009

Sounds good and yeah I'll make sure I check how your doing stuff...like how do you make titles lesser than your main one? And I know!! I'm so exicted!! :D!!! NotM and nominated for a featured article?! Crazy stuff maaaan...thanks to you of course--StonedJeff 21:23, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

NOTM

You have been nominated for Noob of the Month. You can vote for yourself here. --Docile hippopotamus 04:14, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks maaann i just voted i didn't think i'd be doing so well ya no? i just joined when i was stoned for shits and gigs...now look where it's taken me haha --StonedJeff 16:18, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Duude, you forgot to sign your vote, using four tildes: ~~~~ - Go back and sign it, man! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:05, 15 March 2009

goo!--StonedJeff 20:51, 15 March 2009 (UTC)--StonedJeff 20:51, 15 March 2009 (UTC)--StonedJeff 20:51, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Dire Straits

Big fan of them? --Docile hippopotamus 20:57, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Haha yeah there great...Romeo and Juliet, Sultans of Swing, Skateaway...hbu?--StonedJeff 21:01, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Sultan of Swings, Lady Writer, Money for Nothing are great, and the ones you mentioned. --Docile hippopotamus 04:45, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

hell yeah brrro...thanks for the votes on my stuff too...even though i didn't get featured-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 22:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Your New and Improved Signature

I made you a signature you can edit. User:StonedJeff/sig To use it, in your preferences click the raw signatures link and paste this code into your 'nickname' field: {{SUBST:nosubst|User:StonedJeff/sig}}

Looks like this right now:  - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me

Enjoy! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 23:54, 15 March 2009

i love you. -- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:07, 16 March 2009 (UTC)-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:07, 16 March 2009 (UTC)-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:07, 16 March 2009 (UTC)-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:07, 16 March 2009 (UTC)-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:07, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Signing comments

Its best to sign comments as well, like the one on NOTM, "haha alright thanks maaan". And nice signature you have. --Docile hippopotamus 04:45, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

HowTo:Pick Up Chicks

I recommend you remove the Arnold Image. It's a bit vulgar, and doesn't quite fit with the flow of the article. It's up to you... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 06:18, 17 March 2009

Yeah it's whatever...and um lmfao...you make my articles so much better I can't even describe it. Btw ya see i got in a little trouble HA. Btw btw...I'm 16...not that that means anything i just don't want you thinking you're talking to some burnout 35 year old or something with nothing better to do. -- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:10, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

I would never think that. I am a 28 year old burnout with nothing better to do (apparently). I think you're obviously very talented for your age, and the fact that you care to contribute to this site is reason enough for me to stick around and help you. Just be carefull that you don't piss the wrong people off, you know? I want to continue to read your stuff, and would hate it if you got banned for longer. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:58, 18 March 2009

When you are ready, I think the article can be moved to the mainspace. Let me know. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:49, 18 March 2009

Yeah yeah i'll relax i quit smoking so i dont lose my scholarship (was failing math and chem0 so im just irritable and why not take it out here wheres theres no repercussions? but its all good im guna b fine. and i realllly appreciate that i love writing but im insecure about people reading it so thanks ya no......and finally about the article i wanna add just a little more maybe one small section just to wrap things up so i'll let you no when i do tht or if u just notice i have some kind of conclusion go ahead and give it a one over and put it up in lights!-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:14, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

So I saw that you're banned

And our of curiosity I followed up on the trail to see what was the issue. And let me run two things by you: a. anymore fuss and I'll disqualify you from the NOTM vote. b.the next time you raise your "voice" at anyone, especially at Modus, who is truely the nicest admin around, you'll be banned for a hellaoflot longer. I hope we understand each other. ~ 10:44, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Here's my side of the story...even though I doubt anyone cares. Modus or whoever starts slashing away at comments, yeah one was unsigned. But 3 signed votes slashed? And fine if one vote is allowed I have no problem with rules. But, please clarify the rules. I though, logically, of course you can only vote for yourself once, but it doesn't say you can't also vote against someone or even for someone else. I don't think I'm the only one who would understand "one vote" to mean one vote for each person you're voting for. So!...He could have explained that instead of just saying votes don't count and slashing them, rather arrogantly. And was what I did uncalled for? Yeah it was. Alright thanks. -- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:08, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

He is an administrator. And one of the very best writers we have in this place. And the last thing you can say about him is arrogant - he has his own writing style, but this is far from being arrogant. What you should have done is contact him on his talk page, and he would have explained everything in a nice and clear manner, rather than jumping up and...what was that? "throw your teeth in the the dirt, dork?". Let's try to keep it civil. ~ 09:06, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

At this time, you may vote ONCE for your favourite noob. Seems clear enough to me. And to most other people who vote. Also only signed votes count seems fairly clear. You may just have missed something. (Or your short-term memory isn't great - mine was terrible when I was permanently stoned!) Modus had struck a vote elsewhere for being unsigned, so striking your comment for being unsigned was him joking. On a comedy website. Imagine that! The advice I tend to give is that as this is a comedy website, remember that most of the time we're joking in some way, and try to see the joke. If you can't, then take it up with the individual politely on their talk page as Mordillo says. Most invalid votes get slashed by admins, nothing arrogant about it, we are here to try and make sure the site works properly. So as others suggest: relax, don't take the place seriously, remember why you're here - to write funny stuff, which judging by the evidence you are more than capable of doing. Take a couple of deep breaths, realise that in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter, and go write something! Hope you do - I like what I've seen from you so far! See you around the wiki. =D --UU - natter 09:17, Mar 18

And now that you have three admins breathing sensually in your ear, which I'm sure you like, let's all shake hands and be friends, and carry on. Just don't forget to send me weed on my birthday. It's in two and half(ish) weeks. ~ 09:21, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Vote for your favorite noob once. It doesn't say anything about voting against anyone else. Ya get what I'm saying? and yeah i'll get some real dank stuff for ya bud.-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:11, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

The page distinctly says: "you may vote ONCE for your favorite noob". End of story, you misunderstood. No more messages, K?--    00:24, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Didn't ask you, the way the rules are stated makes them bendable and leaves them open to interpretation.-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:27, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Read Me--    00:29, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

What what is that? I don't know what that is...is that like a subtle insult or something what kind of point are you trying to make?-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:59, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Is this less subtle?--    08:29, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

DrStrange, let go, I think the point has been made. ~ 08:36, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeer sooo coool!...You argue with teenagers!-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 17:53, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

OK, enough already.... HE'S 16!!! Holy mother of Cheesus Chrust! I think we can all just let it go now....You ARE both using a certain someone's pot leaf - so you guys actually have a lot in common. =) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:34, 19 March 2009

Seriously

(diff) (hist) . .  Uncyclopedia:Noob of the Month‎; 00:16 . . (+774) . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) (←Undid revision 3711689 by 
StonedJeff If you remove somthing like that from a talk page 1 more time I'm going to cut your balls off. DON'T DO IT.)

I'm not even joking. You have already had several warnings. Tune in, chill out, cop out, do whatever the hell you need to but... This site is not out to get you, we just do things a certain way. DO NOT REMOVE EDITS FROM TALK PAGES. Thank you. MrN 00:26, Mar 18

Oh i guess that's cool...i take shots at a guy...so some other guy who should just mind his own business takes shots at me? yeah i guess thats cool.-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:31, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

I don't really care about that. I'm telling you not to remove content from talk pages. Do you understand that? MrN 00:37, Mar 18

Are you really stoned? I am very stoned at all times and I think you're trippin' and need to chill. Drop it.--    00:35, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

You should listen to them, Jeff. Unfortunately we have to draw the line somewhere. If you can dish it out, you can take it. Laugh, and write better articles. That's all you can really do. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:25, 18 March 2009

Alright bud...and does anyone think this is bothering me that much i don't live on my computer i dont care what happens on it i have a real life thats where i care about stuff.-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:07, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

you're missing the point again. Nobody wants to "bother you". People are being forced to bother you in the course of their duties. Your attitude hasn't changed a bit and that's unfortunate.--    00:15, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

I didn't say I feel like people are bothering me. Let me clarify...the situation that has been created is NOT bothering me and I just don't care so I think we can all stop messaging me now.-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 00:21, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

UnBooks:Moby Dick

Hows working on the unbooks doing? --Docile hippopotamus 10:34, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Writer's block man I'm just pretending that project doesn't exist right now...feel free to play around with it...or change the whole thing i dont care-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 17:51, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Pond Whales has images you could use, and Why?:Nuke the whales might be good for inspiration. --Docile hippopotamus 20:32, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks i'll check that out-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 22:16, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Will you be able to finish UnBooks:Moby Dick by the end of the month? --Docile hippopotamus 03:23, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't count on it...forget that PLS thing you can remove that and edit it if you want I'm too lazy to work on it-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 17:18, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

hi

What do you think of The Woodburninator? I'm writing an article and I want to add your response to it. --Docile hippopotamus 01:30, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

i'll check him out now bud...ha what do you want me to say? what is the article about? you want like a long response or just like ya no he looks like a swell guy-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 03:16, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

The article is about The Woodburninator. Say whatever you want, whatever is good with you. --Docile hippopotamus 03:23, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

He looks like a messed up mofo...but a good writer and a swell guy...hows that? ha i dont know what else to say-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 03:59, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes thats good. --Docile hippopotamus 04:28, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

alrighty then-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 17:16, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Formatting

This should answer most of your formatting questions. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 09:44, 22 March 2009

Thanks very much-- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 17:17, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Picture

I found this picture and I needed to show you it.

--Docile hippopotamus 05:07, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

lol nice nice...yeah sorry im answering this late i got school and baseball and im in a play and its all crazy so i actuly stopped smoking for awhile ha and i had to stop dickin around on here i'm gunna try and come back this summer when i have time ya no -- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 01:22, 23 April 2009 (UTC)

that will be great. Leave me a message on my talk page when you return this summer. --Docile hippopotamus 07:28, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

Meee tooooooo!!!!!!! I miss ya, bud! ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 16:46, 24 April 2009

ello ello, im suposed to be doing a history project but i dont wanna so i came to my favorite old place to procrastinate...thanks zana i miss you too!!! im done in like 3 weeks so i'll keep track of things i might wanna write about hope you'll still wanna help me zana!! lateeees -- - StonedJeff  TALK talk to me 22:28, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

YAY!!!!!!! Come back soon! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 01:19, 1 June 2009

Of Course

I remember you. Glad you're back! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:17, 1 August 2009

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