User talk:Horace Donald Westenchester/Archive

Welcome!

Hello, Horace Donald Westenchester, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Horace Donald Westenchester/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:10, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

VFD

I noticed you were working on rewriting an article that may be deleted. Should you wish to keep a copy or work on it further, I recommend moving it to your userspace for example here: User:Horace Donald Westenchester/Banana bread. Otherwise the article may not make it through the vote. You can also vote by going here or following the link on the article page. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:13, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Nano Bread

Nice Miss South Carolina by the way. Hi. The page you are playing with, Banana Bread, is up for deletion (see it's entry here, as in the message above). Your changes may kill it, and it has already earned one no vote because of your changes before. I was trying to save it, and edited it from a very horrendous version. So please leave it be, go find another page to play with or create your own article. You are a good writer, and I will go back and incorporate lots of what you wrote into the page, but let me do it, okey dokey? Let's save this page. Good to meet you, and again, nice Miss S.C. Aleister in Chains 22:43 11 6 MMX

Your UnNews story

I've moved your UnNews story here because it's not very good; that's not to say it hasn't any potential. I recommend you start you stories in your user space, then move them when you feel they're done. Read my welcoming drivel below for tips on how to curry favor with the Chief, and what we think makes a good UnNews article. If I can help with anything, leave me a message on my user page. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:29, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Horace Donald Westenchester, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

---

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

---

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

---

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

---

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Voting against everything?

Why did you quickly vote against 21 feature nominations? Did you even read them? Take a ban for being naughty. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:43, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding this

While that wasn't a bad review, it is generally considered kind of rude to do a review that someone else already claimed. Just keep up reviews like that on unclaimed articles and you'll be fine. :)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 07:46, June 27 2010 UTC

Nice work

In "What'cha thinking about" and the toaster page in the contest. Besides that VFH voting thing and a couple of glitches, you are getting to be a really good playa' here. Nice to have you around. Aleister 18:18 28 6 MMX

I just came across the "What'cha thinking about" and found it refreshingly funny..... I knew I recognised the author from somewhere; you're the guy whose vote for my article didn't count! (grumble grumble...) Hope the latest project gets finished with equal quality, it's good..............--thehallway 18:32, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

I think Horace is a writer who prefers to stay silent on his own talk page. Prove me wrong Horace - no one will bite! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:16, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

Your Review

Thanks for it. I'm glad you found my short little piece that I wrote in about twenty minutes so funny. I followed some of your advice--changing "persecute" to "prosecute" and added that line on asymmetric warfare, for instance, and took what I didn't implement into consideration. So yeah. Thanks for the review.

Also, for the record, you weren't banned for voting on VFH, you were banned for voting on every article in, like, fifteen minutes, or whatever it was, so it seemed like you didn't even read the articles you voted on. You can certainly vote on VFH. It's' encouraged, believe it or not. Particularly, you should *cough cough cough* vote on this piece of mine again, *cough cough cough*. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:19, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

I nominated that article for VFH. Feel free to vote on it. :-) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:49, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

And don't forget to vote on other articles, too. Specifically, ones that I write. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:49, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

You're a sockpuppet, aren't cha?

Don't lie. I have a good idea who this is. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:20, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Tell, tell. Is this one Hyperbole? But that asshole thing of voting no on 19 or 20 VFH noms without reading them probably rules out Hyperbole. And this guy is too good of a writer to be many other people, so a combo of good writer and asshole. Hmmmmmm. Not many candidates who have that strange mix. Tell, tell. Aleister 13:37 30 6 MMX

Could you have been any less helpful?

That review was awful. You entirely missed the point of what I was trying to do. The humour is supposed to have come from the juxtaposition of tragic mental illness with the generic mad scientist concept. Because you didn't understand that, I have no idea if it worked or not. Please don't do any more reviews. -- bad mannered Ape (prove) (Riot Porn) 01:01, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Not as bad as all that. Your reviews are pretty in-depth, and it's good to hear your "voice" too (since you won't answer talk page comments). Some reviews work, others don't, the same as with articles. I don't do reviews, I find it hard to be a critic of other people's work, and usually will do my "reviews" on talk page comments or in helping someone edit a page. But every review I've had from someone else has helped, and I've gone back and worked on the page due to their comments--seeing something through someone else's eyes and all that. I'd be happy to have you review one of my pages sometime, even though I might end up asking you to not do any more reviews too. You're coming along well, have you read our three holy rules? Enjoy. Aleister 1:24 1 7 MMX

Please do more reviews. Ape, even if you're frustrated from a review you found unhelpful, you should not tell him to not do any more reviews. He's actually a promising new reviewer. Also, he is new. He will make mistakes. Don't bite the noobs, please.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 01:59, July 02 2010 UTC

Actually, that sounds really mean. Sorry. No offense meant to you, Ape, you Irish bastard.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 02:00, July 02 2010 UTC

Promising in what sense? -- bad mannered Ape (prove) (Riot Porn) 02:06, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

All he did was waste the opportunity of a review talking about random nonsense and suggesting I add random crap to my article. -- bad mannered Ape (prove) (Riot Porn) 02:07, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Promising in the sense that he tries, and his other two reviews were fine. I thought that was overly harsh and not good overall, but he's still learning. It's fine for you to be mad, and I understand why you are, but telling to do no more is a bit over the line.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 02:13, July 02 2010 UTC

Let me make this clear: harsh is fine, welcome even. The point is he wasn't helpful. Whatever he said that wasn't irrelevant was ridiculous. -- bad mannered Ape (prove) (Riot Porn) 02:23, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Horace:Man of Mystery or a Sock For....?

At some stage Horace will have to break cover if he doing a pee review. And as for not being a 'Toastie' - well it's convenient that a member of the burnt bread brigade has denied this. Classic misinformation policy..or perhaps Horace is a member of the Russian spy ring and his reviews are coded messages back to handlers in Moscow....--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:17, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

It couldn't be TOAST because TOAST doesn't do Pee Reviews or any of that community shit. -- bad mannered Ape (prove) (Riot Porn) 11:37, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Ok but that argument wouldn't convince the Spanish Inquisition..--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:01, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Voted against 19 articles on VFH? Just admit it, Rom - it's you. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:18, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Haha...I don't need another name to do that and I always try to explain my vote. Come to think of it - this is like three strangers barging into another person's flat and continuing an argument. Perhaps Horace will come out from behind the sofa and stop all this..--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:24, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, you just need to sign out and sign back in as Horace for that to happen. -- bad mannered Ape (prove) (Riot Porn) 14:52, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

You guys...does this look like something Romartus would write? —Pelozurian (talk) 01:29, 3 July 2010 (UTC)

In case you didn't see it already

Your review, sir. —Pelozurian (talk) 04:49, 1 July 2010 (UTC)

Miss Teen South Carolina

Reviewed it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:47, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Also, that award fucks up anything posted below it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:50, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Some People Have Been wondering if you're a Sockpuppet

Because of this, I give you this fine award. I would tell you to play in traffic, but that would be unoriginal.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 03:44, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

Funky Führer Award You have won the Funky Fresh Führer award for no reason whatsoever. Bitte töte mich nicht. Heil der reichskanzler!

Fine, I'll admit it

This guy is actually... looking for a pee review. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 09:55, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Whatcha Thinking About?

Reviewed it, but it doesn't seem to be showing up when I publish. Maybe it's just my computer. If the review doesn't show up for you eitehr just edit the page so you can see it. --Some Idiot 11:01, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

So you are back

Since you go your sober sockpuppet unbanned. --Mn-z 02:33, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

I wouldn't go that far. Horace Donald Westenchester 00:03, September 2, 2011 (UTC)