User talk:Composure1/Archive1

Great job on Obama launches campaign for President of Cuba

I really liked your story about Obama running for president of Cuba, the part about Bill Clinton wanting to hook up with new interns did it for me, i was roaring lol. You're one of the few people on uncyclopedia whose articles I think are as good as mine. I really liked the one about James Brown and Gerald Ford having their bodies switched, the part about Saddam Hussein was the best though, I don't think anyone expected that lol. Anyways keep up the good work man --Uncle J 23:13, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

UnNews video

Brilliant! Dreadful! I laughed, I cried, I shat my pants... great stuff... I have to go vomit... Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:07, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

My wife loved it too, btw. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:09, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

Yeah... dibs on that video, very good although your co-anchor didn't talk much </bad_joke> anyway... well done, very funny... we should probably find an official place to put this stuff -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:39, 2 May 2007 (UTC)

You rock!

You are hereby awarded the

Purple Spleen

For heroic work in cleaning up the Uncyclopedia one article at a time.

Awarded to Composure1 by Rev_zim

You officially rock for reverting crap ay some douche bag user I can't remember, except to say I banned his ISP for a week. Feel free to pop this thing onto your user page as proof of your rockiness. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:23, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

38 minutes of listening to me is calculated to make you bat fuck insane

Thanks for pointing out the error in length of my mp3. It was the last one I did yesterday, and I honestly don't know how that happened. Oh, did you like that part when my wife told me to stop throwing the cats around? She's a great contributor, if only in spirit and voice. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:14, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote

Thanks very much for congratulating me on the dubious honor of attaining adminhood. I'm still scratching my head as to why I got the most votes (although I had only a couple, I think, more than Hindleyite). My wife thinks it's because I'm a nice guy, but I pay her well to have my opinions... so, it's possible I was elected out of a well placed sense of fear of my evilness. I've got a bit more to do with our going over to mp3's for audio, but I still want to keep doing what I've been doing. By the same token, I don't want to be a "ball hog", and I welcome edits, audios, and whatever from whomever. Thanks for your support of my adminhood, and for your precious contributions. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:04, 2 September 2006 (UTC)

Re: Welcome Back

Thank ye' very much, it's good to be back, I'm glad to see UnNews has matured so brilliantly while I've been away, cheers! --Olipro Anchor KUN (Harass) 15:40, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

thanks

Thanks very much for standing up for me as an admin. I don't know if I could be a decent one, but I feel so highly complimented that I've been named. You, sir, rock! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:55, 27 August 2006 (UTC)

UnNews formatting

Thanks for your Sharon article, it was a pleasure to disfigure read it for audio. One small item: could you please be sure to capitalize only the first word and proper nouns of UnNews titles in future as per Help:How to write an UnNews article? I know consistency is evil, but it exists. Thanks. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 11:43, 17 August 2006 (UTC)

You rock! I'll have to check into the 'CITY, country thingy, but I think I've always done it that way. Olipro is on vacation in the Canaries for a month, so I think we'll see hin again within 3 weeks, sooner if he's as out of his mind as I, and logs in from his vacation. Thanks for your help, and your kind words about my efforts. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:52, 17 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for your input about your article. I did the audio as Unprofessionally as possible within some arbitrary limits, which I change at will. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:13, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Advice is bad

Dear Composure1,

I've read quite a few of your articles, and as it's obvious that you're taking the quantity-over-quality route by pumping out zillions of articles hoping to get lucky and write something funny eventually, I understand that not everything you make is going to be perfect. However, I find it comical that you are so insecure that a mere suggestion over a certain way to tweak a few jokes inspires you to write an essay defending the Spirit of Humour.

Maybe you're right. Maybe constructive criticism is pointless. I ought to not try to improve upon articles by pointing out any potentially weak areas that could be strengthened. There's no such thing as a joke that needs better delivery or a line that could use rephrasing to enhance comedic effect. You're perfect, and Oscar Wilde got Dorian Grey right on the first try. Yipee.

Also interesting is your use of quotation for things I have never said: I have never told you to "change your style", "put more effort into it", or "be more funny". I have, however, said of your articles "Not crappy. Good job.", and even "I love it. Self-referential humor at its best." On the article in question, I said you had a "brilliant premise." But then came -- GASP! -- the advice for improvement! OH MY SWEET LORD, HELP US ALL!!! The fact of the matter is, everything that is written on here has some area that could be helped. In the case of this article, some of the quotations were a tad too out-of-character for them to be as funny as possible. In a satirical news article, it's not effective for a person in the story to blatantly state a joke. Subtlety is key. Not to put myself on a pedestal, I'll give you an example from one of my articles (after your suggestion that I spend time "writing [my] own articles rather then giving tips to others." it seems appropriate):

"I'm not surprised," U.S. press secretary Scott McClellan said in a press conference today. "In fact, the President received an e-mail from one of those very princes. Mr. Okando is going to put $2 million in the President's account, right after he pays the $35,000 fee."

This is more effective, I'd think you agree, than:

"I'm sending money to one of them Nigerian princes!" Bush said. "I sure am dumb for falling for such a scam, huh?"

That's all I'm saying.

When I was first starting out here long ago, I asked for advice on how to improve every article I wrote, hoping for feedback both positive and negative. Now, as a member and especially as an administrator of a humor wiki always striving to improve itself, I find it to be my duty to try and help improve anything that could be improved. You'll never grow or improve as a writer if you just flat-out reject any advice or criticism you recieve.

With utmost sincerety,

-- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 00:56, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

[insert gushing how awesome it is to have great writers compliment me here] :)--<<>> 04:33, 16 June 2006 (UTC)

Cannon superfast camera

Thanks for the NRV... fully agree with you, was just a silly thought that occured to me whilst lying flat on my back wacked out on painkillers :( . Hope someone out there can work it into a worthy article cos i kinda think the basic idea is funny ( or is that my drugs messing with my sense of humour?). --Usewho'sname? 18:20, 26 May 2006 (UTC)

No Redeeming Value

Hey, just thought I'd let you know that it's 5 tildes (~~~~~) to use when you're giving something the "NRV Stamp" since that places only the timestamp on it, and generally people don't like to put their username on it :P, also, I created {{UNRV}} for UnNews articled to be flagged, but that is of course, optional. It's nice we've seen so much more attention, but on the flip side, we're seeing some real tripe now too, still, hve to take both edges of the sword :P --Olipro Anchor (Harass) 10:27, 25 May 2006 (UTC)

Red Links

Hey, Zim just popped onto IRC to ask if there was any problems with red links :P. but, basically, as long as an article hasn't been flooded with them in their entirety (unless for comedic effect) then there's really no problem with having them, Cheers! --Olipro Anchor (Harass) 20:42, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

Well, effectively speaking, in the case of that Bush article, the red links add emphasis to the words, but the actual consensus on them is generally that they're ok so long as they don't hurt your eyes too much! technically speaking you could just make it bold, but since I don't see as he's gone too apeshite with them then it's ok :P, Cheers again! --Olipro Anchor (Harass) 20:55, 22 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for gettting back

I didnt take it personal... I just didnt want anyone to think id set out to make it like that. ;.) Thanks for your help and feel free to add anything you can think of.--JebusUD 19:51, 20 May 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:Man swallows fish tank

I agree that that this article has no redeeming value. However in my defence, did you see(or read the history) it before I changed it? for a quick fix I would say that it is a massive improvement. I mean... look at what I had to work with. In fact I cant even imagine what the original creator was thinking when he made it. Anyway, if you have any suggestions on how to fix it let me know. Thanks. --JebusUD 02:30, 20 May 2006 (UTC)

You are reading this talk page heading

Heh, cheers, the article was too original to pass up the opportunity of speaking it - somehow :) --Olipro Co-Anc (Harass) 22:04, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Template

Could you please use the start a new article on the main page of UnNews, and don't edit the templates; they've been edited now so that articles are included properly - thus you don't need to make any changes to them now; your article will be automatically included, also; could you fix your recent articles and get rid of NewsTest and instead, make sure that {{news}} contains the full date (i.e. 18 April 2006) instead, Cheers! --Olipro Co-Anc (Harass) 01:10, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the notice, fixed that one too! --Olipro Co-Anc (Harass) 01:15, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

Images

I noticed you've been doing it more... I think, but I was going to ask you to add images to your articles; the ones you use on the front page would be fine; it just makes the stuff nicer on the eye, you only need use [[Image:filename.ext|thumb|whatever caption you like]] above the article text, and it'll work absolute wonders, really! --Olipro Co-Anc (Harass) 18:31, 15 April 2006 (UTC)

Promotion

For reason of you kick ass at writing UnNews stories, I'm promoting you to Second Lieutenant per Uncyclopedia:Admin Rank. Have a nice day. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 23:01, 14 April 2006 (UTC)

Kudos on the easter bunny thing! I laugh :) --Chronarion 06:21, 18 April 2006 (UTC)

Thanks

You made me laugh out loud with the google news article. Ta. Busyboy 19:17, 23 April 2006 (UTC)

UnNews

Great goatse, 39 UnNews articles already? I haven't read any of them but they must be on the good side because all the links to them are still blue. Well done (I assume). —rc (t) 03:50, 1 May 2006 (UTC)

Deletion of an UnNews article

I noticed that you wanted the article UnNews:Wikipedia users oppose Uncyclopedia users, new study shows deleted. I added it to Votes for deletion. You can vote on it there if you want.

Also, you may want to read the Deletion Policy to find out when and how to nominate articles for deletion. --Sbluen 06:50, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:AOL Discloses Searches Of All Two Subscribers

I wanted to let you know, I liked this article on first reading, and was determined to do it, but I got confused and didn't get to it until today. It's been audio-ated... nice work. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:56, 9 August 2006 (UTC)

Al-Qaida's Tooth Brigade

I'm so pleased you approve. Thanks for your support. As always, you rock! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:40, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

Snakes on a Plane

I'm going to get round to making a 'Wish I'd thought of this' award one of these days. Until that auspicious dawn, have a little smiley face instead, and keep it up. =D FreeMorpheme 12:13, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Re:News

Jak fajnie, że ktoś tu mówi po polsku.:D Linki interwiki działają od bardzo dawna, żadnego problemu nie ma także z linkowaniem z innych przestrzeni nazw. Nic dla bota nie ustawiam chyba, linki są gotowe, a dział newsów posiada na razie tylko Uncyclopedia i Nonsensopedia, więc ingerencji bota się nie spodziewam. Ale i tak fajnie, że ktoś mówi po polsku, zapraszam na Nonsensopedię też. (Jak coś Ci z interwiki nie działą, spróbuj przełączyć skórkę na standardową.) Szoferka 08:12, 25 August 2006 (UTC)

John Mark Karr Emmy Story

That was a great article. Gave me a hearty laugh. --Stan Lather 01:54, 29 August 2006 (UTC)

Stan Lather says: "If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun."

Thanks for the vote!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Without your vote, surely someone worthy of the award, like yourself, would have actually won. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 01:04, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

XMas

Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW! Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:31, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Merry Christmas

Santa Claus has given you a Jumper for Christmas.. This was hand-knitted by Mrs. Claus herself. If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here. Merry Christmas! From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:27, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways. Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing. Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!

|

19:03, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Holidays* from the Holiday Turtle! May all of your Holiday wishes come true! (*Designated holidays may include, but are not limited to: Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, and the Winter Solstice)

Uhmm... Yes?   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:04, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks For The Welcome

Smells like Head & Shoulders, but I don't see any flakes.

Thanks for welcoming me here. I don't have much to give in return. Ummm, let me check. Looking, looking... Well, I got this here old football helmet signed by Earl Campbell. Enjoy. Again, thanks for the welcome, and please feel free to nominate me for random crap I don't know about and show me many of the profile options that I have no idea how to work. --JohnQ.Public 13:32, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

the "huff" comment

Either he's trying to be funny, or he's a grump. I generally look at VFH by "history" and, of the eleven times he's voted on current articles, none are "for"...which makes me feel not-so-bad about my own curmudgeonly voting ratio. /me pats Composure1 on back --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:48, 11 January 2007 (UTC)

Fourteen "againsts" now. Still no "fors". Looks like I've found a new hobby.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:04, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

UnNews Team

Heh, so you think it's a good idea? I didn't want to do too much work if someone was going to revert it ;) —Braydie at 15:31, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

+S

Braydie thanks you for supporting him to become admin. I would have done this sooner, but admins are supposed to be lazy. There is no personalised message either.

—Braydie at 00:03, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

WOTM

Thank you.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:45, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Award

Insineratehymn has awarded you a pentagram! ...for voting on HowTo:Properly Whore Your Article.
Don't worry, I'm not evil, I just do this as a publicity stunt.

--General Insineratehymn 00:11, 3 February 2007 (UTC)

Arglebump, you win.

I honestly had no idea that you made up such an article first.

Dang it, I thought I had something original and good after being discouraged following my WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY article's deletion.

Oh, well. I'll try something else.

??? 08:16, 4 February 2007 (UTC)

Anna Nicole Smith is dead

Please. Get over it. --officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 18:13, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

Nobody is forcing you to read the articles. If you don't like the subject, don't read them. Simple as that. --Composure1 20:01, 27 February 2007 (UTC)

8 or 9 articles in the last month. Isn't there a point where the joke gets stale? --officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 20:52, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

I am not responsible for the articles others write. Only two of mine was really about Anna Nicole (the other was primairly about Britney). And again, if you don't like them, don't read them. --Composure1 21:28, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Tigers and Cardinals

Uncle J thanks you

Uncle J has awarded you a baseball signed by the Vatican City Cardinals for voting on UnNews: Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series.

---

Bush declares martial law after interpreting lunar eclipse as bad omen

Just dropping you a line to say I really enjoyed this article, a real shiner. Benny Goodman 21:56, 4 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

For voting for her article, The British Class System, has awarded you: A print of Constable's Haywain. Now your true class will be seen by all.