Uncyclopedia:Wilde/T
Taht
“Taht is not Tihs because it is tehr and not ehre.”
Talent
“Sure let's call it that.”
Tastelessness
“I expected these articles to taste like chicken, but they don't really taste like anything.”
Tang
“...Mr President? I figured if anyone knew where to get some tang, it'd be you...”
Taxes
“Let me tell you about the last time I was in Texas. What, you want to know about taxes? Fuck that shit!”
Teeth
“All the better to eat you with, my dear...”
The Force
“What do you mean THE Force? Every educated man knows that there are two forces: one for the Jedi and one for sandwiches.”
The Killers
“The band's performance at Glastonbury in 2005 made me wet my pants.”
There
“Yeah, I've been all up in there.”
Thor
“You're thor? I'm tho thor I can hardly pith!”
Time, digital
“Counter-clockwise means nothing to a digital watch.”
Time, illusion
“Time is an illusion. That makes lunchtime twice as long.”
Time, quote
“You think I have time to give a bloody quote on time?!”
Tip O'Neill
“He was a Speaker, but no one listens to fat people or liberals.”
TiVo
“Just TiVo it.”
Toasts
“What better to toast a toasted one with, than toast?”
Tomato
“I suppose tomatos are- technically speaking, of course- pluralized with an "e."”
Treacle
“Treacle, eh? I know that's why I became a dressmaker!”
Tuesdays
“Tuesdays are glorified Mondays no matter how holy they are.”
Twilight
“At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to bone people's daughters without them knowing.”