Uncyclopedia:Wilde/B
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| Here you will find a repository of quotes from the Late, Great Oscar Wilde! | |
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Bagpipes
“I'd rather bite off my own cock than hear you blow those blasted things again.”
– Oscar Wilde on Bagpipes
Baking soda
“Honestly, officer, this suspicious white powdery substance in my pocket is not what you think it is!”
– Oscar Wilde on Baking soda
BananaPhone
“The banana phone has changed my life. It can change yours for only $24.99! Call now!”
– Oscar Wilde on the Banana Phone
Barrel Clowns
“When in a fix, a barrel clown makes a handy spouse.”
– Oscar Wilde on Barrel Clowns
Battle of the sexes
“The battle of the sexes will never be won; there has been too much sleeping with the enemy”
– Oscar Wilde on the Battle of the sexes
Bengplask
“I wonder if it still works with kumquat juice.”
– Oscar Wilde on Bengplask
Berlin
“Ich bin ein Berliner”
Bill Bailey
“There's no man with more Beard.”
– Oscar Wilde on Bill Bailey
Bill O'Reilly
“No, you shut up!”
– Oscar Wilde on Bill O'Reilly
Bleef
“I once used Bleef to saturate my tube socks, and it caused me to have epilepsy.”
– Oscar Wilde on Bleef
Blow Job
“The funny thing about a blow job is its neither”
BMWs
“What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.”
– Oscar Wilde on BMW
Board Theorem
“The Board Theorem has redefined political thought, especially for tea-drinking nancies. And Ayn Rand was a nasty hag. Or was she?”
– Oscar Wilde on Board Theorem
Booze
“Me just drinck 27 shot of whisky vadko sobstens. Gawk munta hawthnornt. Wheeeeeeeee!”
– Oscar Wilde on Booze
Bowling
“Bowling is truly the king of sports, as well as the sport of male monarchial despots”
– Oscar Wilde on Bowling
Bruce Campbell
“There's a little Bruce Campbell in all of us, or at least we wish there were.”
– Oscar Wilde on Bruce Campbell
Brunch
“Brunch is the meal you eat when you're too drunk to get up for breakfast.”
– Oscar Wilde on Brunch
ButteredToast
“There's nothing I like more than a breakfast that can blow you away.”
– Oscar Wilde on Buttered Toast
Byron, Lord
“Lord Byron... what a f*cking pussy.”
– Oscar Wilde on Lord Byron