Uncyclopedia:Wilde/B
Bagpipes
“I'd rather bite off my own cock than hear you blow those blasted things again.”
Baking soda
“Honestly, officer, this suspicious white powdery substance in my pocket is not what you think it is!”
BananaPhone
“The banana phone has changed my life. It can change yours for only $24.99! Call now!”
Barrel Clowns
“When in a fix, a barrel clown makes a handy spouse.”
Battle of the sexes
“The battle of the sexes will never be won; there has been too much sleeping with the enemy”
Bengplask
“I wonder if it still works with kumquat juice.”
Berlin
“Ich bin ein Berliner”
Bill Bailey
“There's no man with more Beard.”
Bill O'Reilly
“No, you shut up!”
Bleef
“I once used Bleef to saturate my tube socks, and it caused me to have epilepsy.”
Blow Job
“The funny thing about a blow job is its neither”
BMWs
“What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.”
Board Theorem
“The Board Theorem has redefined political thought, especially for tea-drinking nancies. And Ayn Rand was a nasty hag. Or was she?”
Booze
“Me just drinck 27 shot of whisky vadko sobstens. Gawk munta hawthnornt. Wheeeeeeeee!”
Bowling
“Bowling is truly the king of sports, as well as the sport of male monarchial despots”
Bruce Campbell
“There's a little Bruce Campbell in all of us, or at least we wish there were.”
Brunch
“Brunch is the meal you eat when you're too drunk to get up for breakfast.”
ButteredToast
“There's nothing I like more than a breakfast that can blow you away.”
Byron, Lord
“Lord Byron... what a f*cking pussy.”