Uncyclopedia:Wilde/C
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| Here you will find a repository of quotes from the Late, Great Oscar Wilde! | |
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CABA
“CABA is wonderfull piece of software, I can access my toasts without mounting it.”
– Oscar Wilde on CABA
Cacodemon
“Cacodemons are really ugly. I really wish they would take pride in their appearance.”
– Oscar Wilde on Cacodemons
Canada
“The tragedy of Canada is that it could have had British culture, French cuisine and American technology. Instead it got American culture, British cuisine and French technology.”
– Oscar Wilde on Canada
Canada (Nation)
“Not quite as many beavers as expected.”
– Oscar Wilde on Canada
Canonization
“Thank god for posthumous canonization! Anyone canonized alive would instantly become the most insufferable arsehole.”
– Oscar Wilde on Canonization
Captain Picard
“Xander is so gay.”
Car
“Nothing really beats walking on three wheels.”
– Oscar Wilde on Car
Carbon
“If you are ugly it's because God ran out of all the small red carbon, and was forced to use poor quality blue carbon instead. In which case it "sucks to be you”
– Oscar Wilde on Carbon
Carman
“How did that bastard pull a rabbit out of his hat?!!”
– Oscar Wilde on Carman
Carter
“I always thought that If I'd met Jimmy Carter, I'd call him Peanut Butter. Because, well, Peanut Butter is a funny name...but I don't think you're ready for this jelly.”
– Oscar Wilde on Jimmy Carter
Cats
“Ah, cats. They are nature's way of saying, Here, Put this in your pipe and smoke it!”
– Oscar Wilde on Cats
Censorship
“██████████████████████████████████████”
– Oscar Wilde on Censorship
Charles Nelson Reilly
“Charles Nelson Reilly... never heard of him. Poor bugger.”
– Oscar Wilde on Charles Nelson Reilly
Cheese
“Mmmm, cheese!!”
– Oscar Wilde on Cheese
Cheez
“It's the cheesiest, my ass!”
– Oscar Wilde on Cheez
Chewbacca defense
“I was going to buy an iPod, but I hated the idea of becoming a silhouette.”
Chicken
“Chicken crossing the road, you say? A clear-cut example of poultry in motion.”
Child
“Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”
– Oscar Wilde on Children
Christianism
“I have been scarred for life by accursed Christianism. May all the devils torment thee, that hath taken away mine own minor pancreas!”
– Oscar Wilde on Christianism
Christianity
“A most amiable fellow was Jesus, or J-Dawg as he preferred it. Beautiful teachings. Pity he never got around to explaining why God would rather we didn't fellate ourselves.”
– Oscar Wilde on Christianity
Churchill
“I dread the day when a man with a terribly weak mind rules one of the world's strongest nations.”
Cillit Bang
“The best bang since the big one!”
– Oscar Wilde on Cillit Bang
Civilization III
“"The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of the third civilization."”
– Oscar Wilde on Civilization III
Clap
“The worst clap I ever had was in Brighton.”
– Oscar Wilde on Clap
Clap2
“It's free!!! Like the clap!”
– Oscar Wilde on Content-free
Clapton
“Eric Clapton is, technically speaking, the best guitar player 'After Midnight'.”
– Oscar Wilde on Eric Clapton
Clowns
“The clowns want to take over and become the dominant species! They will destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all!...”
– Oscar Wilde on Clowns
Coffee1
“Hit me with the triple strength decaf, Shaky, my old mate.”
– Oscar Wilde on Coffee
Coffee2
“I like mine hot, black and gritty - and I'll have a coffee too please.”
– Oscar Wilde on Coffee
Color
“My favorite color? I like salmon. It's also my favorite fish, though I'm quite fond of tuna. Have you ever tried halibut? It's divine with mustard sauce.”
– Oscar Wilde on Color
Content-free
“There is a dynamic proportionality betwixt that which thee exchange coinages for, and that which thee receive in return. I learned this from my dearest mummy, who oft said, "Ya gets whats ya pays for".”
– Oscar Wilde on Content-free
Cornfield
“I shall never see a field of vegetables as yellow as corn”
– Oscar Wilde on Cornfield
Coruscant
“This movie sucks! They just showed twenty minutes of footage of the Galactic Senate! And do these characters show no emotion at all?! It's almost as if - Ooh! Wow! It's Coruscant! Shiny objects!”
– Oscar Wilde on Coruscant
Cows
“In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!”
– Oscar Wilde on Cows
Cowing
“Give a man a cow, and he will eat for, oh about a weekish. Teach a man to cow, and he will have no idea what the hell you are talking about.”
– Oscar Wilde on Cowing
Cream cheese
“Woe to the cheesemaker, if his cheese be creamed.”
– Oscar Wilde on Cream cheese
Cthulhu v. Japan
“The masterpiece of Judicial thinking.”
– Oscar Wilde on Cthulhu v. Japan
Cummings
“This is just too easy..”
– Oscar Wilde on Cummings