Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Press Room/5

Orian Breaks Uncyclopedia

# (diff) (hist) . . Bill Lawry‎; 20:08 . . (+14) . . 122.110.221.180 (Talk)
# (diff) (hist) . . m Maggie Thatcher‎; 20:07 . . (-1) . . Zukunft (Talk | contribs)
# (diff) (hist) . . User talk:Under user‎; 18:33 . . (+276) . . Orian57 (Talk | contribs) (→Ummmm....:)
# (diff) (hist) . . Talk:The IPO Incident?‎; 18:32 . . (-1) . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs)
# (QVFD) (hist) . . N Talk:The IPO Incident?‎; 18:31 . . (+487) . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) (←Created page with 'Dude. I think the biggest thing which is making this article, and some of your others look messy is that you are using an infobox which we don't have. Maybe take ...')
# (diff) (hist) . . Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion‎; 18:31 . . (+60) . . Syndrome (Talk | contribs) (→UnNews:Australia Declares War On Antarctica, Carrot Juice: )

What a bastard eh? What was he doing with it for over an hour and a half? MrN 20:13, Aug 4

What? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:16 4 August 2008

Don't pretend you don't know! Could have been skull though...

# (Block log); 18:17 . . Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) (blocked User:Dr. Skullthumper with an
 expiry time of 1 hour: Stop breaking the site!)

MrN 20:18, Aug 4

I genuinly have no idea. I tried loading a page about an hour and half ago, It didn't work - something about servers - and so I watched cartoons on fat-pie. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:22 4 August 2008

I kinda liked this one.

(cur) (last)  . . 15:03, 13 August 2008 The Woodburninator (Talk | contribs) m (7,408 bytes) (Undid revision 3249771 by
68.237.188.206 (talk)The supporters of John McCain would not call him a bitch, thank you.) (undo)

My first try at an UnSignpost article (draft)

Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members

By Methamphetamine

Yes, it's very true. Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that's on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing.

Im liking it. Not gonna lie, it's pretty good. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 03:30, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

a decent start. i'd like to see a little more length before it goes into an issue, though. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:44, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

I'm open to more quotes... Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 14:23, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

i'd like to get this into next week's issue. do you mind if i edit it a bit? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:24, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

No, you can go ahead. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 19:45, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

TKF screws up, I liked this log.

17:39, 16 August 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) unblocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) ‎(Hilarity hath ensued)
17:31, 16 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (...unless they can unban themselves, in which case, it's hilarious!)
17:26, 16 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) unblocked Orian57 (Talk | contribs)‎ (Seriously, TKF, when you joke ban someone, please do it for an invalid/short expiry time, not infinite. This isn't funny, it's just annoying.)
17:16, 16 August 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Orian57 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (DAMMIT MELISSA  ORIAN, YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO FUCK THINGS UP)

Oh did I get banned again? I never noticed. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:06 18 August 2008

Yeah, you got banned for weirdly counting to a million in Don't Count to a Million. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 23:57, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

FU SPANG, WE REACHED 1000

Count to a Million Reaches 1000!

By Regret Tenenbaum

August 20, 2008 - At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden 1000 upon Forum:Count to a million, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. Although, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times, that would mean 3000 archives, give or take." to which another user responded "Unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards that ever-glorious number - 1,000,000!

If no one gets the Simpsons reference, it's ok, right? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 06:16, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

1) good article, needs more length to make it into an issue though. try expanding on the porn wars. 2) taking lines directly from the simpsons, family guy, futurama, etc. is frowned upon. i too once went down the road of throwing those lines into articles, but then i realized that it's just a form of plaigarism. it's much more fufilling to come up with your own jokes. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:46, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

I started teh porn wars! Mention me again. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:04 21 August 2008

Can you do me a favor an do it yourself? Please?! I'm really busy today!!! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Regret Tenenbaum (talk • contribs)

2nd Draft

Count to a Million Reaches 1000! and Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce

By Regret Tenenbaum

August 20, 2008 - At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden 1000 upon Forum:Count to a million, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars.

On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert (The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe"). Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, constant editor on the forum said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18."

Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times, that would mean 3000 archives, give or take." to which another user responded "Unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards that ever-glorious number - 1,000,000!

Jailbait? I don't understand but I laughed. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:18 21 August 2008

Haha, it's ok. Do you have any ideas on how to make it longer and/or remove that Simpsons reference at the end? Perhaps you could add a bit about your trend-setting status? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 22:41, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey, I stopped the Jailbait... 'twas a fortunate day for all under 18. Sire Methamphetamine SMOKE METH! 00:29, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Ok, I made it longer like Cheevers said, but not it just seems odd to me (probably because it sounds like I wrote the Porn Wars thing just cos I like talking about myself). Perhaps instead of having one long story, you could just separate the above one into two short stories and add those. -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 06:43, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

congratulations. i have added your story to the next issue, where it will be edited mercilessly. just kidding, it's rather good, and i'll just make some tweaks. thanks! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:13, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Haha, thank you, sir! -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:34, 23 August 2008 (UTC)

I'm gonna do...

A tasteful piece about the Skully/Ethine drama, if Skully says it is Ok. -- cartilage Ape (implode) (Riot Porn) 19:52, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

i'm extremely hesitant to include anything of the sort. write it in your userspace and ask skull to approve it before you even show it to anybody. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:16, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Uhh...I think Skull's gone, guys... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:21, Aug 22

aw, i thought everybody hugged and made up? MrN even made sausages! in that case, there will certainly not be anything in the signpost about the incident. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:27, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

On reflection, it is a bad idea. But we should have some sort of goodbye to Skully. -- cartilage Ape (implode) (Riot Porn) 20:29, 24 August 2008 (UTC)