Armor

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Shields)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Chain mail, a form of armor, can be both protective and erotic.

Armor is any piece of material, typically worn or carried, that is used for the purpose of absorbing damage so that one may preserve his or her Hit Points. Historically, armor has played an important role in war, anime and RPGs.

History of Armor[edit]

In the year 1345, people were desperately attempting to invent something that could protect them against hail. Armor failed miserably, but they discovered it was rather effective while fighting fellow mortals, so they decided to keep it and expand upon the idea. Eventually this would lead to the invention of modern day objects.

Types of Armor[edit]

The Shield[edit]

This type of armor is worn when activities involving balls are conducted.

The Shield is a slab of steel or wood one holds in front of oneself to block a sword, a punch or a fireball. Another effect way to use a shield is to throw it at your enemies face in hopes you will, well, hit them in the face. Shields are effective at protecting against arrows, spears, and magic missiles.

The Helmet[edit]

Also know as the Bascinet, a helmet is a hat but much larger and metal-ier.

Body Armor[edit]

The armor worn around the body, sometimes referred to as mail. Body armor has many practical purposes, such as wearing for the sake of looking cool and wearing so you won't be hit by hail. No, wait. That one turned out not to work.

Under Armour[edit]

Invented as a substitute for deodorant.

See also[edit]

  v · t · e  
Fresh Gear
Depends.gif
Armor  Bible belt  Bikini  Black Tights  Bow tie  Bra  Brip  Clip-on tie  Clothing  Corset  Diaper  Disguise  Dress  Fashion  Flip-Flops  G-string  Glasses  Gloves  Goggles  Golf clothing  Gorilla suit  Halloween Costumes  Hats  Jew Beanie  Jock Strap  Kilt  Knickers  Latex Clothing  Mohair Thong  Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress  National Hat Day  Pajamas  Panties  Pants  Polo shirt  Proper clothes  Red Shirts  Sans-culottes  Shoes  Skirt  Socks  Speedos  Thong  Top Hat  Towel  Ugg boots  Underwear  Vestiphobia  Viking Metal  Zoot suit  (More...)