National Hat Day

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Any questions?

“Nonsense, I say America is Canada's trousers.”

National Hat Day is celebrated on the first day of July (July 1) every year in America. It dates back to the year 1620, when Americans first decided to do something about not having a holiday before the 4th of July. It was declared a national holiday in 1853 by President Millard Fillmore.

Why?[edit]

The holiday is celebrated on the same day as Canada Day in Canada. This is because Canada is, obviously, America's hat. That is why, so stop asking.

How come?[edit]

For a list of conspiracy theories as to why, see this.

What to do?[edit]

Traditional Hat Day celebrations include parades all across the country in which participants wear nothing but hats to cover their privates up, though the hats are optional and rarely worn. The most common and festive celebration on Hat Day is the annual invasion of Canada as a mocking technique to America's beloved cap.

Canada as a hat[edit]

It is quite noticeable that Canada does not resemble a hat all that much, other than its place atop the northern United States. There have been talks about chiseling away at the Canadian landscape until it resembles an actual hat. In 1987 it was decided that the task of turning Canada into a hat was the most important global issue at the time, so an excavation and landscaping team was sent to alter the country's image. However, officials could not agree on what style of hat the country should resemble. When Americans were polled, the top spot was split between a top hat and a baseball cap, with a cowboy hat shape coming in third place. This dispute has not ended and is still being discussed by world leaders all across the universe.

  v · t · e  
Fresh Gear
Depends.gif
Armor  Bible belt  Bikini  Black Tights  Bow tie  Bra  Brip  Clip-on tie  Corset  Diaper  Disguise  Dress  Fashion  Flip-Flops  G-string  Glasses  Gloves  Goggles  Golf clothing  Gorilla suit  Halloween Costumes  Hats  Jew Beanie  Jock Strap  Kilt  Knickers  Latex Clothing  Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress  National Hat Day  Pajamas  Panties  Pants  Polo shirt  Proper clothes  Red Shirts  Shoes  Skirt  Socks  Speedos  Thong  Top Hat  Towel  Ugg boots  Underwear  Vestiphobia  Viking Metal  Zoot suit  (More...)