Forum:Winter Festival King and Queen

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As in any high school full of miscreant children, and administrators looking for ways to avoid using the word Christmas, what Uncyclopedia needs is a Winter Festival with a King and Queen selected in a huge popularity contest.

I nominate Aleister in Chains and Lyrithya, for the exact reasons that such Kings and Queens usually get nominated: They seem to be everywhere; they seem to work around the clock; they are unafraid to take sides but usually wind up on both sides of any given debate, and their tireless quest is to keep things light. They seem to be one male and one female, neither of whose heterosexuality has been successfully challenged, putting the usual sexual edge on the nomination. And the offices, despite their grandiloquent titles, convey no additional power at all. A perfect fit.

For Spıke ¬ 10:43 1-Dec-10

• I nominate RabbiTechno and Mordillo and a I vote that we change the name of the position to Hanukkah Heros. -- The Zombiebaron 10:57, December 1, 2010 (UTC)

  "Kiss the Queen! Kiss the Queen!" Spıke ¬ 11:51 1-Dec-10

• I think a certain featured article has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that ChiefjusticeDS is not only a queen but THE queen. As far as a nomination for king, I don't have much, so I propose we have a bake sale and whoever raises the most moneys gets the crown. --—John Lydon 12:38, December 1, 2010 (UTC)

• I think whoever they are should get married. Thus I nominate SPIKE and Romartus because they'd make such a cute couple. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101201 - 22:17 (UTC)

• I nominate myself for Queen and, oh, any ol' cutie for King, TEE HEE!!!! --Roman Dog Bird 04:05, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

• I nominate Sonje and Lyrithya because, well, because. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:43, 2 December 2010

• Noms here I guess (see my longer comment below). I second Lyrithya's nom and proudy have the honor of nomming MadMax for Winter Fesival King! Aleister 13:57 2 12

Naw, you don't get it. These titles don't assume nor require any real majesty nor heroism (though both of my nominees evidence it occasionally). The posts are ceremonial. All they have to do is smile and wave. Spıke ¬ 17:29 2-Dec-10

Marriage is a ceremony. Who wants cake? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101202 - 17:40 (UTC)

Cake please. As for nomming people who could give good smile and good wave, that 92 vandal and Gomphog. Then Uncy can send them both on a goodwill tour for a few months, without a computer and with only a few eurobucks in their pockets so they'd have to beg on the streets of Calcutta. Then we could take pictures of that, sell them, and chop them into new images. It's all good. Aleister 18:15 4 12

Avoiding the C-word

Admins try to avoid using the word Christmas? Every stupid site does that, is this or is this not Uncyclopedia? We should change every single word in the entire site to a Christmas-themed word for the whole month of December just because they don't! I don't celebrate Christmas, I never have and undoubtedly never will, so I ain't sticking up for the holiday. Uncyclopedia should have Santa, trees, and even Jesus not being gay, a dinosaur, or any of the other variations just because we are Uncyclopedia. King and Queen? Ha! We should crown a Joseph and Mary just to put their panties in a bunch! Our logo should be a nativity scene! The main page should have blinky green and red lights with stars and angels all over! If you forgot to read this in a loud ranting voice, go back and read it again! ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 03:33, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

Post of the year! --Roman Dog Bird 03:38, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

(More on the media's sudden willingness to utter the C-word, at UnNews:Welfare time bomb ticking.) Spıke ¬ 12:30 2-Dec-10

This is a big fucking deal. You see, a Christian being wished "Happy Holidays" or a non-Christian being wished "Merry Christmas" from a smiling stranger is the worst form of religious persecution ever. Ever. -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 13:23, Dec. 2, 2010

Aleister's manhood

Thanks SPIKE! That was very nice. But, alas, I am into young boys (age 2-3) and/or small mammals, Red Pandas preferred. The last time I saw a woman naked was my mom during the birth process. I've never talked to a grown man, they scare me with those beards and things. Not fit for a King of nuttin. Now, Lyrithya would make a great Queen, so I second that nom, and for King, MadMax, the most Kingly user who moves silently amongst his subjects nudging and adding and moving and fixing, what a great user, and he would look good in a Crown too! Aleister 4:00 2 12

I'd totally marry MadMax. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101202 - 05:26 (UTC)

Somehow I knew that, if anyone cast doubt on your manhood, it would be you. MadMax's works are silent but legion. I may hide in the UnNews Audio basement, but he moves everywhere, between the walls. Spıke ¬ 11:36 2-Dec-10

Surely, you dare not speak of the Phantom of Uncyclopedia? DUUUUUUN dun dun dun dun-duuunnn! -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 12:03, Dec. 2, 2010

Whom I would marry

I'd marry Sonje, too. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101202 - 15:56 (UTC)

I'd marry Socky. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 19:44, Friday 03 December 2010 -

I wouldn't. He's too short for me. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101203 - 22:47 (UTC)

WHAT?!? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:52, 4 December 2010

I'm sorry, love... I should have told you sooner, but the time never seemed right. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101204 - 17:39 (UTC)

I'd marry Jennifer Jason Leigh (if she weren't already married to someone (which she is)). --Roman Dog Bird 22:51, December 3, 2010 (UTC)

Why let a little thing like that stand in your way? *hefts sniper rifle* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101203 - 23:04 (UTC)

I suppose Buffy Summers (not Sarah M. Gellar, who is quite empty-headed), with an affair or six on the side with the likes of Anne Hathaway and that girl from that one ad. On the site, I'd marry Ethine, and we'd fight like scorpions and then have great make-up (not make-up sex, just make-up), with a few affairs on the side with the likes of . . . Aleister 14:14 4 12

I'd probably marry Black flamingo11. --User:Kate Bush 14:44, December 4, 2010 (UTC)

I accept your proposal Lyrithya. Now give me your money. --^Dame 20:10, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

I don't have any money. 1234 ~ 20:21, 10 December, 2010

Then I want a divorce. --^Dame 20:31, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Then I'll take half of your money. 1234 ~ 20:59, 10 December, 2010

Ha! I don't have any either. It seems we are at an impasse, darling... --^Dame

What a shame. Funny neither of us saw this coming... or did we? 1234 ~ 21:15, 10 December, 2010

I have lots of money, but I'm asexual, so that sucks for you. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 22:41, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

i'm a sexual person too. --nachlader 14:28, December 11, 2010 (UTC)

UnCouples, anyone?

So far as I can tell, here's who we've got so far.

• HELPME and Orian57
• Aleister and Lyrithya
• RabbiTechno and Mordillo
• SPIKE and Romartus
• Roman and some hunk
• Sonje and Lyrithya
• MadMax and Lyrithya
• Colin and Socky
• Aleister and Ethine

Lyrithya, you're really in demand. --High Gen. Meganew (Stuff I've Done) (Chat With Me) (Get an Award!) FORCES ENLIST MUN 15:25, December 11, 2010 (UTC)

Oops. 1234 ~ 16:07, 11 December, 2010

Wow, good UnCouples. Hell, they might even get married.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 20:27, December 29, 2010 (UTC)