Forum:If you can ban me and my IP for a day...

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Then please ban "Hestian" and her IP. She's my ex-wife, here to stalk me. True, she could then log in with library computers, but at least it would confine her stalking of me here to day hours, and of course, when I spot her, I'll ask that each of those library IPs of her tiny town's library computers be banned.

Failing that, please tell me how to unjoin my membership. Trust me, I ask this for YOUR own good.

--Clemens177 01:04, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Sannse's generally the go-to person for such things. Failing that, just give an admin a heads-up (IRC, to start. Comb recent changes for an admin and leave a request on their talkpage, if that fails) when she reappears. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:19, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Got her. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:22, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

thank you.

Thanks, Modus. That should slow her down some. --Clemens177 01:31, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks again.

I'll try and start writing articles again soon. For tonight, I'm signing off. Sorry for the trouble. --Clemens177 02:46, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Now look at my talkpage. What should I do? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:58, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, she seems stuck on binkies... Whatever the hell those are. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 03:59, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Um, yeah, so...

Look at my talkpage. I don't know the details. I don't want to know all the details. I just want this over. Drama makes me sad, like when mommy and daddy fight. Then, when I go into their room later, instead of a chair, mommy is sitting on daddy's face! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:02, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

I've gathered that you are letting her stay. Good luck and good bye.

You guys are kind of morons, or else staggeringly ignorant. Proof was offered, emails were offered to be forwarded, and that I know what city and state this innocent "new user" is posting from should have told the tale to all who "graddeeated from da sixth grade". Enjoy her binky articles, and I pity any of you who in any way interact with her. You will truly be punishing yourselves - and if you really get into her world, your family and friends will be punished by her, too. Google "Robin Neff" and see how many stalking, trespassing, harassing charges you can find. You can have no conception of the damage she can do, and has done. Me, I've lost two jobs and had my entire house looted, neverminding everyone I know and care about harassed, harried and scared shitless. Don't bother to respond, I'm out of here. --Clemens177 00:28, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

P.S. You know...please, don't take the insults in such a fashion as to dismiss this. None of you would be the first to email her to "just see what's going on". Everyone who has disliked me or not believed me in other forums has already done this - and then had to change their emails to get her to shut up. Or change their phone numbers, if they were dumb enough to talk to her. And in one case, move, when they were so stupid as to swap addresses. A guy came home to find her sitting in his living room, chatting with his underage daughters about how daddy and her were meant to be. Kind of a shock to his wife of fifteen years, and sure fucking scary for his kids.

Look, dude, we set up a rule that if she talks to you then she gets banned. I get that you're going through some IRL shit, but we can't ban a user who has yet to do anything wrong because one user is convinced she's his crazy ex-wife. Panicking and leaving the site is the internet equivalent of letting her win. Sooner or later you're just going to have to live your life and trust that the admins can take control if things begin to go south. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 00:54, Jun 26

TLB, your trust in the Admins is touching, but as the police and DA can't handle her, what makes you think they can? They had their opportunity to ban, and decided not to. Hardly "handling it". She did more than just try and post here, she posted on my site a pretend note, acting like she was some random stranger. That is NOT in accordance with just wanting to come here and post for you. Proof was offered, and is obviously still available. I have not yet found how to unjoin, if need be I shall just get myself banned, if no one will tell me - as I've asked - how to voluntarily unjoin. As to "letting her win"...you poor son of a bitch, this is no game...it's my fucking life, as it is all the lives of others she's fucked with. You want to come home and find her talking to your underage kids? Then go get involved with her. Me...I love writing for you all, but not at this price. Good luck...you will need it. --Clemens177 01:05, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

You can't "unjoin." There's no such thing. All you can do is stop logging on if you want to leave. I'm telling you though, if messing with you is what she wants to do, then by freaking out you are giving her exactly what she wants. And really, one user is going to destroy uncyclopedia and rape our underage children or something? We've had every kind of nutjob here before, just ask mordillo about NXWave. We've dealt with dynamic IPs and proxy programs and people with access to multiple libraries and god knows what else, but nobody has ever been harmed in any way, except maybe the odd feeling getting hurt. I'm telling you clemens, there is nothing to worry about. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:10, Jun 26

TLB, you have apparently not been stalked, or at least not stalked well. It is the contact, the interaction, the just being near. That is what feeds her. Jesus fucking Christ, just since being here, she's got excited enough about witnessing my presence that she's started another round of harassment of my wife's family. She even made up some fucking email name, "John Freeman" or some such and emailed crap to my daughter in law. I suppose before this shit started, I might have had a hard time taking it seriously, too. But you - and others - must surely be capable of listening to reason and learning from the experience of others? It is provable that this Hestian is my ex. It is provable that she pretended not to be. It is provable that she was divorced from me over a year ago. It is provable that she has had other guys charge her with stalking, harassing and tresspassing before. This is NOT a mystery, it's proof available to any admin who likes. This is NOT some issue of "he said, she said". You all witnessed her pretend to be a random stranger, and you can all witness that she is not. If I truly cannot unjoin, then I request to be banned permanently and immediately, so that I don't have to go to some sophomoric trouble to "get banned". Please know that this is as much for your sakes, as mine. I've little left for her to destroy. You all - and especially any of you dumb enough to email her - have plenty to lose. And lose it you most assuredly will, and the more into her world, the more you'll lose. It's not like your the first group she's found me at, and I've sure heard the stories from those places. --Clemens177 01:18, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Dude, I realize the situation's bad. I have, on more than one occasion, wanted someone off my cyber-back. I hear you. But I can only suggest two things, really. The first is to leave. There's no need to ban you; just stop checking the site, you'll be fine. Because of the way the site is laid out, there isn't any possible way to delete your account, and anyway, who gives a rat's ass about that? Just stop visiting. The second, if you truly feel that you will be a good contributor and not get caught up in drama, is to leave, and then, an arbitrary time later, create a second account. So long as you don't use this account for bad things i.e. voterigging, and you truly assume this new identity, never coming back to your old one, and I mean ever, you'll be fine and as anonymous as ever. But beware: If you take this step and abuse the account by using both accounts at once, that's sockpuppeting, and you'll be banned indefinitely. These are the only two things I can suggest to you, dude. But even if you do consider option two, please, take a week off, maybe several weeks, first. Otherwise you will get caught back up in drama. It's just the way it goes. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:29 Jun 26, 2009

Also, drop a line to an admin in IRC if you ever do come back. That way at least one of the higher ups will know and you won't be nominated for NotM. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:35, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Dexter, that's awfully nice of you, to so casually point out that if I didn't identify myself, that I'd be likely to be NotM again. I appreciate such a compliment. Means a lot.

Dr. Skullthumper, I will log off and not return. Asking to be unjoined or banned seemed a small request, though. This isn't some routine stalker who will leave in few days of no activity on my part. Just you all leaving my nic open will keep her several more months. Bear in mind, I divorced her over a year ago, and we were separated six months before that. Good luck. --Clemens177 01:42, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

For the love of God, ban that crazy bitch please. I've read all the various things and...um...yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:01, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

I just knew that this wouldn't end...

...that no matter what decision I made, someone would go apeshit, someone would have their "feelings" hurt. "Either way," I figures in my head at the beginning of this, "the one you don't ban will turn out to be Drama." "Just ban them both.", I continues to myself. "No, be more naked." I closes. Then I gets sleepy. Later, I has nachos.
"If I truly cannot unjoin, then I request to be banned permanently and immediately, so that I don't have to go to some sophomoric trouble to 'get banned'". Done. That's 50% Drama reduction. Only 50% to go. Hell truly is other people. You all suck. This is why I never come out of my cave. Granted, it is the Batcave so, as caves go, it kicks a metric tonne of ass, but even the Batcomputer calculates that I should get out more. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:49, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Shut up, Dick Grayson! You're no Bruce Wayne! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 03:53, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Dick Grayson, you ass!--Nytrospawn 15:06, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

And you Damien Wayne! You're the gayest Robin since Jason Todd! Also, you're father never loved you! Hal Jordan 21:48, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Anybody else find this whole situation incredibly stupid?

Really, how hard is it to find an anonymous username and hide your e-mail address when you join? I mean, if this idiot's telling the truth then it's not like he didn't realize there was a possibility this could happen. The only way anybody knows who you are IRL is if you tell them. Instead, he's apparently managed to let his "stalker ex wife" know what his username is and brought a bunch of drama here. At least, it's drama to him. Personally, I couldn't care less what happens between these two. It sounds like they're perfect for each other. I'm calling shenanigans on the whole thing. Permaban them both and be done with it. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:19, 26 Jun

Did we really have to ban Clemens?

Considering we could've just banned his ex-wife for good the first time around and avoided most of this. Now we're punishing him (a good, contributing user) for no real reason. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:25, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Meh. As far as I can tell, the majority of his contribution is drama. He lost any sympathy I might have had for him when he attacked RAHB for no reason. As far as I'm concerned he's just an attention seeking drama whore. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:27, 26 Jun

We did. She started proxying the shit out of the place. Then, Clemens started arguing very long paragraphs, which got us nowhere. Really, there was no other solution. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:30 Jun 26, 2009

Eh, I suppose. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Could you ban Cajek now?

He's my ex-wife, and he's been giving me trouble. pillow talk 21:02, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

I am still curious to know how Hestian found Clemens here in the first place..Co-incidence ? Well the interruption of what looked like RL Drama was at least a diversion if not really for this site..--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 21:12, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

I've said this before, but Uncyclopedia is like ER, but with ugly people. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:13, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

You mean, if you stop breathing, there's a 95% chance I can resuscitate you with a couple quick shocks with the paddles? pillow talk 21:55, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, Hestian's user page does say:

I respectfully request, that if any of these articles are distributed elsewhere, 
that you simply attach my name - Dean West - to them. Thank you. 

In fact, he wrote his real name in at least three places on the site.

See how that Google search turned them up so easily? Assuming that Dean West's wife knows how to use Google, finding him would not be an incredible challenge. pillow talk 21:25, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Further proof that he's just not that bright. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:28, 26 Jun

And that he played Dave in Twister's Revenge!. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:38, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that this is his blog, too. Wow, Hestian's right - stalking Clemens is kind of fun. pillow talk 22:02, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, he does live in Illinois... So probably. But quit stalking him. He doesn't like it. And continuing to mention it could get you banned for cyber-bullying, just like him you mention that guy. Or Nintendorulez. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:06, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Stop stalking him dammit! What is wrong with you people? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:14, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

But following Modus around is fun! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:17, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

It occurs to me that an interesting thing to do would be to find a guy who's being stalked by a crazy, but hot, woman, and then go around signing up for stuff on the Internet under his name. pillow talk 22:20, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Brilliant! -Clemens177 Hestian is hot, right?

This forum topic is my deranged ex-wife

It follows me everywhere I go! Well, when I go here, anyway. Can we delete it now please? • Spang • ☃ • talk • 23:18, 26 Jun 2009

"So, we're done here, I hope?" (Note: My serious face, amusing found in a cursory googling for "my serious face". Terrifyingly, this guy appears to have a bunkbed, making him the 5 o'clock shadowest eight year old ever.) Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Why so serious? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:38, 26 June 2009 (UTC)