User talk:Jmplayer
Welcome![edit source]
Oh, hello, Jmplayer, nice that you decided to make a new account into these flaming wheels of death and sorrow. I`m happy that all the 666 messages we sent you finally worked. We are also thankful because of your contributions, but in any case, please read the text below before you end up too quickly.
- Beginner's Guide - Guide to folks like you.
- Our Vanity Polices - So
the Africans from Finlandjust few people could understand you and not automatically ban you. - How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid - Like the name says, it teaches "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid." Nuff said
- And remember: Dont be a dick. Uncyclopedia admins NEVER like dicks. Unless the dicks are their own.
When you are in discussion with other Hungry Spirits of Uncyclopedia, please remember to sing sign your name with ~~~~, or press the (
) button. It`s important to know who talks and when someone talks. Everybody would be confused, and some of the users have frying pans. So be careful.
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Jmplayer/Article about stuff) so you may edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done slap a construction template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
Well, of course, we here at Uncyclopedia have lots of action and games, so you wouldn`t get bored. Often articles will require proofreading, among other fix ups, and we could always use more reviewers, and for the more artistic of folks, there's the option of creating images to aid articles that need more images and making them prettier, for instance. Uncyclopedia also sometimes has big competitions, like PLS and others.
If you`re still feeling uneasy, come out of the corner and ask from me, admins, IRC, Village Dump or then go and ask from Lyrithya. And don`t forget that you can be always adopted in Adopt-a-Noob program, the best program in world.
So, again, welcome!
OMG!!! It`s Cat the Colourful, Jesus Christ!!! 10:39 9 August 2011
The Big Crunch[edit source]
Unobtanium[edit source]
Much thanks for your vote from Shabidoo and Funnybony. Cheers!--Funnybony 
16:16, Aug 14
We shot the hole-in-one, but you were the caddy![edit source]
It appears that you voted for Mini-golf, which ended up getting featured. Myself and Matthew Snowman would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts (well... maybe somewhere around the middle, but you get what I mean) for carrying the club all the way to the front page. Hope your career as a caddy is long and prosperous. Thanks again. --
03:06, August 31, 2011 (UTC)
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously[edit source]
Thank you! --
11:54, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
Salutations, and other complications[edit source]
“Who died?”
Felicitations
It is apparently de rigueur to spam a user's talk page with templates, if that user has voted for your article on VFH, or has other-services render'd. As you have apparently done something of this sort, here is your reward: a plain, black box with white lettering, thanking you in a generic fashion for what you have done.
(Signed) Bizzeebeever
P.S. Yes, your suspicions are correct, this template is utterly unoriginal.
Olympian Thanks[edit source]
Thank you for supporting my fourth featured UnNews piece.
I appreciate it, and stuff.
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 12:39, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
Greetings[edit source]
I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. ~ 
18:57, 6 January 2012