User talk:EugeneKay/Zig
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! ---- The Zombiebaron 01:54, 25 January 2008 (UTC)
Pre-Rendered Welcome![edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay/Zig, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, dammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, particularly the second one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- The FAQs - a few common editing questions answered for your convenience
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
- Uncyclopedia:Chat - Follow the instructions here to come to the Uncyclopedia IRC channel.
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your username, a link to your userpage, the date, and your social security number. Really, there are only two rules, just make sure you take a brief look at them.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone who cares will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome to the machine!
- You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon chiché (if you want respect, trust me, try French instead of Internet-Speak). Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
- Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
- Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
- Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page Flappy woo-ha, create User:EugeneKay/Zig/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed.
- Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
- And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:06, Jan 22
Uhh...[edit source]
Apparently my .js has decided to welcome you. So...welcome! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon 
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:06, Jan 22
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!
Dammit! Beaten to it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:08 Jan 22, 2008
You Are An Unwilling Participant in a Nefarious Competition![edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay/Zig, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!
You might think that you're being welcomed because you are liked.
Well
You have been misinformed. You are not liked.
Well, maybe a little.
Especially if you made a cake. Did you?
Anyway *clears throat*
The reason you have been welcomed is because members of an evil group, known as The Welcoming Committee are trying to score as many new members as possible to win some obscure statistic. Confused? So are we.
Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the airlock right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Don't forget the big red button marked "EJECT".
Here are a few good links for people new to this psychotic wiki:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join.
Consider yourself welcomed. Now get to work!
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! -- 22:32, 23 January 2008 (UTC)
Oh Dear![edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! --
TKFU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 
01:18, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
Welcome![edit | edit source]
Hello, EugeneKay/Zig, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Also, I suggest you use our templates wisely. If you wish to post an article that you have not yet completed, post the article in your namespace under the title User:EugeneKay/Zig/ArticleTitle and complete it there, or use Template:Construction (userspace construction is preferable though). If you want help with articles, post on Pee Review, and add the {{PeeReview}} template. Finally, please do not put your signature in your articles.
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! 
Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 13:20, 24 January 2008 (UTC)
I can tiye mI shoolaces[edit source]
...but you don't see me writing a how to :S. But seriously that went way over my head. Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 
