User:Sonic80/Nintendo DS

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Donkey Kong Special Edition Nintendo DS

Nintendo DS stands for a plethora of things. "Nintendos Damn Stupid", "Nintendo's Dog Stench", "Nintendo's Deadly Silence", "Nintendo Doggy-style Sex", "Nintendo Doggy Style", "Nintendo Dog Sex", or even the rarely used "Brett". It was created to surpass the PSP as the most worthless piece of crap hand-held in history. Using this hand-held will literally cause your head to explode out of the complexity alone.It's also popular among pedophiles, due to its ad campaign, "Touching Is Good".

An Idea is Born[edit | edit source]

Previously known as the Nintendo BS, the Nintendo DS is a watered down version of the previous model to avoid harmful radioactive effects from the Nintendo BS. When Sony showed their PSP at the E3-show in Brussel's Sprouts, Nintendo began production immediately. They were not going to let Sony out shitty them again.

The DS was released in December of 2005, just after the release of the most popular Nintendo hand-held, the Gameboy Micro. Of course, the DS didn't come along without controversy. Initial reviews criticized the fact that you need 3 hands in order to properly play a vast majority of the games available for the DS. However over time people began to find that not being able to beat the tutorial level of all their games due to lack of third hand quite entertaining.

Features[edit | edit source]

Its clamshell case is made of Nintendium Alloy, a low-density plastic compound that is impervious to most damage, and an AT (Absolute Triforce) Field generated from the GBA cartridge inside. This field uses the soul of the GBA to protect the DS from damage that would destroy a normal handheld, like the negative energy wave produced upon the 2005 launch of the Xbox 360 (see Xbox 360 Launch). It also holds a hidden stylus which is both laser cannon and plasma projecting blade, a thumbstrap tether for detaining enemy handhelds and power cartridge based energy shield.

It also features 2 screens, but that is clearly not as important.

Despite the shittiness of the DS, it was still the most profitable hand-held ever designed.

Pictochat[edit | edit source]

The DS comes with software called Pictochat automatically built in, which was originally designed to allow DS fans to chat with each other using images drawn by the users. However over time it has just become a means for children to send other children poorly drawn pictures of penises.

Titles[edit | edit source]

The DS has a wide-range of games carefully copied from the Nintendo 64, including classics such as Mario 64, Kirby 64, and Mario Kart 64, slightly renamed for the newer game system. The titles became Mario 64 2: Mario 128, Kirby and the Magic Mirror, and Mario Kart DS respectively. N64 fans need not fear, nothing about the games was changed at all between the name changes. A complete list of DS games was created here for uncyclopedia users only.