User:Hawthorn Peebles/Past News Articles

Chronological order (more or less)

by H. Peebles

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Author

Americans euphoric regarding terrifically low-cost gas UnJournalist: "Holy Crap!" AAAAAA! gets mispeeled Royal Mounties doing FBI's job: Gene Shalit captured Michael Bloomberg Prepared to spend 1 Billion Dollars for White House UnNews:Go figure: horny tiger offs cheating Canadian Sex scandal surrounds political rally in Pakistan International elections, a real hassle Last year, Mexico claimed 105 million residents, while America claimed 20 million of them Hot free ass porn now taxed by Congress UnNews:Underarm deodorant tainted with foreign material President places price freeze on chocolate commodities UnNews:Gerald Ford dies again? All your boxers are belong to us Rising C's in Asia make American kids smile Muslim world gets burned by Pope and can't make snappy comeback New Zealanders freak out as space junk hits backyard Terrorists target Green Bay sewer system Mud, still everybody's favorite Astronomers find fluffy planet London Police seize massive gun cache 20 injured in Montreal college shopping spree Former U.S. President Gerald Ford dies Indian National Squat Champions 2006 New Zealanders freak out as space junk hits backyard Truck crashes through downtown Toronto Many killed in Turkey explosion CIA election rally held in Yemen: A football game breaks out Pope Benedict XVI complements Islam, jihad EU tells consumers, do more to cut carbon dioxide emissions France: Oui surrender Russia: We won Iran threatens to invade yo mama Last week something disappeared Iran declares war on next hurricane Iceland rumored hiding in the Fiji islands New Zealand National Party only wants the Flintstones as immigrants Ayman al-Zawahiri warns: I am impotent and complicit Gay anti-Latvian protestors attack gay extremists Real world news once again mocks UnNews Twinkie supply dwindling in OPEC nations UnNews:Everybody must get stoned Chernobyl real-life re-enactment scheduled Homer Simpson awarded nuke power industry's employee of the century Weird Australians are touted as first signs of intelligent life Month of May: Real news shorts in review How can UnNews compete? Interview: The Millennial Big-D Day Seismologists detect an oddity deep in the ocean floor Alternative Fuels:The wave of the future Four Palestinians killed in panty raid Turkey ablaze at airport Health:Large breasts curbs depression Greedy_Carmakers_warn_about_Ethanol Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice Hurricane Katrina still on killing spree Planet Earth mocks Iran by invading Uranus Iran threatens to invade Bin Laden WHO blames tainted opium for Iran's string of empty invasion threats Iran threatens to invade Columbia Iran threatens to invade Nepal Collection Synchronizations Expands Secure Donut Shredding Services New Guinea blamed for tsunami panic in New Zealand Iranian headcheese reveals family recipe for brownies Iran lays down plans to invade New Delhi Iran invites Canadian journalists to barbeque Port Workers to Undergo Background Checks Iran strains to cover nuclear agenda Bush vows to make change Mombai: The party gets pooped Viagra blamed for swollen Danube problem Report says Rumsfeld allowed Colonel Tigh to abuse Guantanamo prisoners Evansville to install wireless sewer system Katrina Was Wake-Up Call for Preparation-H Hurricane Evacuees' Trailer Explodes WMDs_may_have_been_moved_to_Mars NASA to install Prius engine on Space Shuttle Gulf Coast Team to Study Dutch Flood Controls Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Scientist ran out of hurricane names Three Automakers To Unveil Hybrid Plans Weapons Plant to Save $2 Per Year Through Energy Efficiency Earthlink announces new job openings Stern dropped from radio stations TV's My name is Earl is slated for many awards New Orleans Saints coach Haslett fired UnNews to get global random weather generator Bill Clinton to surprise UN conference Bill Clinton to imbibe the UNcola UN talks support unclean energy in unrich nations Villagers flee as Vanuatu volcano pumps out gas Global spam could halt ocean circulation, with harmful results DOE sends energy saving team to Pennsylvania Prison Complex Dust storm in Taklimakan The state of the science in monitoring drinking water quality Katrina deaths lead to real-life 'CSI'

Edited Local woman not injured, just ugly Hilton IS Messiah after all! Report: News Edtiors Geting Lasier Breast Implants decrease Intellegence but won't give you Cancer France: Oui surrender ...and some others