UnNews:Chernobyl real-life re-enactment scheduled

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

12 June 2006

QUAD-CITIES -- In a megadeal of the century, an undisclosed, major Hollywood film production company has laid down firm plans to shoot a controversial version of the long time running reality program "Survivor". So far the rumor mill says that the title and plot lines will run along a failing, overused nuclear power plant.

Authorities, however, have confirmed a probable date and location for the filming of the episode. Without regard to participant health, it is only expected that one program will get filmed. "That's only if the mega doses of gamma radation doesn't fry the film first," says one anonymous filmographer.

Currently, tickets are being sold by TicketMaster at all locations throughout the US and Canada and tickets are also available on the net as well. "The way we are doing it, should be acceptable," says one ticket master spokesman, "Hopefully, prevailling winds won't blow the radioactive material back to the audience."

The story line of doing a "Survivor" episode along side a nuke meltdown has been in the works for some time now. The plan is to cross a reality show with a re-enactment that is planned to end in one grand finale. Recently, a few US plants have shown promise due to age and extreme over use by greedy power companies.

One such plant is owned by New Orleans based Entergy in Vermont that is over 30 years old. Another just as promising location is at the Quad cities plant, currently owned and operated by Exelon.

Since it has been about 20 years since a decent meltdown has occurred, like at Chernobyl, the producers felt it would be cool to make it a special Chernobyl anniversary re-enactment edition of "Survivor"

The site at Quad cities is place very much like a place where Homer Simpson would call home. The major qualities that would make a spectacular meltdown are found here. Loads of red tape, with cracks in every piece of metal in the plant. There are even unofficial rumors of failing control rods.

"Yeah, sometimes it gets pretty crazy here, the whole place shakes when we power this baby up over 100%. Its one helluva rush, oh yeah!" "I ain't supposed to say this...but we are already showing the "reality" show people how to do things around here...hehe, one time it got a little dicey, and I almost crapped my pants."

It is expected that one billion dollars in profits will come from from ticket sales and advertising is still under negotiation by many companies like Coca-Cola, Pizza Hut, and Dippin-Dots.

Sources

• Yuri of the former KGB