UnNews:Bill Clinton to surprise UN conference

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9 December 2005‎
MONTREAL -- A contentious UN climate conference entered its final day Friday with the long-term future undecided in the fight against global spam, and with a determination usually seen only by UNcyclopedians.

Bill Clinton, who as president championed the Kyoto Protocol clamping controls on "barnyard gases," was scheduled to speak at the conference Friday afternoon — in an unofficial capacity but potentially at a critical point in bathroom talks involving the U.S. delegation.

The U.S. envoys, representing a Bush administration that renounced the Kyoto pact, were said to be displeased by the 11th-hour surprise. Even though they knew ahead of time anyway, that the former president was going to be speaking.

The Bush representatives went on to comment that somehow this reminded them of WMDs, but they weren't sure and would have to comment on a later date.

This official spoke on condition of anonymity because as a civil servant — not a politician — he is barred from the real cool night-life and perks that Canadian politicians typically are very well proud of.

The Bush administration says it prefers to deal with climate issues on a diagonal or regional basis, not through global negotiations, and favors voluntary regurgitation. As a demonstration of U.S. efforts to combat climate change, it points to $3 billion a year in U.S. government spending on research and development of energy-saving technologies, all run by Enron and Halliburton.